glasshalffull

I have been hovering around this forum for months, but this is my first post. I am an alcoholic and have been for years, but stayed sober for periods, up to 11 years in one instance. Some in AA, more recently not. Have been drinking for the last 18 months. Am sober 3 days now.

I don't want to go to AA anymore, if the naysayers say I will die as a consequence, well so be it. I hope to stay sober, a long time sober, without AA. This forum gives me hope.

I was always anxious, though I could never name it as such. I also have had periods of black, black depression, some while totally sober, living the AA life with a sponsor, sponsees and 1000 meetings a week. Praying my heart out too, and aside from moments of respite, the depression had to run its course. I never realsied all this till I was dianosed about three years ago. Had a few goes at getting the rights meds, had found the right one that suits me... and stupidly at the same time, after 5 years thought I could drink again.

Anyway, am on antibuse (which I have also been struggling with, not taking it and drinking again), and am going to try councilling and meditation as an adjunct. Plus this forum. Hope I have not rattled on too much.

Impurrfect

Welcome to SR!! I lurked here, for a couple of years, and had 6 months clean when I finally signed on. I went to AA (it worked better than NA for me, even though my DOC [drug of choice] is crack) for a while, and though I still use what I learned there, my "program" is a little of this, a little of that, and whole lot of what I've learned here.

Congratulations on 3 days and welcome to the family!

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

Hevyn

Welcome Glasshalf! No, you did not rattle on too much.

I think you'll find it very helpful to be here. You're among friends who truly understand how you feel. It's good you're trying other things as well. For me, not feeling alone helped my anxiety greatly. We're happy to have you join us.