DeltaBravo

I fell off the sober train again. This time not so bad as consumption...but I drank with my wife at applebees...and then drank with my buddy on saturday while watching the ufc fight....felt guilty and bad of course. wife is pissed because I went over there and drank...should've stayed home. kicking myself in the teeth right now. i need to really go to a meeting....this solo thing i've been doing isn't working. i can't seem to kick this by myself. my family is embarrassed of me...wife told me today. can't get those words out of my mind. anyways just wanted to share my feelings...

Nonsensical

Welcome back. I got some tough words from my wife a week ago. It stings, but it means she still has hope. Hang in there, Buddy!

MIRecovery

AA worked for me when all else failed. Sounds like it is time to try something new

doggonecarl

Nothing changes if nothing changes.

It's a cliche, but it's true. You're proof.

It can get worse. And will if you don't do something significant to support your recovery. Do you want to be one of the posters that come here to us their wife left them after numerous relapses?

Xune

Your wife drank with you and is angry that you drank?

Really?

I hope you make the changes needed to stay sober.

AA?

DeltaBravo

well good news...I found a meeting and had a heart to heart with my wife...i shed tears and let go of everything. there were hugs and i love you's...i feel like a big weight has been lifted. she is taking me to the place so i can get the times and dates.

truly one day at a time.

DeltaBravo

Damn...wow I totally underestimated this addiction. Meetings are good. Now I see the company I keep has totally got to change. I couldn't even make it 5 days this past week. Fri/Sat/Sun total bender days. I forgot about my promises to my wife and kids. I just wanted to party and hang out. This is so freaking sad man....I've been late to work for the past 3 days. It has been just too darn hard to get out of bed.

Today feels like a day I can finally be normal without being paranoid. I think I finally pushed her over the edge this time. I said some things Sat...which were true, but because I was drinking and the tone they were in....I blew it to say the least.

I'm getting ready be gone for a long time (6 months) here soon. This will be a dry 6 months....I don't what the future holds for my wife and I. I know one thing...I HAVE TO GET CLEAN! I know I am better than this sad addiction. I'm to the point now where it has almost defined me...shaped me...and ruined me. I feel I'm clinging on to an inch.

I need to get a sponsor. 90 days till I can be in a non-intentional rehab/clean state. 90 days to prove to myself, family, and friends I can be clean.

Is this a wrong way to look at this?

This may sound silly...but how can I approach AA and be successful...I was so silent last time. Almost anti-social...not being rude...but just scared.

Tips/advice on this would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks.

Anna

This journey is always much harder than we expect, because there is so much more to it than just stopping drinking. As you said, the people you spend time with and the places you go are very significant.

I think motivation is the most important thing in recovery, no matter which program you use. And, I think it's hugely important to get and stay sober for yourself and to learn that you are worth having a good life.

bryangt

Get comfortable at the meetings knowing you are NOT alone. You will here others who are just like you with this problem...some worse, some better. Once you feel you can share & get things off your chest at the meetings, you will feel a lot better. It takes time. Find a sponsor who has what you want. Listen. Share...get involved with service work if possible (making coffee, cleaning up after meetings etc...) AA will be your new medicine hopefully.
Hang in there, it will get easier...God Bless..

MattyB

Its never good to be hard on yourself for having a good time. You did what you had to do. To approach getting sober, I would find within yourself enough compelling reasons for you to stop and enough whys reasons. This can be compelling and emotional reasons as many as you can such as "I need to be a non-drinker because I want to be as present and supportive to my wife as much as possible." Having reasons higher than yourself will get you very far. Another thing is making this a MUST for you. Its important before stopping a habit or compulsion that you want to rid that you get very fed up, very discusted as if you were saying "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!". This is common of many people that reach "bottom" which motivated them to finally stop, but if this is really something that you want for yourself, why wait? Once we experience enough pain in respect to our drinking, this is when the true shifts happen. Usually here, I have clients list 10 of the worst experiences they have had as a consequence of drinking and have them go over and over in their mind enough times and as vivid as possible, that they are determined enough to never pick up again.

As for cravings a good way to combat them for good is to tell yourself "These cravings are perfectly normal, I must be doing the rite thing." This is a powerful mantra and will get you to rationalize urges. I could go on and on, but this is only the tip of the iceberg.