Sobriety has helped me love better by: ___________
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: East Coast, The States
Posts: 12,162
Sobriety has helped me love better by: ___________
How has sobriety helped you love others better?
For example, sobriety over time have stopped me from being quite so self centered. I don't take things as personally that others do or say. Sobriety allows me to be more compassionate and open. I don't put up as many obstacles and defenses now. And I am better at seeing others defenses for what they are. It is a start.
What about you? How has sobriety helped you show or feel love more than before?
For example, sobriety over time have stopped me from being quite so self centered. I don't take things as personally that others do or say. Sobriety allows me to be more compassionate and open. I don't put up as many obstacles and defenses now. And I am better at seeing others defenses for what they are. It is a start.
What about you? How has sobriety helped you show or feel love more than before?
now's the time
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,181
Valentine's Day is my sobriety date. 
Sobriety has helped me love better because it's freed up that one-third of my brainpower that was constantly either dealing with my hangover, figuring out how to get another drink, lying about my drinking, or carefully regulating my behavior to hide how drunk I was. A lot of that regained thinking just naturally goes towards the people in my life, without my even consciously planning it.
Sobriety has helped me love better because it's freed up that one-third of my brainpower that was constantly either dealing with my hangover, figuring out how to get another drink, lying about my drinking, or carefully regulating my behavior to hide how drunk I was. A lot of that regained thinking just naturally goes towards the people in my life, without my even consciously planning it.
Just a Sober ******* Now
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: S.IN
Posts: 150
Heck, I've just now came to the clarity that I can love someone without being in love with them... Meaning, I can care deeply for someone, and that's all that matters. I don't have to marry them. They don't have to love me. But it's OK to just have feelings and not proceed through life as a robot!
Night owl
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Orion spur of the Milky Way galaxy
Posts: 2,050
By helping me be more present for/with those I love, including my feline family. When I was using I didn't want to spend much time with my friends because I felt like they were getting in the way of me using. Or I was constantly manufacturing excuses to leave the room and go use. Now I am present and more relaxed in my interactions.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Like you said, EQ, I think it starts with being OK with the person I see in the mirror. I found it hard to love someone else when I didn't like myself.
And of course it helps that my life is no longer a sham.
Toward the end, I couldn't answer a question as simple as "How are you?" without the answer feeling like a lie. That can get in the way of intimacy, lol...
I felt love just as intensely then as now. I didn't love my daughter any less when I was drinking. Yet when I was with her, part of me was often somewhere else, regretting the night before, plotting the night ahead.
Now when I spend sometime with someone, it's really me, and I'm actually there.
And of course it helps that my life is no longer a sham.
Toward the end, I couldn't answer a question as simple as "How are you?" without the answer feeling like a lie. That can get in the way of intimacy, lol...I felt love just as intensely then as now. I didn't love my daughter any less when I was drinking. Yet when I was with her, part of me was often somewhere else, regretting the night before, plotting the night ahead.
Now when I spend sometime with someone, it's really me, and I'm actually there.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Sobriety forced me to experience my own thoughts and feelings, this allowed me to understand my own thoughts and feelings. This understanding allows me to share my thoughts and feelings without fear or hesitation.
These benefits of sobriety are all pretty new to me, but it's also very exciting. I knew I had to quit to stop the negative consequences of chronic alcohol use. Now I want to stay stopped to keep the positive consequences of sobriety rolling in.
These benefits of sobriety are all pretty new to me, but it's also very exciting. I knew I had to quit to stop the negative consequences of chronic alcohol use. Now I want to stay stopped to keep the positive consequences of sobriety rolling in.
Realising my life
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Dorset, England
Posts: 3,656
Sobriety has helped me to love better by helping me to see how selfish I was being when I drank and for helping me to be much more present in the moment.
And my partner says that now that I've stopped drinking I am far more alive and my eyes sparkle
And my partner says that now that I've stopped drinking I am far more alive and my eyes sparkle
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 26
I don't know that it is possible to love people "better" or "worse" drinking or not drinking. Love is love.
It is how I treat people that demonstrates my love and respect for them today. Even my ability to tolerate what I could never before.
Today I live the Program. I treat the people I love like I love them. Sometimes I don't do so good. I had to make an apology to my daughter a little earlier. I was so angry and frustrated with situations that do not necessarily include her that I didn't demonstrate my love for her -- I was disrespectful and inconsiderate. Steps taught me how to evaluate my behavior honestly with another person much of the time and then do something about the situation.
It is how I treat people that demonstrates my love and respect for them today. Even my ability to tolerate what I could never before.
Today I live the Program. I treat the people I love like I love them. Sometimes I don't do so good. I had to make an apology to my daughter a little earlier. I was so angry and frustrated with situations that do not necessarily include her that I didn't demonstrate my love for her -- I was disrespectful and inconsiderate. Steps taught me how to evaluate my behavior honestly with another person much of the time and then do something about the situation.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 183
I am able, and just as importantly willing, to listen to people now. Both I and other people know that I will remember the conversation. My husband now trusts me to keep his confidence. I am also better able to see people for who they really are, now that I'm actually paying attention. It's been quite an eye opener.
pray for strength
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New England
Posts: 2,414
Sobriety has helped me love better by reminding me that I am a mere carbon shaving in the vastness that is Life.
[In my deepest voice]: "Like sands in the hourglass...so are the days of our lives...".
[In my deepest voice]: "Like sands in the hourglass...so are the days of our lives...".
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