bismuth

I am failing every 2-3 days in drinking. Planning to go to AA but ashamed and worried that my girlfriend will find out that I still have a problem--planning to go during the day since we talk at night (long-distance relationship). Almost got kicked out of school and worried that problems may surface again in that regard. Anyway, I need support; you guys on SR are great!

bismuth

Forgot to mention that I am going to therapy 3x a week for depression but scared to disclose to therapist too. I

Anna

Hi,

I really think you should talk about your drinking with your therapist. Alcohol is a depressant and it could be that you will feel better if you stop drinking. At any rate, he/she can help you to get through this.

bismuth

I have lied about it several times to therapist (sobriety) and feel unethical and shamed.

hypochondriac

I really feel for your situation Bismuth, it was very similar to mine a few years ago. My partner at the time didn't really even know I drank. I never wanted to come clean and thought I could sort it out myself but I just got caught in this cycle of not drinking much at the weekends when I was with my partner and completely overdoing in in the week. I was desperate to quit at the time and even spoke to a few doctors and a couple of counsellors I saw briefly about it. It was years til I finally quit though.

I think it would be good to tell your therapist too, and maybe even your girlfriend... I didn't tell anyone until after I had quit for a few months but I think that honesty helped my recovery. Also, I think if I was with someone I would want them to be honest with me about something like this. I could imagine it could become complicated if you're secretly going to meetings... if your not ready for that though telling your therapist is a great first step. Remember anything you say will be confidential x

Dee74

Hi Bismuth

I've been in this cycle too.
I think the number one most important thing to do is...something.

Go to AA, talk to therapist...don't think about it...I could waste months that way

If you want change, make changes

D

Hevyn

Hi bismuth. I hope you'll open up and be completely honest with your therapist. There's no need for shame. You're doing the right thing by taking action to try and get well. Be proud of yourself for that.

DIYman

Hi Bismuth,

I think after you tell someone you will feel a lot less alone with this. I think your therapist is the best person to tell. Could you describe why you are afraid of telling her/him?

Carlotta

Just my five cents, you pay your therapist good money to help you but I feel that unless you are being 100 percent honest with him/her, they really cannot help you that much and you can as well throw your $$ out of the window (upon reflection just moneygram it to me instead LOL).
Anyway, congrats on your decision to quit. I am startng my journey myself but SR has been a great support and I hope it helps you as much as it helps me.

bismuth

My therapist would want me to go into sober living, which is not conductive to studying. I will consider telling her, but I am scared right now.

Dee74

I've not been in sober living - have you?

Your therapist cannot make you do anything.
She also can't really hope to help you if you not giving her the full story, bismuth.

D

needtostop1

Bismuth,
I have been going through the same thing for months now (not telling my partner and hiding it real well...and we live together), but I woke up this morning, missed work and realized I needed to come clean. Because I have both an alcohol problem and an eating disorder, its come to a point where I thought she'd find me dead in the house one day. I told her. we cried, she held me and said we would get throughthis together. I would start with your therapist and I know its scary, but you can do this!!! we are here for you, too!! much peace!

needtostop1

Therapist cannot force the issue unless you are posing an immediate danger to yourself or others, i think.

bismuth

Thanks, everyone. I will come clean with the therapist. I want to go to AA anyway so she can't say I am doing nothing. I still am not ready to lose my girlfriend over this issue.

YouRmySunshine

My guess is, she already knows~ We all think we are sneaky & can hide all kinds of things when we are drinking! Funny thing is most close to us if they dont point it out, its because they choose not to, not because we are such good actors!

Do what is best to fix you right now, I bet she would appreciate that more!

bismuth

I am sure my girlfriend knows--she and I have long conversations which I don't remember because I am drunk. She is enabling me and I feel bad about that.