Redheadsusie

And I can't pinpoint why........Not missing Ah - that I know of. I miss having a special someone but truly he had not been there for me for years if at all. I think of the behavior I accepted for 13 years and I am sad..that I allowed that for myself. Ashamed actually........... My house is peaceful - my son is happy here with just me ....... the dog does not run out of the room scared...I am scared for the future I guess when I am trying to be excited................ Today I am just sad and I can't hide it..............tomorrow will be better I pray........... Thank you SR!

AlcoholicLove

I'm sorry you're feeling this way...
i had one of those days last week (I think). I just go with the flow and be sad.
It passes eventually and I feel better the next day.

I know some try to put on a happy face and carry on-i think it's healthier to give in to your sad feelings.

"Let It Be"

MarliMac

I was just feeling that way myself. The house is peaceful, I have Pandora playing, (AH would always get mad if I played music) the washer and dryer are humming, everything is good, but I still have that weird anxiety feeling like something bad is about to happen.

I think at least part of it was that my life was built around being tuned in to AH's moods and always tiptoeing around trying to anticipate what was going to set him off and now, I just don't know how to stop doing that. I did it for 12 years, so I guess it's not surprising that I just can't turn it off immediately.

Recover53

Well, I went nuts and felt I should text, not call, my exaw, I was really feeling lonely. I just wanted to know why after 27 years together it couldn't work out. She was quick to point out my short comings, forgetting HER lies and screwing around!!! She went on explaining the hell she went thru. She forgets the year before she left she blew $40K on plastic surgery AND didn't work!!! She forgets about these secrets friends that were none of my business!! I forget I was living in hell myself, thank God I ended up in AlaNon. If I had gone to a meeting or called some body I think I could have saved myself a bunch of grief today.
Yea, I relate to being lonely. Calling the source of so much heartache and pain didnt fix it. Tomorrow I will be at a meeting to talk about it, recovery is recovery, I'm not done with this process yet.Thanks for sharing with us.

redatlanta

Its not always a bad thing to be sad - it sounds like you are going through the process of forgiving yourself for putting up with it so long - that's a good thing. Today will be a better day!

ReflectingOnMe

I understand completely. My mom tells me to just cry..that not crying causes it to drawl out. On days when I am feeling sad I watch sappy romance movies and let those tears flow. It is cleansing.

dollydo

It is all part of the grieving process, one of many phases that you will be going through. This too shall pass!

Make today a good one..for you!

Redheadsusie

Thank you guys! Well- today I am angry- flat our angry- not sad though so that is good. I am going through the grieving process like a death I suppose. When my Dad died we learned about the different emotions you go through and this is no different than a death. I am grateful I am going through it - not liking it but know it is necessary. Now if I just don't beat someone up today.................. ;-)

Crazed

I'm weepy as well. I got a "thank you" card in the mail from my 16 year old pseudo-step daughter for a birthday gift I sent her. In it she said she loved me and missed me. It brought tears to my eyes since I don't get to see her (or th 18 year old) anymore. Happy that she loves me, sad I don't see her.