AL-Anon Question's
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 57
AL-Anon Question's
I keep reading how this is a life savor.
And have decided if he drink's tonight, I am going to find this Nirvana .
I'm not sure what role I am playing in this,Our finances are separate,so it doesn't effect me monetarily, he drinks only a home, no one ever sees him drink excessively but me.
Never drinks in public, but then he never wants to go anywhere.
How am I enabling ?
Because now instead of saying something, I ignore it.?
And have decided if he drink's tonight, I am going to find this Nirvana .
I'm not sure what role I am playing in this,Our finances are separate,so it doesn't effect me monetarily, he drinks only a home, no one ever sees him drink excessively but me.
Never drinks in public, but then he never wants to go anywhere.
How am I enabling ?
Because now instead of saying something, I ignore it.?
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Memphis, TN
Posts: 2,884
Al-anon has nothing to do with enabling him or not enabling him, in fact it doesn't have anything to do with him at all.
It is all about us. I know now that I was deeply effected by my wife's drinking. I was slowly being eaten alive from the inside, I hated my life, my marriage, my job, in fact I hated everything. I was filled with anger and rage at her behavior. I was a mess.
What I got out of Alanon is a set of tools back that let me get my life back. I learned how to make sane choices and to focus on myself and begin my own recovery process of healing. It was great.
Whether he drinks or not tonight I recommend that you go. If your life was good you would not have searched out and started posting on a forum for friends and family of alcoholics. You have nothing to lose but your suffering.
Your friend,
It is all about us. I know now that I was deeply effected by my wife's drinking. I was slowly being eaten alive from the inside, I hated my life, my marriage, my job, in fact I hated everything. I was filled with anger and rage at her behavior. I was a mess.
What I got out of Alanon is a set of tools back that let me get my life back. I learned how to make sane choices and to focus on myself and begin my own recovery process of healing. It was great.
Whether he drinks or not tonight I recommend that you go. If your life was good you would not have searched out and started posting on a forum for friends and family of alcoholics. You have nothing to lose but your suffering.
Your friend,
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 57
My life is good, except for the part with him,( kinda laughing) when he drinks and doesn't drink now because I'm sure he is having withdrawal.
Maybe I'm too new into this to be on the path of hating everything, I could see how It could come to that easily though.
It dawned on me a week ago when he said he fell asleep on the bathroom floor, after drinking that there must be a problem here with him.
Thanks Mike
Maybe I'm too new into this to be on the path of hating everything, I could see how It could come to that easily though.
It dawned on me a week ago when he said he fell asleep on the bathroom floor, after drinking that there must be a problem here with him.
Thanks Mike
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
And, just a heads-up, Al-Anon doesn't promise "Nirvana".
As Mike said, it's basically a way of living that makes it possible to have healthy relationships with yourself, with your Higher Power, and with other people. It's a great recipe for living under any conditions.
Hope you will go--you are guaranteed to meet some awesome people who really GET what you are dealing with.
As Mike said, it's basically a way of living that makes it possible to have healthy relationships with yourself, with your Higher Power, and with other people. It's a great recipe for living under any conditions.
Hope you will go--you are guaranteed to meet some awesome people who really GET what you are dealing with.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Right here, right now!
Posts: 3,424
I have learned in Al-Anon that it was not about enabling or not.
For me it was about what I was NOT doing. I was not taking care of me or in any way keeping me as important in my own life.
For me it was about what I was NOT doing. I was not taking care of me or in any way keeping me as important in my own life.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 57
I Fully understand its not Nirvana, that was more tongue in cheek.
Just trying to get a feel what's it all about, Since its not about them directly, I suppose it is indirectly.
Either Way I will be going of course with out ABF's knowledge
Just trying to get a feel what's it all about, Since its not about them directly, I suppose it is indirectly.
Either Way I will be going of course with out ABF's knowledge
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
