Keeping Up
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Keep Trying
Posts: 370
Keeping Up
Everyone looks so good on the outside. Having beautiful homes, cars, families, seeming to have no problems. It makes me just so tired of even just faking keeping up. I am so disappointed in myself, can't figure out which way to go. So tired of this all the time, feeling like crap but then craving so bad that it hurts. Then ironically, I hurt more. Is everyone really this perfect? Why do we have this drinking problem? Why can't we cope with life like everyone else?? It's irritating and embarrassing to have to hide away and pretend. Sorry just rambling and annoyed with myself. The four months I spent sober this past year helped me so much. It was constant work though and I was exhausted, I just gave in, tired of working at it all the time, thought I deserved a break. I just ended up ruining myself again. Felt so alone in the clique of AA, lost my sponsor along the way. Not sure where to turn anymore. Sorry, just frustrated and had to get it out. No real rhyme or reason to this post. I need to be greatful, but just looking at others makes me sick with envy and this desperate need to keep up. Ahhhhhhh.
Keeping it simple!
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Surrey, BC
Posts: 3,282
Things that look good on the outside, doesn't mean they are good on the inside. People might have all these things, but I tell you, alot of people are one paycheck away from being homeless or losing everything. Believe me these people have more problems than you think they do.
Nice trips on credit cards, making payments on nice cars, being tied to a mortgage for 20 years. No thanks!
Being an alcoholic and sobering up has actually made me appreciate the little things in life. You can't take the stuff with you when you go.
Nice trips on credit cards, making payments on nice cars, being tied to a mortgage for 20 years. No thanks!
Being an alcoholic and sobering up has actually made me appreciate the little things in life. You can't take the stuff with you when you go.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,465
I used to think everyone else had it all together too. One of the first things I found out in recovery is that no one has a perfect life and everyone has things in their life that they are ashamed of. We're all human.
You don't have to prove anything to anyone, but you can work on being the best person you can be.
You don't have to prove anything to anyone, but you can work on being the best person you can be.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: fort wayne, IN.
Posts: 1,085
I read somewhere one in ten people who try drinking become alcoholics. Knowing that really helped not feel like a complete loser.
Everybody has problems. Everybody has skeletons believe me.
There are happy well adjusted sucessful people out there. Sometimes I think they are God's Chosen but that really isn't true you know.
I think they are people who take care of themselves. I have a hard time loving myself and I have been reckless with my wellbeing.
Like you said in your post about being sober for a while, you were happy but it was work. I think you right about that. Cheer up, you know what to do.
Everybody has problems. Everybody has skeletons believe me.
There are happy well adjusted sucessful people out there. Sometimes I think they are God's Chosen but that really isn't true you know.
I think they are people who take care of themselves. I have a hard time loving myself and I have been reckless with my wellbeing.
Like you said in your post about being sober for a while, you were happy but it was work. I think you right about that. Cheer up, you know what to do.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Keep Trying
Posts: 370
Thanks you guys. You are right. Even if these people are living paycheck to paycheck they must have big pay checks. You have to have money to own nice things and have big debt. I hate feeling inadequate. Plus the drinking just makes me extremely vulernable. Gotta keep trying. Gotta keep trying, keep smiling. Fake it till you make it. I guess that's what everyone is doing. I'm just tired of it. I am grateful. Just tired of comparing and seeing all the excess and trying desperately to keep up. I think it can depend on the environment you are living in. Rant over. I thank you.
Recovering ostrich
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Tampa Bay, Florida
Posts: 2,551
We drink because we are alcoholics. Other eat, sleep, pill, bulimic, overspend, work, exercise (although I wish I could catch that one!), hoard, etc to deal with life. The lucky thing for us? We have places like AA and other recovery programs and even here to go to in order to learn how to stop, heal and handle life.
I grew up dirt poor, lived in a van when I was 12 with my family, on welfare through high school and have always looked with envy at how much people have. I imagine I look like what I envied to someone who lives on the street. Sometimes life still blows and is hard to deal with. Better to deal with it sober.
Good luck. You can do this.
I grew up dirt poor, lived in a van when I was 12 with my family, on welfare through high school and have always looked with envy at how much people have. I imagine I look like what I envied to someone who lives on the street. Sometimes life still blows and is hard to deal with. Better to deal with it sober.
Good luck. You can do this.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Just the sheer volume of people on this website tells me this problem is more widespread than we know from looking at people at the market. Every day 8 or 10 or 12 new people joining and reaching out for a helping hand. 6 or 8 members coming back for another day 1. Dozens who are sober now, but can commiserate. You are hardly alone NewHouse. We're all in this together.
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