yorkshire

Hello....

Today I am all out of sorts and obsessing about contacting my (ex ) in recovery friend. Sundays were days we would often spend hours communicating and today is the1st Sunday in almost 8 months that I haven't spoken to him. I find my self wondering if he is pay and how he is doing. I am trying to keep busy and focus on other things but I worry ......I feel like I have this big hole and that I am missing some part of me ( classic codependent I guess?) I actually found myself about to look in my friends and family list online for his number as I deleted it from my phone, just one quick text couldn't harm ? Except if he didn't text back , I know I would be gutted so why do that to myself?

I attended my first CoDA meeting last night which was amazing. They invited me out for dinner afterward and I found it so reassuring to hear that I was not the only one who has made poor choices and put myself last in order to feel some sort of validation. Tomorrow evening I will check out Al- Anon....

This'll get easier right? .......

jessiec

It sounds like you are making major strides forward! And it sounds like you already know what is best for you (deleting the number a while back, knowing it could hurt *more* if you dont't hear back). I'd just encourage you to keep your streak going and keep focused on your well-being!