Desperate times call for desperate measures
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: knoxville, TN
Posts: 4
Desperate times call for desperate measures
So this is my first post as a new member, and I'm the wife of a methadone addict. I've visited this site periodically over the past few years, but things have taken a downward turn as of late and I think it's time I reach out for some support...
My husband was secretly taking a high dose of methadone when we married, and continued to spend our family's money on it and hide his addiction for several years before I found him out.
When the truth came out, my first reaction was rage, but after a while I came to realize I wanted to help him recover so we could put this behind us, and I wanted to be the person he turned to for strength. We tried to find help but with 2 kids affordable rehab and time off work was difficult so we slowly weaned him down ourselves and last summer he stopped dosing. I bed-side nursed him thru the rough few days of withdrawls and as of last month he should have been 6 months clean.
SHOULD. HAVE. BEEN... He allowed me to believe for 6 months that he was clean, when in fact, it only lasted a few weeks. So I have kicked him out, he has come clean to his family and is staying with them and researching rehab/mental health options. I told him he can't come back home until he does a real rehab program, not just a few meetings. I truly believe my husband wants to stop, I just wish he would let me in instead of keeping everything hidden.
I also need the strength to not call him and tell him to just come home. I miss him so badly, but I know that standing my ground is what is making him take action unlike before when he only made excuses.
Am I doing the right thing?
Can an 8-year methadone addict go clean with good doctors ?
My husband was secretly taking a high dose of methadone when we married, and continued to spend our family's money on it and hide his addiction for several years before I found him out.
When the truth came out, my first reaction was rage, but after a while I came to realize I wanted to help him recover so we could put this behind us, and I wanted to be the person he turned to for strength. We tried to find help but with 2 kids affordable rehab and time off work was difficult so we slowly weaned him down ourselves and last summer he stopped dosing. I bed-side nursed him thru the rough few days of withdrawls and as of last month he should have been 6 months clean.
SHOULD. HAVE. BEEN... He allowed me to believe for 6 months that he was clean, when in fact, it only lasted a few weeks. So I have kicked him out, he has come clean to his family and is staying with them and researching rehab/mental health options. I told him he can't come back home until he does a real rehab program, not just a few meetings. I truly believe my husband wants to stop, I just wish he would let me in instead of keeping everything hidden.
I also need the strength to not call him and tell him to just come home. I miss him so badly, but I know that standing my ground is what is making him take action unlike before when he only made excuses.
Am I doing the right thing?
Can an 8-year methadone addict go clean with good doctors ?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Welcome to SR, though sorry for what has brought you here.
To answer your question, an addict can find recovery IF they want it bad enough. I'm both a recovering addict (RA) and have loved ones who are addicts/alcoholics (A's).
Rehab is not a cure. It's simply a step in the right direction if the A truly wants recovery.
I think if you read around the forum I'm linking, you will see that you're not alone and learn more about taking care of YOU. Most of us have spent so much time and energy on the A, we forget about ourselves. You and your kids deserve to not deal with the chaos of his addiction, regardless of what he does.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tance-abusers/
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
To answer your question, an addict can find recovery IF they want it bad enough. I'm both a recovering addict (RA) and have loved ones who are addicts/alcoholics (A's).
Rehab is not a cure. It's simply a step in the right direction if the A truly wants recovery.
I think if you read around the forum I'm linking, you will see that you're not alone and learn more about taking care of YOU. Most of us have spent so much time and energy on the A, we forget about ourselves. You and your kids deserve to not deal with the chaos of his addiction, regardless of what he does.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tance-abusers/
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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