NO- Is a complete sentence
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Gulf Coast, Florida USA
Posts: 5,731
NO- Is a complete sentence
I was at a meeting last night and the topic was how do deal with people who are drinking. How do you tell them it makes you uncomfortable .
Today recovery is number one in my life. Without it I am
a lost soul facing all kinds of tragic conequences .
For many of us, the most difficult word to say is one of the shortest and easiest in the vocabulary: No. Go ahead, say it aloud: No.
If I am invited somewhere where my recovery could be jeopardized. I just say No. No Thank You! I don't have to offer anyone an explanation on why I choose not to attend .
I just choose not to attend .
No - simple to pronounce, hard to say. I am afraid people won't like me, or I feel guilty.I may believe that as a good employee, child, parent, spouse,or friend that I don't have the right to say no , or that I have to make excuses .
The problem is, if I don't learn to say No, I stop liking myself because I know I am lying and doing something I really don't want to do then I form a resentment towards the other person .
I have choices today of what I am and am not to be exposed to . I don't have to put myself in a uncomfortable situation .
If I am offered a drink , I say No!! No explanations I am just not drinking .
When do we say no? When No is what we really mean.
When we learn to say No, we stop lying. People can trust us, and we can trust ourselves. All sorts of good things happen when we start saying what we mean .
If were scared to say no, we can buy some time. We can say "I'll get back to you" until we muster up the courage to say No.
When we say No when we mean it and Yes when we mean it, we are sticking to our own personal convictions .
When we can say No, we can say yes to the good. Our no's and our yes's begin to be taken seriously. We gain control of ourselves. And we learn a secret: No isn't really that hard to say.
Today, I will say No if that is what I mean. Without any guilt or explanations.
Today recovery is number one in my life. Without it I am
a lost soul facing all kinds of tragic conequences .
For many of us, the most difficult word to say is one of the shortest and easiest in the vocabulary: No. Go ahead, say it aloud: No.
If I am invited somewhere where my recovery could be jeopardized. I just say No. No Thank You! I don't have to offer anyone an explanation on why I choose not to attend .
I just choose not to attend .
No - simple to pronounce, hard to say. I am afraid people won't like me, or I feel guilty.I may believe that as a good employee, child, parent, spouse,or friend that I don't have the right to say no , or that I have to make excuses .
The problem is, if I don't learn to say No, I stop liking myself because I know I am lying and doing something I really don't want to do then I form a resentment towards the other person .
I have choices today of what I am and am not to be exposed to . I don't have to put myself in a uncomfortable situation .
If I am offered a drink , I say No!! No explanations I am just not drinking .
When do we say no? When No is what we really mean.
When we learn to say No, we stop lying. People can trust us, and we can trust ourselves. All sorts of good things happen when we start saying what we mean .
If were scared to say no, we can buy some time. We can say "I'll get back to you" until we muster up the courage to say No.
When we say No when we mean it and Yes when we mean it, we are sticking to our own personal convictions .
When we can say No, we can say yes to the good. Our no's and our yes's begin to be taken seriously. We gain control of ourselves. And we learn a secret: No isn't really that hard to say.
Today, I will say No if that is what I mean. Without any guilt or explanations.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
great post,thank you.My brother asked me to go to the pub with him this week as not seen him much recently and he wanted me to meet someone. I said no firmly and meant it. He didn't ask again as I must have said it with conviction. Think it gets easier with practice. I'm not used to putting my feelings first-it feels good 
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: London
Posts: 1,010
No is a complete sentence and works fine for me when I'm at a standing event, however this weekend I went out for a perfectly pleasant meal with 5 old and dear friends. I turned down sharing the wine with them (they are normal drinkers) and offered no explanation. It was not easy to get away with and I had to offer up an excuse.
In a newcomers forum I go against the grain and tell what worked for me in the beginning until I got to the point where it wasn't the whole focus of my being.
I told white lies, I snuck away early, I said I was driving, I said I was on antibiotics. I even hinted at one event that my lemonade was a hard drink.
It's what you have to do in the early days when you feel that all eyes are on you. As you go along you learn to realise that no-one gives two hoots if you're drinking or not.
That's what I did anyway. I figured I lied enough whilst drinking so what was a few more for a couple of months whilst I got the hard part under my belt!
To any newcomers reading this: do and say what you have to to stay sober. It may mean missing out socially in the beginning. But ultimately No works fine in the majority of settings.
S x
In a newcomers forum I go against the grain and tell what worked for me in the beginning until I got to the point where it wasn't the whole focus of my being.
I told white lies, I snuck away early, I said I was driving, I said I was on antibiotics. I even hinted at one event that my lemonade was a hard drink.
It's what you have to do in the early days when you feel that all eyes are on you. As you go along you learn to realise that no-one gives two hoots if you're drinking or not.
That's what I did anyway. I figured I lied enough whilst drinking so what was a few more for a couple of months whilst I got the hard part under my belt!
To any newcomers reading this: do and say what you have to to stay sober. It may mean missing out socially in the beginning. But ultimately No works fine in the majority of settings.
S x
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
No - simple to pronounce, hard to say. I am afraid people won't like me, or I feel guilty.I may believe that as a good employee, child, parent, spouse,or friend that I don't have the right to say no , or that I have to make excuses .
The problem is, if I don't learn to say No, I stop liking myself because I know I am lying and doing something I really don't want to do then I form a resentment towards the other person .
The problem is, if I don't learn to say No, I stop liking myself because I know I am lying and doing something I really don't want to do then I form a resentment towards the other person .
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Gulf Coast, Florida USA
Posts: 5,731
;)
Originally Posted by Sazzle 
No is a complete sentence and works fine for me when I'm at a standing event, however this weekend I went out for a perfectly pleasant meal with 5 old and dear friends. I turned down sharing the wine with them (they are normal drinkers) and offered no explanation. It was not easy to get away with and I had to offer up an excuse.
In a newcomers forum I go against the grain and tell what worked for me in the beginning until I got to the point where it wasn't the whole focus of my being.
I told white lies, I snuck away early, I said I was driving, I said I was on antibiotics. I even hinted at one event that my lemonade was a hard drink.
It's what you have to do in the early days when you feel that all eyes are on you. As you go along you learn to realise that no-one gives two hoots if you're drinking or not.
That's what I did anyway. I figured I lied enough whilst drinking so what was a few more for a couple of months whilst I got the hard part under my belt!
To any newcomers reading this: do and say what you have to to stay sober. It may mean missing out socially in the beginning. But ultimately No works fine in the majority of settings.
S x
In a newcomers forum I go against the grain and tell what worked for me in the beginning until I got to the point where it wasn't the whole focus of my being.
I told white lies, I snuck away early, I said I was driving, I said I was on antibiotics. I even hinted at one event that my lemonade was a hard drink.
It's what you have to do in the early days when you feel that all eyes are on you. As you go along you learn to realise that no-one gives two hoots if you're drinking or not.
That's what I did anyway. I figured I lied enough whilst drinking so what was a few more for a couple of months whilst I got the hard part under my belt!
To any newcomers reading this: do and say what you have to to stay sober. It may mean missing out socially in the beginning. But ultimately No works fine in the majority of settings.
S x
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Western New York
Posts: 375
No - simple to pronounce, hard to say. I am afraid people won't like me, or I feel guilty.I may believe that as a good employee, child, parent, spouse,or friend that I don't have the right to say no , or that I have to make excuses .
This part in particular is very true for me. I definitely struggle with guilt issues. This was a great post for me to read, and definitely something I need to work on. Thank you!
This part in particular is very true for me. I definitely struggle with guilt issues. This was a great post for me to read, and definitely something I need to work on. Thank you!
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 27
I like this. I am always afraid to say no to people. Half the time I don't even know why. I think I just want people to like me or I'm afraid of disappointing them...and it's a totally baseless fear. I'm only on day 2 now so I'll need to work work on my fear so saying no.
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 603
Well, if you say "no thanks" that should do it, and no further questions should arise. Otherwise you may be hanging with people who don't have your best interests in mind.
I used to go to work Xmas parties and there was a guy who didn't drink. No one ever mentioned it or looked askance at him for not drinking. In his case it was no big whoop, but every work environment is different.
He said, "I rather prefer to watch other people get drunk," and no one minded that in the slightest.
Perhaps we over-conflate these things in our minds as to what degree people care whether we drink or not. It all depends on the crowd you hang with.
I used to go to work Xmas parties and there was a guy who didn't drink. No one ever mentioned it or looked askance at him for not drinking. In his case it was no big whoop, but every work environment is different.
He said, "I rather prefer to watch other people get drunk," and no one minded that in the slightest.
Perhaps we over-conflate these things in our minds as to what degree people care whether we drink or not. It all depends on the crowd you hang with.
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 603
Originally Posted by deeker
Yah I was just gonna say we think everyone's eyes are on us because we are so self centered.
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Bklyn. NY
Posts: 1,859
Technically speaking, is no really a complete sentence? Doesn't a complete sentence have to have a subject and verb. Not looking for trouble here, nor making a snarky comment. Just honestly wondering.
And no works for me as a complete sentence. Often.
Not looking for trouble here, nor making a snarky comment. Just honestly wondering.And no works for me as a complete sentence. Often.
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 603
Originally Posted by Joe Nerv
Technically speaking, is no really a complete sentence? Doesn't a complete sentence have to have a subject and verb. Not looking for trouble here, nor making a snarky comment. Just honestly wondering.
And no works for me as a complete sentence. Often.
Not looking for trouble here, nor making a snarky comment. Just honestly wondering.And no works for me as a complete sentence. Often.
But I think that "no" should be followed by "thanks," and if a question arises you can go from there.
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