Fear, Sobriety and Castaway
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Fear, Sobriety and Castaway
I was watching the movie Castaway last night – the one with Tom Hanks. The movie really hit home for me. Hanks winds up stranded on an island in the middle of the Pacific. The life he knew is waaaay out there and the only way he can get to it is to get off the island.
That’s like me being stuck in alcoholic land. Pretty much the real life is out there somewhere.
There he stays for years – just hanging on. Desperation takes over and he finally starts trying to get off the island.
That’s like me finally trying something to quit drinking. Like realizing it’s only going to get worse unless I get off this island. So, in desperation I’m trying SR, AA and reading books I’ve found here.
At first he tries to get off with a little raft but the waves force him back. That’s like me relapsing. I’ll try, then relapse, then try again.
Finally he puts a sail on the raft and it carries him past the waves. Out to the wide Pacific and Heaven knows where. Watching the movie I realized he just said, “Screw it – I’d rather die out there trying to get to a life than die alone here on this island.”
Eventually he does make it back home. Even then his journey is far from over.
Me – I’ve just put the sail on the raft and I’m trying to get past those waves.
Trying different ways to get clear is scary thing.
That's the fear.
But I know I can't stay on alcohol island.
That’s like me being stuck in alcoholic land. Pretty much the real life is out there somewhere.
There he stays for years – just hanging on. Desperation takes over and he finally starts trying to get off the island.
That’s like me finally trying something to quit drinking. Like realizing it’s only going to get worse unless I get off this island. So, in desperation I’m trying SR, AA and reading books I’ve found here.
At first he tries to get off with a little raft but the waves force him back. That’s like me relapsing. I’ll try, then relapse, then try again.
Finally he puts a sail on the raft and it carries him past the waves. Out to the wide Pacific and Heaven knows where. Watching the movie I realized he just said, “Screw it – I’d rather die out there trying to get to a life than die alone here on this island.”
Eventually he does make it back home. Even then his journey is far from over.
Me – I’ve just put the sail on the raft and I’m trying to get past those waves.
Trying different ways to get clear is scary thing.
That's the fear.
But I know I can't stay on alcohol island.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 100
I was happy to see this post because I had the exact same thoughts about the movie Castaway. I have found in early sobriety that I can (and do) make many alcohol analogies and I remember chuckling to myself when I thought about this one - but it is very appropriate.
I too thought about how the daunting, crashing waves were like the first days, with the withdrawals, insomnia and feeling that it is just insurmountable. Still, Hanks' character ultimately realized that he had to break through this if he wanted even a chance at freedom. The sail that he fashioned could be new recovery tools that we must use to achieve the sobriety that has eluded us. And still even as we escape, we look back, even wistfully at times, to that horrible place that nearly destroyed us, yet was all we knew for so long.
For me, I also identified with Hanks' character's realization that others, including his true love, had moved on while he was stuck on that island. The wreckage of my past is great, and I have had a difficult time facing the reality that my old life is gone - there is no suspended animation for others while we are on the island.
I found hope in the end, I too find myself at a crossroads, and want to believe that a new life awaits.
I too thought about how the daunting, crashing waves were like the first days, with the withdrawals, insomnia and feeling that it is just insurmountable. Still, Hanks' character ultimately realized that he had to break through this if he wanted even a chance at freedom. The sail that he fashioned could be new recovery tools that we must use to achieve the sobriety that has eluded us. And still even as we escape, we look back, even wistfully at times, to that horrible place that nearly destroyed us, yet was all we knew for so long.
For me, I also identified with Hanks' character's realization that others, including his true love, had moved on while he was stuck on that island. The wreckage of my past is great, and I have had a difficult time facing the reality that my old life is gone - there is no suspended animation for others while we are on the island.
I found hope in the end, I too find myself at a crossroads, and want to believe that a new life awaits.
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