Help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: auburn,wa
Posts: 8
Help
So, i'm new and not quite sure where to start. I have a drinking problem, and don't really know where to turn to. I am not getting much support from my friends. They don't think i have a problem, they just think i need to pace myself. They don't want me to quit drinking, but I know I need to stop. I am tired of feeling guilt, shame, and embarrassment after a night of drinking. I have no self control when it comes to alcohol. If i am in the mood to drink(which has been almost everyday this week) all my will power leaves me. I don't even try to argue with myself anymore, i just give in.
so here i am, hungover, searching the web trying to find answers and help. Any advice would help at this point. It's time to change.
Thanks
so here i am, hungover, searching the web trying to find answers and help. Any advice would help at this point. It's time to change.
Thanks
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
I think if drinking makes you unhappy then thats the real problem.
Whether you have a drinking problem or not, it does not matter if it is making you miserable and guilty.
Your friends are probably worried that they are going to loose their drinking buddy.
Maybe just explain that at the moment you are staying off the sauce. Don't confide in the why's and what for's until you feel a bit stronger.
Who knows in time you might feel able to hang out with them and not drink.
But perhaps at the moment it is best to avoid drinking situations if you can.
Some of them might also feel uneasy about your decision to stop and might be questioning their own drinking habits and behaviours.
Good friends will understand.
Just take it one day at a time.
Don't think too far ahead.
There are a lot of very wise people on this forum and they can share with you their experiences of drinking.
My own experience is that my drinking progressed to where it was not fun anymore.
It made me feel sad, regretful, guilty.
I wasted a good few years of my life.
I made some poor choices.
I did not loose my job, get caught drunk driving, get into trouble with the law, loose my house or family...but I am sure it could have happened if I had carried on.
I have 362 days tomorrow without a drink. Nearly a year. Here has helped me the most.
Read as much as you can and learn about alcohol and the lows it can lead to.
A better way of life is waiting for you if you wish!
My best too you!
Whether you have a drinking problem or not, it does not matter if it is making you miserable and guilty.
Your friends are probably worried that they are going to loose their drinking buddy.
Maybe just explain that at the moment you are staying off the sauce. Don't confide in the why's and what for's until you feel a bit stronger.
Who knows in time you might feel able to hang out with them and not drink.
But perhaps at the moment it is best to avoid drinking situations if you can.
Some of them might also feel uneasy about your decision to stop and might be questioning their own drinking habits and behaviours.
Good friends will understand.
Just take it one day at a time.
Don't think too far ahead.
There are a lot of very wise people on this forum and they can share with you their experiences of drinking.
My own experience is that my drinking progressed to where it was not fun anymore.
It made me feel sad, regretful, guilty.
I wasted a good few years of my life.
I made some poor choices.
I did not loose my job, get caught drunk driving, get into trouble with the law, loose my house or family...but I am sure it could have happened if I had carried on.
I have 362 days tomorrow without a drink. Nearly a year. Here has helped me the most.
Read as much as you can and learn about alcohol and the lows it can lead to.
A better way of life is waiting for you if you wish!
My best too you!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome to SR Lampchop 
You'll find lots of support here.
I didn't find much support outside the recovery community either I'm afraid. I think with friends and family they often just want to reassure you that everything's okay. We know better ourselves though. Try not to worry about what other people think and just concentrate on what you know you need to do. Don't doubt yourself x
You'll find lots of support here.I didn't find much support outside the recovery community either I'm afraid. I think with friends and family they often just want to reassure you that everything's okay. We know better ourselves though. Try not to worry about what other people think and just concentrate on what you know you need to do. Don't doubt yourself x
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Western New York
Posts: 375
Welcome Lambchop! You found a great, supportive community here. If you are truly ready to get sober, you can do it. It's 23 days for me and I am loving this new life free of hangovers, shame and regret. You can do it!
-Alison
-Alison
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,518
Welcome lambchop. I think you'll really benefit by being here. I had the same situation with friends and family - no one really understood what I was going through.
You've done a very difficult thing - you've admitted you have a problem and that you can't handle it alone. Many never reach that point. I was in my 50's before I took action and decided to quit - but by then terrible things had happened in my life. This won't have to happen to you. Glad you are here! I hope you keep posting.
You've done a very difficult thing - you've admitted you have a problem and that you can't handle it alone. Many never reach that point. I was in my 50's before I took action and decided to quit - but by then terrible things had happened in my life. This won't have to happen to you. Glad you are here! I hope you keep posting.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,460
Welcome!
It's usually hard for others to understand that we lose control in acoholism, and we can't pace ourselves or moderate. And, often people don't like change and your friends may be feeling threatened that you want to change.
You know that alcohol is causing problems in your life so finding us here at SR is a good start.
It's usually hard for others to understand that we lose control in acoholism, and we can't pace ourselves or moderate. And, often people don't like change and your friends may be feeling threatened that you want to change.
You know that alcohol is causing problems in your life so finding us here at SR is a good start.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: auburn,wa
Posts: 8
I really appreciate the support and advice. I was nervous about doing this, but you all have made me feel very welcome.It makes me feel like i might actually have a chance to succeed. It's going to be a lot of hard work, but i'm ready to do this!
When I am around alcohol or am in the mood to drink i always find a way to justify drinking. Any tips to help change that thought process?
Thanks
When I am around alcohol or am in the mood to drink i always find a way to justify drinking. Any tips to help change that thought process?
Thanks
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 2,937
Have you read anything about AVRT?
I think it stands for addictive voice recognition technique.
There are lots of threads on here about it.
From my limited understanding i is about recognising that voice saying 'just one drink', 'I will just do beer from now on no spirits', 'I will only drink at weekends' or 'I have done a day without booze, no way can I have a problem' - all the things we have done, said and felt to justify our drinking, usually when the hangover is starting to get better.
How do you feel today?
I think it stands for addictive voice recognition technique.
There are lots of threads on here about it.
From my limited understanding i is about recognising that voice saying 'just one drink', 'I will just do beer from now on no spirits', 'I will only drink at weekends' or 'I have done a day without booze, no way can I have a problem' - all the things we have done, said and felt to justify our drinking, usually when the hangover is starting to get better.
How do you feel today?
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