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Feeling "off" after doing Step 5

Old 02-04-2013, 06:25 PM
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Feeling "off" after doing Step 5

I did step 5 this weekend. And while it brought me a sense of some relief, I feel emotionally hungover today. Tired, sad, angry, lonely. Has anyone felt like this after?
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Old 02-04-2013, 06:45 PM
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I can identify with some of that.

I was predominantly feeling great relief and joy after my first 5th, but as the shine wore off, I did start to feel a bit of what you described.

Tired - absolutely! It's emotionally draining and it's a slog to get through it at times. We're both actively speaking and listening, and this isn't the weather or sports we're talking about.

Angry - if there was any anger, it would have been self-directed, as there was the sense of how could I have done all this? What a wreck I truly made of the past. Sometimes our sponsor doesn't tell us what we want to hear as well...and we can put that anger on him / her.

Sad - I didn't experience too much sadness. Perhaps grieving would have been closer to it. I was grieving and mourning a life I once had, I grieved all the people that I had harmed, and seeing it all at once perhaps would have put me in that place. But I didn't stay in that for very long.

Lonely - For me, it may have been more about a "now what?" But I didn't have too time for that, as I immediately did my 6th and 7th and started writing my 8th that afternoon. I felt a stronger connection to my sponsor and to AA in general. I felt more part of than apart, so it's hard for me to have said that I experienced it myself.

IS there something specific that affected you...to feel this way?

Regardless - congratulations on doing your 5th!
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Old 02-04-2013, 07:02 PM
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I was definitely tired after. I was also a little sad and angry, but my sponsor told me that we use our experiences (all the bad and good) to benefit others and any self-pity or emotion directed at myself were all ego. I should be grateful now I know what my maladjustments are so that I can practice the opposite and go help a newcomer.

I got up this morning and did not have to drink. That is a miracle.
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Old 02-04-2013, 07:50 PM
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Thanks guys, your responses are very helpful. Paul, I think grief is more of what I feel rather than sadness. When you said that it clicked inside my head. Last night I dreamt of the people I have lost whether due to my addiction, theirs or both. Indirectly or directly, it is loss none the less. I am proud of myself for doing this step honestly and thoroughly. I find comfort in knowing that I am on the right path.
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Old 02-04-2013, 08:10 PM
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Originally Posted by quitforme79 View Post
. I am proud of myself for doing this step honestly and thoroughly. I find comfort in knowing that I am on the right path.
As you should feel proud, and you certainly are on the right path.

Well done.
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Old 02-05-2013, 08:15 AM
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Originally Posted by quitforme79 View Post
Thanks guys, your responses are very helpful. Paul, I think grief is more of what I feel rather than sadness. When you said that it clicked inside my head. Last night I dreamt of the people I have lost whether due to my addiction, theirs or both. Indirectly or directly, it is loss none the less. I am proud of myself for doing this step honestly and thoroughly. I find comfort in knowing that I am on the right path.
grief,when undealt with,can cause anger
I did not know how to deal with grief and I held it in for years,contributing to my anger problem
you may want to seek out your sponsor or someone and discuss this with them
just a suggestion
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Old 02-05-2013, 08:38 AM
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you're uncovering alot of information about yourself. Much of which is not pleasant. Ive talked to a lot of folks whose 5th step was not very pleasant. Seems the best answer is to continue to fit yourself to be of service by working the rest of the steps. Life gets real good when you start to see how your experience can benefit others. Those things about yourself which once were shameful or disappointing become great assets in helping others. Keep it up!
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Old 05-06-2013, 12:59 PM
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I felt "Empty." After going to the garbage dump for the first time in my
life and getting rid of all the crap of a lifetime, empty was a new sensation.
After awhile it starts to get filled up with lots of good stuff when I practice
the steps and principles of AA in my daily affairs. What a ride.......
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