Wife in therepy for alcohol and PTSD
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Mobile Alabama
Posts: 5
Wife in therepy for alcohol and PTSD
My wife and I have been together since 1986. We did divorce in 1994 (her choice) but reconciled 6 months later. Everything has been good since then for the most part. In 2001 she was diagnosed with ptsd and was awarded 100% from the VA. What I made working was ours and now she has hers and I have mine.
We started going out several years ago when our kids were older. She decided to join the VFW and became obcessed with it. Her drinking became out of control. One night she told me we were done. Of course she was drinking. Her counselor talked her into the ptsd program in the next state over. After 14 weeks she was her old self again.
She took a position at the VFW she couldn't handle and had a falling out. Her drinking was out of control again and we were done again. She knows she needs help so when our lease was up, she moved to the next state to be close to the VA. Our city doesn't offer the programs they do.
She started therepy monday for alcohol and ptsd (outpatient). She also wants to do a 3 month inpatient in Little Rock after this.
I have told her I'm proud of her and will support her in any way. She has a lot of anger going back 22 years. Says I'm a trigger. I don't call her but she calls me and still gives me money.
Any chance we could reconcile?
Your thoughts and advice please.
We started going out several years ago when our kids were older. She decided to join the VFW and became obcessed with it. Her drinking became out of control. One night she told me we were done. Of course she was drinking. Her counselor talked her into the ptsd program in the next state over. After 14 weeks she was her old self again.
She took a position at the VFW she couldn't handle and had a falling out. Her drinking was out of control again and we were done again. She knows she needs help so when our lease was up, she moved to the next state to be close to the VA. Our city doesn't offer the programs they do.
She started therepy monday for alcohol and ptsd (outpatient). She also wants to do a 3 month inpatient in Little Rock after this.
I have told her I'm proud of her and will support her in any way. She has a lot of anger going back 22 years. Says I'm a trigger. I don't call her but she calls me and still gives me money.
Any chance we could reconcile?
Your thoughts and advice please.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Welcome to SR, kramer. I am sorry for the situation that brought you here, but hope you find support and resources.
We have a saying here called the three A's: We don't cause them to drink, we can't control their drinking, and we can't cure them. Remember this, because you don't make your wife drink. Her triggers are hers to deal with.
That said, addictions tend to foster codependency in intimate relationships. Read all you can on this, and consider attending Al-Anon for your own support. I am sure that over the years a lot of unhealthy behaviors have been set up and you probably are long overdue for some introspection.
None of us here can answer your question about reconciliation. All we can offer is our collective wisdom about addictions, the effects on the family members and loved ones, and how to find your own life again that is peaceful and happy.
Keep coming back,
~T
We have a saying here called the three A's: We don't cause them to drink, we can't control their drinking, and we can't cure them. Remember this, because you don't make your wife drink. Her triggers are hers to deal with.
That said, addictions tend to foster codependency in intimate relationships. Read all you can on this, and consider attending Al-Anon for your own support. I am sure that over the years a lot of unhealthy behaviors have been set up and you probably are long overdue for some introspection.
None of us here can answer your question about reconciliation. All we can offer is our collective wisdom about addictions, the effects on the family members and loved ones, and how to find your own life again that is peaceful and happy.
Keep coming back,
~T
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Hi, and welcome.
TG is exactly right. None of us has a crystal ball--heck, if we had one, we'd be using it ourselves!
You concentrate on you, and let her concentrate on herself and her recovery. If you both do that, then regardless of whether you reconcile or not, you will both be happier, healthier people.
TG is exactly right. None of us has a crystal ball--heck, if we had one, we'd be using it ourselves!
You concentrate on you, and let her concentrate on herself and her recovery. If you both do that, then regardless of whether you reconcile or not, you will both be happier, healthier people.
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