Do alcoholics have remorse after rehab?
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I think all alcoholics experience remorse and regret when they first quit drinking. Whether an individual alcoholic feels remorse or regret about a separation or divorce is a very individual thing.
If you are asking, as the divorced or separated spouse, whether he or she will want to come back to you, that is a whole other issue. I certainly wouldn't have that expectation--you are likely to be disappointed if you do.
If you are asking, as the divorced or separated spouse, whether he or she will want to come back to you, that is a whole other issue. I certainly wouldn't have that expectation--you are likely to be disappointed if you do.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Mobile Alabama
Posts: 5
Thanks. We were together 26 years. I'm not counting on her coming back. I don't call or text her. She calls me and tells me about her appointments and meds. She gives me money every month since I'm in school. Our friends and family say she's not done but trying to get better. I don't see it and I don't expect her to return.
Linkin Park Enthusiast
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 548
When the ABF was in rehab, he called me crying about everything he did and how he feels so sorry and blahblahblah.
I told him to worry about himself right now, worry about me at step 9.
I should have known better, he never got to step 9! I should have recorded that, I think it's the last time I will ever hear it.
But for real, I don't think I have to hear it again. It showed me that he is still there, under all that alcoholic crap, and he really isn't the sociopath I assume him to be. Even when he is drunk. And he DOES remember the things he does, even if he claims not to.
I told him to worry about himself right now, worry about me at step 9.
I should have known better, he never got to step 9! I should have recorded that, I think it's the last time I will ever hear it.
But for real, I don't think I have to hear it again. It showed me that he is still there, under all that alcoholic crap, and he really isn't the sociopath I assume him to be. Even when he is drunk. And he DOES remember the things he does, even if he claims not to.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Originally Posted by inpieces314 
When the ABF was in rehab, he called me crying about everything he did and how he feels so sorry and blahblahblah.
I told him to worry about himself right now, worry about me at step 9.
I should have known better, he never got to step 9! I should have recorded that, I think it's the last time I will ever hear it.
But for real, I don't think I have to hear it again. It showed me that he is still there, under all that alcoholic crap, and he really isn't the sociopath I assume him to be. Even when he is drunk. And he DOES remember the things he does, even if he claims not to.
I told him to worry about himself right now, worry about me at step 9.
I should have known better, he never got to step 9! I should have recorded that, I think it's the last time I will ever hear it.
But for real, I don't think I have to hear it again. It showed me that he is still there, under all that alcoholic crap, and he really isn't the sociopath I assume him to be. Even when he is drunk. And he DOES remember the things he does, even if he claims not to.
But in the end, if there's no action backing it up, it doesn't matter.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Orem UT
Posts: 312
Same here, after 17 years the alckie got sober, he divorced me.(the crazy one according to him). got drunk months later and told me crying that he made a mistake, he wanted me back and he would anything to get me back. I said okay come back after you are sober for a year and let's see what life does.....2 years later and he never called. Thanks to al-anon and this forum I did not hold my breath he will come back.
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