Fell off the wagon, glad to be back
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Lynnwood WA
Posts: 424
Fell off the wagon, glad to be back
I was so proud of myself when I didn't drink on New Year's or my 30th birthday in January. But I have to say that I have drank every weekend since then. Lots of family came into town for my boyfriend's mom's 50th birthday. I drank with them. I am not going to use them as an excuse because I was planning on drinking with them from the get go. It takes a long time to recover when I haven't been drinking much; an entire day in bed plus feeling icky the following few days. Last week I drank every day. My new sober day is Feb. 3, 2013. I could really tell the difference from how I felt going to work hungover and how it was to go to work sober, yet I still came home and drank in the evening. I love the feeling of the first few shots but then I have never been able to stop myself after that. I just starting school again and I got absolutely nothing done this past month. I still feel a little icky, having a cold doesn't help either. But I feel good knowing that I can't drink anymore. I guess I will give this sober thing another go around. I have to say that once I fell off the wagon it was really hard to get back on it again. I feel crappy for having done this to myself and losing control but it's over for now and I have to put it behind me to move on.
Choosing Life
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 1,435
I was always shocked at myself when I would relapse but like you, eventually I figured out that I'd been planning to drink again long before I actually did, albeit unconsciously. But you're right - there is a world of difference between waking up hungover and having to function like that, and waking up sober. Sober is better! You can get back in the game but you have to decide that you truly want it. For me, those "first few shots" were what kept me wanting to go back over and over again, but like you, I couldn't stop after that, and when I drink, bad things happen. It is so much easier to just avoid that first drink, and it takes a lot less energy too.
You can do this. It IS over and you can move forward. What is your plan to stay sober this time around?
You can do this. It IS over and you can move forward. What is your plan to stay sober this time around?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Lynnwood WA
Posts: 424
I don't have a plan to stay sober besides using this webiste. I tried hypnosis and the whole affirmations thing a couple of weeks ago. I don't think I was ready to quit then so they didn't work. But they may work now.
I think my big problem is Nyquil and being sick all of the time. I am a preschool teacher and am constantly around germs. The only thing that has worked for me is Dayquil and Nyquil but Dayquil makes me feel high and Nyquil makes me feel drunk. I start to enjoy those feelings with those medicines and continue to take them when I'm not sick. I have tried vitamin C, tea with honey and lemon, acupuncture, traditional Chinese medicine and herbs. I'm not sure what else to do on that issue.
I think my big problem is Nyquil and being sick all of the time. I am a preschool teacher and am constantly around germs. The only thing that has worked for me is Dayquil and Nyquil but Dayquil makes me feel high and Nyquil makes me feel drunk. I start to enjoy those feelings with those medicines and continue to take them when I'm not sick. I have tried vitamin C, tea with honey and lemon, acupuncture, traditional Chinese medicine and herbs. I'm not sure what else to do on that issue.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Central New Jersey, USA
Posts: 1,345
I think if you are getting a "feeling" from the cold meds which mimics the feeling of booze - you must avoid them. Try some other OTC without any alcohol content when you are sick but ou may just have to suffer through.
As for a plan - I think having a plan for quitting is a great idea. That being said my only plan thus far (66 days) have been using this site and preparing individually for events which might casue me trouble.
I wish you the best of luck. Keep posting. I don't know if you have thought of joining the February class thread. I am in December and post often on that thread. It has really been a help to me. I have made connections with people who are close to where I am in the process.
As for a plan - I think having a plan for quitting is a great idea. That being said my only plan thus far (66 days) have been using this site and preparing individually for events which might casue me trouble.
I wish you the best of luck. Keep posting. I don't know if you have thought of joining the February class thread. I am in December and post often on that thread. It has really been a help to me. I have made connections with people who are close to where I am in the process.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
Welcome back Patty 
I think it's important to accept that you need to do more this time than last time.
maybe more support is the answer?
seeing your Dr could help too - they may be able to suggest lifestyle changes to help keep you healthy - or at least suggest other treatments that aren't prone to misuse... that way you can throw the dayquil and nyquil out for good
D
I think it's important to accept that you need to do more this time than last time.
maybe more support is the answer?
seeing your Dr could help too - they may be able to suggest lifestyle changes to help keep you healthy - or at least suggest other treatments that aren't prone to misuse... that way you can throw the dayquil and nyquil out for good
D
Clear Eyes Full Heart
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,272
Welcome back PattyJ. I used to teach preschool, so I know about the germs. I have noticed though, since I stopped drinking I haven't been really sick at all. I've been surrounded by people with the flu but have escaped it. Maybe because I'm also taking more vitamins, but I doubt that's the only reason.I think when I was drinking I was more run down and more susceptible to catching things. It can't be good to be on a constant cycle of Dayquil and Nyquil either-they're supposed to be used for short periods of time...
I remember when I tried to stop drinking in the past the relapses were definitely planned ahead of time. The actual fun experience that I planned in my head rarely was anything like the actual occasion when I overdid it. lol I never said "oh, I can't wait for Rick's party. I'm going to drink a gallon of booze, trip and fall, slur my words, repeat myself 10 times, argue with my friend who doesn't want me to drive, etc.). The same thought process that builds it all up can also build up how beneficial sobriety can be. You just have to practice thinking in a different slant.
I remember when I tried to stop drinking in the past the relapses were definitely planned ahead of time. The actual fun experience that I planned in my head rarely was anything like the actual occasion when I overdid it. lol I never said "oh, I can't wait for Rick's party. I'm going to drink a gallon of booze, trip and fall, slur my words, repeat myself 10 times, argue with my friend who doesn't want me to drive, etc.). The same thought process that builds it all up can also build up how beneficial sobriety can be. You just have to practice thinking in a different slant.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
It took two relapses for me to "see the light." It does get harder to stop each time - I totally agree.
When I think about a drink now, I immediately go the next morning in my mind.... it always makes me grateful I don't have to live that way anymore. Good for you for getting back to sobriety..... if you make it your #1 priority, the rest will fall into place.:ghug3
When I think about a drink now, I immediately go the next morning in my mind.... it always makes me grateful I don't have to live that way anymore. Good for you for getting back to sobriety..... if you make it your #1 priority, the rest will fall into place.:ghug3
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Lynnwood WA
Posts: 424
Thanks guys. I think that I will find some alternatives for medicine when I am sick. I have been a teacher for 5 years but my immune system has yet to build up. I also thought that quitting alcohol would help my immune system, that was one of the reasons that I decided to quit, but it hasn't yet. I do think that I need more support this time. I have a pile of books to read about alcoholics and stories of success; I just need to read them. When I plan a drinking event, I do need to look into the following morning. I can remember what it felt like to be hungover but the feeling of being drunk out ways the next morning hangover in my mind.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 150
Patti -
I'm 31 and you sound like me! Man, I played the on/off wagon game for YEARS and years...leading to a stint in rehab, 4 months of being sober but not working a program, then drinking again and that relapse pretty much lasted 2 years. but since I went to rehab, I had to hide my drinking. Do you know the chaos that creates! It was a tough go.
Listen, I've been sober 101 days today. The difference is, when I gave up this last time, I decided I would try what I never really tried before - embracing AA. I committed to 90 meetings in 90 days, even though I didn't see the point and hated meetings and thought AA was a cult. But, the fact is, it worked for millions of people and I failed over and over on my own. I even bought antabuse over the internet to deter my drinking, and still drank on it and almost died.
I also decided to add therapy to the mix. Found a great addiction specialist/therapist who does hypnotherapy as well. I went to 90 meetings in 90 days and it worked miracles. I can't believe I'm saying that right now, but it's true. The first few weeks sucked...but at least I was accomplishing something without lying to myself, which really boosted my confidence. Never in a million years did I think I would be able to actually do that, especially around the holidays...but I did and it's amazing how different my sobriety is today versus when I was trying to stay sober alone.
My boyfriends family are big, fun drinkers, but I resort to Red Bull. I still hang out. And for some reason, that one meeting a day helps a TON. I can't even explain how or why because I don't know, but give it a shot. This is coming from the biggest cynic around.
Trying it wouldn't hurt and it may be the best thing for you! But you gotta give it time. Not one meeting a week...get to know these people and over time, it's amazing.
Good Luck! Oh, I also went on anti-depressants/anxiety meds and a sleeping med that was prescribed ( I used to totally abuse tylenol pm) and an anti-craving med called Naltrexone which helps the cravings. All this helps. Alot.
I'm 31 and you sound like me! Man, I played the on/off wagon game for YEARS and years...leading to a stint in rehab, 4 months of being sober but not working a program, then drinking again and that relapse pretty much lasted 2 years. but since I went to rehab, I had to hide my drinking. Do you know the chaos that creates! It was a tough go.
Listen, I've been sober 101 days today. The difference is, when I gave up this last time, I decided I would try what I never really tried before - embracing AA. I committed to 90 meetings in 90 days, even though I didn't see the point and hated meetings and thought AA was a cult. But, the fact is, it worked for millions of people and I failed over and over on my own. I even bought antabuse over the internet to deter my drinking, and still drank on it and almost died.
I also decided to add therapy to the mix. Found a great addiction specialist/therapist who does hypnotherapy as well. I went to 90 meetings in 90 days and it worked miracles. I can't believe I'm saying that right now, but it's true. The first few weeks sucked...but at least I was accomplishing something without lying to myself, which really boosted my confidence. Never in a million years did I think I would be able to actually do that, especially around the holidays...but I did and it's amazing how different my sobriety is today versus when I was trying to stay sober alone.
My boyfriends family are big, fun drinkers, but I resort to Red Bull. I still hang out. And for some reason, that one meeting a day helps a TON. I can't even explain how or why because I don't know, but give it a shot. This is coming from the biggest cynic around.
Trying it wouldn't hurt and it may be the best thing for you! But you gotta give it time. Not one meeting a week...get to know these people and over time, it's amazing.
Good Luck! Oh, I also went on anti-depressants/anxiety meds and a sleeping med that was prescribed ( I used to totally abuse tylenol pm) and an anti-craving med called Naltrexone which helps the cravings. All this helps. Alot.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Lynnwood WA
Posts: 424
Thanks Niki! Did you use to drink around your boyfriend's family? How did they react when you didn't drink around them anymore? I think that's one of my issues. I don't drink around my boyfriend or any of my family members (they all know I am quitting), I also don't drink around my coworkers when we go to happy hour (they all know I am cutting back). The only people I drink around are my boyfriend's family.
I feel AA could be a cult, that's why I haven't tried it yet but I think it's my last resort. I am already on anxiety meds, have been for many years. I will check into my insurance for therapy.
Thanks again! You do sound like me!!
I feel AA could be a cult, that's why I haven't tried it yet but I think it's my last resort. I am already on anxiety meds, have been for many years. I will check into my insurance for therapy.
Thanks again! You do sound like me!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: NY, NY
Posts: 76
You're not alone. I had an awful relapse on Sunday. As others have said...I think deep down I knew it was coming. I had been logging on religiously and stopped and also loosened my rules around who I would spend time with.
On a positive note, I realize I do need more support and have found a meeting that I think is a perfect fit.
Good luck to you.
On a positive note, I realize I do need more support and have found a meeting that I think is a perfect fit.
Good luck to you.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Minneapolis
Posts: 210
Originally Posted by 773niki 
Patti -
I'm 31 and you sound like me! Man, I played the on/off wagon game for YEARS and years...leading to a stint in rehab, 4 months of being sober but not working a program, then drinking again and that relapse pretty much lasted 2 years. but since I went to rehab, I had to hide my drinking. Do you know the chaos that creates! It was a tough go.
Listen, I've been sober 101 days today. The difference is, when I gave up this last time, I decided I would try what I never really tried before - embracing AA. I committed to 90 meetings in 90 days, even though I didn't see the point and hated meetings and thought AA was a cult. But, the fact is, it worked for millions of people and I failed over and over on my own. I even bought antabuse over the internet to deter my drinking, and still drank on it and almost died.
I also decided to add therapy to the mix. Found a great addiction specialist/therapist who does hypnotherapy as well. I went to 90 meetings in 90 days and it worked miracles. I can't believe I'm saying that right now, but it's true. The first few weeks sucked...but at least I was accomplishing something without lying to myself, which really boosted my confidence. Never in a million years did I think I would be able to actually do that, especially around the holidays...but I did and it's amazing how different my sobriety is today versus when I was trying to stay sober alone.
My boyfriends family are big, fun drinkers, but I resort to Red Bull. I still hang out. And for some reason, that one meeting a day helps a TON. I can't even explain how or why because I don't know, but give it a shot. This is coming from the biggest cynic around.
Trying it wouldn't hurt and it may be the best thing for you! But you gotta give it time. Not one meeting a week...get to know these people and over time, it's amazing.
Good Luck! Oh, I also went on anti-depressants/anxiety meds and a sleeping med that was prescribed ( I used to totally abuse tylenol pm) and an anti-craving med called Naltrexone which helps the cravings. All this helps. Alot.
I'm 31 and you sound like me! Man, I played the on/off wagon game for YEARS and years...leading to a stint in rehab, 4 months of being sober but not working a program, then drinking again and that relapse pretty much lasted 2 years. but since I went to rehab, I had to hide my drinking. Do you know the chaos that creates! It was a tough go.
Listen, I've been sober 101 days today. The difference is, when I gave up this last time, I decided I would try what I never really tried before - embracing AA. I committed to 90 meetings in 90 days, even though I didn't see the point and hated meetings and thought AA was a cult. But, the fact is, it worked for millions of people and I failed over and over on my own. I even bought antabuse over the internet to deter my drinking, and still drank on it and almost died.
I also decided to add therapy to the mix. Found a great addiction specialist/therapist who does hypnotherapy as well. I went to 90 meetings in 90 days and it worked miracles. I can't believe I'm saying that right now, but it's true. The first few weeks sucked...but at least I was accomplishing something without lying to myself, which really boosted my confidence. Never in a million years did I think I would be able to actually do that, especially around the holidays...but I did and it's amazing how different my sobriety is today versus when I was trying to stay sober alone.
My boyfriends family are big, fun drinkers, but I resort to Red Bull. I still hang out. And for some reason, that one meeting a day helps a TON. I can't even explain how or why because I don't know, but give it a shot. This is coming from the biggest cynic around.
Trying it wouldn't hurt and it may be the best thing for you! But you gotta give it time. Not one meeting a week...get to know these people and over time, it's amazing.
Good Luck! Oh, I also went on anti-depressants/anxiety meds and a sleeping med that was prescribed ( I used to totally abuse tylenol pm) and an anti-craving med called Naltrexone which helps the cravings. All this helps. Alot.
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