forgiveness? compassion? acceptance?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 559
forgiveness? compassion? acceptance?
My son and I haven't heard from my AX since Nov. 5. It appears he has even moved with no notification. So far behind on child support his ID is suspended. Being that he is an active addict, this is all for the best. Dealing with him was dreadful. Now, we can move on and have peace. It is painful, but we are finding happiness. Moving on.
Well, I and my son were not ready to talk about it until today. We never discussed him. My son is 4. But, today we were both ready. I told him that his father is sick and is making bad choices, but loves him. I teared up and told him that I love him (my x) too and miss him too. At that moment I realized, wow, I still love the *******! It was a touching discussion we had. I felt like we got somewhere. I told him that I am going to put up some pictures of daddy and start telling him stories of his father. I want him to know that we do love each other and he came from a good man. It was a moment that just seemed like another step in healing for both of us. It felt right.
Later, while I was rocking him, I asked if he wanted to say a prayer for daddy, and he did. He prayed that daddy was alright. It was so touching.
The anger is slowly disappearing. I am now feeling sympathy. Maybe not quite compassion or empathy, but baby steps. Of course this is said, but my boundries with him are like fort knox!!!!!
Is this forgiveness? I wouldn't say that. But, I have accepted. Compassion...nope. But we are healing. It has been almost 2 years since we were abandoned.
Well, I and my son were not ready to talk about it until today. We never discussed him. My son is 4. But, today we were both ready. I told him that his father is sick and is making bad choices, but loves him. I teared up and told him that I love him (my x) too and miss him too. At that moment I realized, wow, I still love the *******! It was a touching discussion we had. I felt like we got somewhere. I told him that I am going to put up some pictures of daddy and start telling him stories of his father. I want him to know that we do love each other and he came from a good man. It was a moment that just seemed like another step in healing for both of us. It felt right.
Later, while I was rocking him, I asked if he wanted to say a prayer for daddy, and he did. He prayed that daddy was alright. It was so touching.
The anger is slowly disappearing. I am now feeling sympathy. Maybe not quite compassion or empathy, but baby steps. Of course this is said, but my boundries with him are like fort knox!!!!!
Is this forgiveness? I wouldn't say that. But, I have accepted. Compassion...nope. But we are healing. It has been almost 2 years since we were abandoned.
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
Sounds like a very healing day for both you and your son. Your son is very lucky to have such a loving, caring, sensitive mother. Some day, I pray all your pain will be a memory and you meet a wonderful new man to share your new dreams with and be the man (father figure) your son deserves to have in his life. When you are ready, of course. My prayers are with all of you!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
