jakec

I am so absolutely disgusted and ashamed of the delusion that is my life.

In the past week I've been hospitalized twice from drug-related incidents..

The first hospitalization was due to an overdose of Dextromethorphan.

The second was a combination of not taking my medication for 2 days and coming down off of IV Heroin, which led to a HORRIBLE emotional breakdown and I ended up getting taken to the psychiatric unit, where I stayed for 2 days..suffering, crying, and screaming..they didn't give me my meds that I desperately need(Abilify) until they discharged me yesterday afternoon..

Right now I am pretty much stable, and I have an appointment with my drug counselor to set up IMMEDIATE in-patient care..

I think I can handle rehab this time..actually I KNOW I can.. now that I am finally on the right medication for Aspergers/Anxiety/Depression/ADHD.

My life is spiraling downhill so fast... I need help.. today I have 4 days clean.

I feel so alone, has anyone here gone through something similar? Or can anyone please offer some advice or words of wisdom? It would be much appreciated.

-Jake C.

SasaKay

Not to give away too much info, but I have been through something similar. Looking back on it, the whole experience should have been an eye-opener but I acted like a complete brat and fought everyone, which didn't help the cause. When all the dust settled, I went into therapy and it actually helped because, for once, I stopped fighting the people who were trying to help me and started helping myself.
Good luck to you. Stay strong and I hope it gets better.

Coldfusion

Jake--

I hope you have made arrangements for rehab. As you learned in the hospital, it is important that your caregivers know you have a dual diagnosis.

What Treatment Can provide
(from Lake Chelan Community Hospital, Washington)

1. Treatment can help you through withdrawal

a. Provide health monitoring by medical staff
b. Provide support and encouragement by peers and staff
c. Provide therapeutic environment by Chemical Dependency Counselors
d. Provide assistance from support staff

2. Treatment can offer hope

a. I can change
b. I can have personal empowerment
c. I can participate in my recovery
d. I can communicate honestly in my relationships

3. Treatment can offer a forum in which to interact with other addicts/alcoholics

a. I am not alone
b. I am not bad
c. I have a disease
d. Others have it too
e. I can talk and listen freely with my peer group and counselors

5. Treatment can teach alternative methods and coping skills

a. I can learn to communicate my needs.
b. I can talk through my problems
c. I can identify and own my feelings
d. I can be individual and interdependent
e. I can learn to think of alternatives rather than compulsively react
f. I can have choices and evaluate consequences of those choices

6. Treatment provides a supportive environment

a. I am safe
b. Therapists, counselors, doctors and nurses are supportive of my recovery
c. My family can receive help through the family program
d. There are role models of recovery and mentors in treatment

Variables that affect Success:

• Length of addiction
• Physical Damagae
• Health
• Followup program
• Utilization of existing support systems following treatment such as therapy, religious affiliations, sober activities, 12-step program with sponsor and home group.
• Having child care if needed
• A supportive S/O or spouse
• Enlisting support from neighbors, employer, trusted co-workers, schoolmates, and non-addict friends

Hevyn

Jake - I just want to send you some love and to say we believe in you. You are not alone. We know you can make it out of this and have a great life. Here's hoping you get to rehab right away. Our thoughts will be with you.

Anna

Hi Jake,

We do understand how hard this is.

Know for sure that you can do this and you can have the life you want to have. I'm glad you're taking the steps you need to take.

2granddaughters

The only advice I can give you is "Stay at the in-patient rehab !! Don't run !!"

It will likely be the thing that saves your life.

I know. It saved mine.

All the best.

Bob R

grandma12

No advice but sending huggs, take care.

Dee74

my advice would be grab whatever is offered as help with both hands

Thinking of you Jake - best wishes.

AM9610

Hang in there jakec. Sending thoughts, positive energy, love, anything that will help to pull you through!

renaldo

You betcha. I got out of detox and am on a waiting list to get into rehab. It's not happening quickly because I'm not Robin Williams.

In other words, I'm going for the cheapest place available, hence the wait. They're booked.

And you are not alone by a long shot. Keep chiming in here and you will find tons of people who have gone through what you're going through.

It may not happen immediately, but patience is a virtue. If you stick around for a month, I don't think you'll be disappointed.

vegibean

jakec, I hope you get the rehab, it will probably be the best thing, stick to it though, don't leave no matter what and remember IT IS FOR YOU!!!

I can relate. I drove myself to the hospital with all of my bottles of pills after drinking a ton of wine and eating the pills because I didn't want to die, I woke up the next morning with a ride via the ambulance to the psych hospital to deal with my Major Depression for a week. After that I spent almost a month in a detox/30 day place until I was able to enter a rehab program just for women where I stayed for almost 10 months until I was able to find myself again. I can't even imagine the mess I was as I was so messed up from mostly alcohol, but whatever drugs I was consuming too.

If I can come back from that hell, so can you. My best to you jakec, grab this opportunity and go!!

soberclover

You aren't alone in this journey; we have all been through this in one way or another as we struggled to get clean and sober. Keep reaching out and chase getting help like you would chase your drug. When I got clean I found the support through Narcotics Anonymous saved my life. Thinking of you!!

renaldo

John Lennon wrote the song "Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except for Me and My Monkey" for a reason.

Acknowledge the monkey now that you've seen it dry-humping your back. It was there all the time, but it takes some of us a while to turn around and see what was obvious.

Good luck with the rehab, and if you keep coming back here, you will have every assurance that you are indeed not alone.

SophieB

Do what you have to do to get to rehab....I was at a treatment center over 6 months ago and I truly believe it saved my life. After many failed attempts to do it on my own it wasn't going to happen.

And treatment centers are good. There are people around to help you and talk to and get you on the right track 24/7. Great thing to do not a bad thing.

Good luck

mydee19

Hi Jake,

Take whatever help you can get and do what is best for you... Sending you lots of warm hugs!

jakec

Thank you all for the support!

I have 6 days clean and I'm leaving for rehab on monday (=

Hevyn

That's wonderful news, Jake. You're life is about to change. You're doing the best possible thing for yourself.

YouRmySunshine

Awesome, stay strong & stay sober this weekend & let your higher power lead you through the doors of rehab & to you next steps!

Be proud of all your putting into this.

Kat60

Good for you Jake! Hang tough this weekend! You have made a great decision and it is a worthy investment in YOU!!

SophieB

Whoo Hoo Jakec.... I am so happy for you. Rehab on Monday.. That is so great.

Your life is fixing on getting better and making more sense.

Please keep posting when you can.. Through the weekend and then when your back.

Hugs and tons of Love and prayers sent your way.