PhilsFan33

Hello parents and thank you for clicking my post. I just want to ask you for your personal opinions. I'm at 26 year old male whose currently 70 days clean of pills. I struggled through addiction for over 5 years. Fortunately, during those horrible 5 years I was able to earns my bachelors degree while consistently working a full time job. I no with 100% certainty that my brother, sister or my close relatives know about my addiction. My parents may be a different story..Ive always believed that parents always "know" whats going on but I really don't think they do.

Now I put myself through addiction, withdrawal and 70 days of recovery. I also go to meetings 4-5 times a week. My big decision has become whether or not to share my story with my parents? Part of me wants to get myself out of the mess I made and another part of me thinks a big weight would be lifted off of my shoulder. Another thing is I would hate for my brother and sister to find about all of this. I'm very close to my siblings and their children and I would not be able to live with myself if I lost that..

I'm not sure if your experiences could help me here but I would really appreciate any input!

WithLove

Ann

The alternative is to live a lie. Is that really how you want your relationship with your family to be?

You are relatively new to recovery and have a long way to go. Congratuations on your decision to find a better path.

From where I sit, recovery is an honest program. It would be good to let them know you have had a serious problem with drugs and are in the process of doing something about it. There is no shame in admitting a problem and working to find a better way.

They may be curious and ask questions you don't want to answer. Rather than lying it may be better to just say that you will discuss more when you are further in your recovery and more comfortable doing so.

They may already know. My son is my addicted loved one and I knew long before he admitted it. But other parents sometimes have no idea. It often depends on how frequently we see our children and how out of character they become. You sound like you were fairly functional during your using days...you are very lucky that you didn't fall deeper into the black hole of despair that addiction often provides.

Good luck in your recovery and in your relationship with your family.

Hugs

Kindeyes

I knew of my son's addiction....it was pretty obvious. He was pretty dysfunctional. So I can't really answer your question. I guess I would say that if you do decide to tell them, you cannot predict or control anyone's response to the information....so accepting that fact before you do it might be very important.

gentle hugs
ke

HopefulmomtoD

First, congratulations on 70 days clean AND finishing college. My 22 RAS was also fairly dysfunctional, so his addiction (to alcohol) became fairly obvious to the entire family.

As Kindeyes says there is no way to know their reaction, but I would think most parents would be proud of your hard work in getting your life back on track. I also believe it will make maintaining sobriety easier as your family could be a great support system for you.

What are you doing to stay clean/sober? I can not imagine doing it if family (who you say you are very close with) don't even know about it. My son has had a couple of relapses this year because according to him "he wasn't working a program". He now has a sponsor and is attending meetings daily.

dollydo

Congrats! Good job! Me, I would tell my parents, I don't do secrets very well, I am a "Honesty is the best policy" kind of person. With that said, I do not know your parents, so do what you are most comfortable with.

Sunshine2

I would tell my parents too, if I were you. They may be upset, so be prepared for it. How will you react if their response is negative? Is there a possibility that you may want to use again?

70 Days is really awesome and if I was your mom I would be so proud of you.

hello-kitty

I think you will know when the time is right to tell your parents.

Maybe start by telling them the actions you are takingand the changes you have made in your life and how that is affecting you ie... I don't drink anymore - I feel much better in the morning. I am working with a sponsor and it's helping me stay clean and sober.... etc etc.

In my opinion you don't need to give them the dirty details of your addiction right away, but you can always share the positive aspects of your recovery.

Lily1918

are you working a twelve step program? maybe, if you aren't comfortable telling them yet, you can wait until you get to the step about making amends to whomever you can?

Ilovemysonjj

Hello Phil, I have known since my son flipped out completely on heroin. However, I wish he had come "clean" with me earlier in his life as he started doing lesser drugs before he found Heroin. As a Mother, we will love our children through all phases and trials in life. I agree with Ann and everyone else. When YOUR time is right, your heart will tug at you to share and that would be HP setting the stage for your deliverance. Stay strong and focused on your sobriety.
Hugs,
Teresa

hopeintahoe

If you are in a 12 step program and have a sponsor that is who you need to talk too. As you do the steps the answer to your question will be there, you will know what to do.

PhilsFan33

Thank you all for your opinions and suggestions! I truly appreciate every word! Although I do attend 4-5 meetings a week I haven't gotten a sponsor yet. I have a lot of problems opening up to people, especially strangers. However the idea of getting a sponsor is growing on me and I may take that step next.

I think you're all right and I will know when the correct time is. Thanks a million

WithLove