pleasehelpus

Hi, my ex fiance has an addiction to pain medication. He is also selling his pills. I also was addicted to them when he started giving them to me but I eventually asked for help to quit from my family and have been clean since November 2011. I had to throw my fiance out of my house after I caught him trying to steal my suboxone that my doctor had prescribed to me to help with my addiction. We also have a son who is not yet two years old. He is wanting me to allow our son to come to his apartment to visit but I know he is dealing drugs out of the apartment and has been in a physical fight with one of his 'customers' and I do NOT want to subject my son to that kind of home enviroment. I finally called his doctor and informed him that my ex has been abusing his prescriptions (he gets percocet 10s and klonopin) The doctor didn't seem to care about that so I informed him that he is also selling his prescriptions. His doctor then told me he would talk to my ex about it (without mentioning where he heard it) and start reducing his prescription until he no longer recieved them. But, the next time my ex went in, the doctor apparently did nothing. He ended up with his usual amount and did not mention anything about a conversation with his doctor. I KNOW my ex would have called me the second he heard that the doctor had been told about it so I just know that his doctor did nothing about it. I actually have physical proof that he is selling the prescriptions due to a phone conversation I recorded of him calling me while high and telling me about making a deal to sell a few pills and then have the person come to his apartment to buy a bunch more. My questions are... what can I do now!? I NEED him to stop, for the sake of his son if not his own life. What should I do about this doctor who doesn't seem to care? Please help!

soberclover

Your post indicates you are experienced with this yourself as far as changing your life for the better. You already know that YOU cannot make him stop. I respect the fact that you are making changes in your life for you as well as your son. I suggest you reach out to a Nar-Anon group in your area or look up information on this support group on-line. Keep up the good work you are doing for yourself and your son!

ACT10Npack

General his doctor is going on he say, she say. If the doctor thinks he is abusing or he comes clean to his doctor about his addiction then there is nothing the doctor can do. The doctor may also think your calling him to make your ex look bad if you are going to through legal battle with your son.

It may be a good time to call your ex and talk about this face to face. Not much else you can do any this and unless he has a criminal record with drugs then there is little legal way to keep your sin away from him.

Dee74

hi and welcome pleasehelpus

The bald fact is it's impossible to make someone stop if they don't want to.
Your responsibility is to yourself and your sons safety and well being first and foremost I think.

If this man is a threat to that in anyway then you have some hard thinking to do,pleasehelpus.

I moved your post here to our Family and Friends forum - I think you'll benefit from the experience of those who've been in similar situations.

best wishes

D

zoso77

The longer you "NEED" him to stop, the worse you will become. You have zero control over his addiction, just like no one had control over your addiction. The difference is, to your credit, you sought help and slowly began your way back to health and sanity.

Your ex has to want to recover for himself.

And until then, do you what you to do to protect yourself and your child.

Best,
ZoSo

supportforme

I'm so sorry you are going through this. The only advice I have is to focus on keeping you and your baby safe. You can't control or rationalize what he or his doc are doing. You can control you and your baby's future. If he is in active addiction, he is a danger to you and your child. Take care of you and your baby - you deserve it. This is a progressive disease that will take all down if you allow it to. I wish you all the best.

laurie6781

Since his apartment is not a 'safe' place for your son, it is your prerogative to go
family court to get 'Supervised Visitation' ordered by the court. That means that
someone approved to do so, usually by CPS will supervise all meetings of your
son with his father in a neutral place. Usually the person who has to be supervised
pays for this service.

You cannot get him to change, only he can do that when he reaches his own bottom.
You can continue to work on you and become a self-sufficient, self supporting single
mom.

Congratulations on your clean time.!!!! We are here for you so please keep posting
and let us know how you are doing as we do care. Also feel free to post to vent
...................... rant, rave, scream, cry, and yes even laugh. We are walking
with you in spirit.

Love and hugs,

dollydo

Welcome, do what you need to do to protect your child. See an attorney, most give free consultation, find out what you need to do to secure supervised visitation.

As for the rest, there is nothing you can do to help your ex. He will continue to use until he
is ready to quit and seek recovery, some never do.

Take some time to read the stickeys at the top of this forum and cynical one's blogs, lots of helpful information at your fingertips.