How long for 12 steps?
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Join Date: Jul 2011
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How long for 12 steps?
How long would you say it takes for someone to go through the 12 steps....
one year, two years or longer? Would it be normal that my husband went into rehab in 2007 and then again in 2011, (which both were just short stints of 5 days or less), not enough in my mind. But nonetheless, I never see him working the step book, and as far as I can see, he is only on step two. Is that strange?
one year, two years or longer? Would it be normal that my husband went into rehab in 2007 and then again in 2011, (which both were just short stints of 5 days or less), not enough in my mind. But nonetheless, I never see him working the step book, and as far as I can see, he is only on step two. Is that strange?
It's not strange for someone who isn't clean or doesn't want recovery.
Heck, I am only on step 3 in alanon however I did finish a codependency workbook and a 12 week class/support group. I also see a therapist but I KNOW could work my own program harder.
Heck, I am only on step 3 in alanon however I did finish a codependency workbook and a 12 week class/support group. I also see a therapist but I KNOW could work my own program harder.
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How long would you say it takes for someone to go through the 12 steps....
one year, two years or longer? Would it be normal that my husband went into rehab in 2007 and then again in 2011, (which both were just short stints of 5 days or less), not enough in my mind. But nonetheless, I never see him working the step book, and as far as I can see, he is only on step two. Is that strange?
one year, two years or longer? Would it be normal that my husband went into rehab in 2007 and then again in 2011, (which both were just short stints of 5 days or less), not enough in my mind. But nonetheless, I never see him working the step book, and as far as I can see, he is only on step two. Is that strange?
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 864
Not everyone uses the 12 steps, there is more than one road to recovery.
And then again lots of people use the 12 steps but that doesn't necessarily mean they are in recovery.
You know, his actions will show exactly where he is at.
Just as active addiction looks it’s part, so does recovery. The change is very obvious.
And you know, the more important question you need to ask is what are you doing for your recovery?
And then again lots of people use the 12 steps but that doesn't necessarily mean they are in recovery.
You know, his actions will show exactly where he is at.
Just as active addiction looks it’s part, so does recovery. The change is very obvious.
And you know, the more important question you need to ask is what are you doing for your recovery?
I had to ask this too, but Zoso asked it first. I second the question though.
I have known people to go to 12-step yet struggle with it, not liking it or believing it since for them it does not fit their belief system, etc. or they are not truly wanting to be in recovery...the reasons are endless.
How much time depends on the individual, but none of us can determine that for someone else and you'll wrap yourself up in that trap if you choose to focus on that.
My second question would be:
what is it that you are wanting for you that has nothing to do with him? Or are you currently basing what you want for you on his recovery? (If this is the case, you're only harming yourself in the longrun. Your safety, happiness, life, etc. will always be wrapped up in his 'stuff'...)
I have known people to go to 12-step yet struggle with it, not liking it or believing it since for them it does not fit their belief system, etc. or they are not truly wanting to be in recovery...the reasons are endless.
How much time depends on the individual, but none of us can determine that for someone else and you'll wrap yourself up in that trap if you choose to focus on that.
My second question would be:
what is it that you are wanting for you that has nothing to do with him? Or are you currently basing what you want for you on his recovery? (If this is the case, you're only harming yourself in the longrun. Your safety, happiness, life, etc. will always be wrapped up in his 'stuff'...)
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