bamboo10

So today is my birthday...and there is no desire for celebration. We got a call last night that a family friend's son died. He had been sober for 5 years, lost 70 pounds, and was doing great. His wife recently filed for divorce and was making it really ugly. Anyway, I guess that put him over, and he overdosed yesterday. We don't know on what-but drugs and alcohol of some sort. I'm so scared for xabf. I cant stop thinking about it. I know there is nothing I can do-but I just dont know what I would do if he were to die.

Audrey1

I haven't seen you on here for a while, bamboo.

Sorry to hear you don't feel you can celebrate today. There's nothing much I can say to help you, because irrespective of what your XABF did to you, and how much you and all of us here know we need to detach from these situations and thoughts and put ourselves first, it's a whole lot easier said than done.

All I can suggest is you make a list of all your favourite things and focus on doing as many of those things as possible with your favourite people today. After all, this is a whole new year for you, and will hold many beautiful surprises.

Happy birthday, bamboo. I hope you manage to feel more positive about things as the day goes on. xx

bamboo10

Thanks Audrey. I've just been feeling depressed lately. Not just because of the XABF but a whole bunch of stuff added on top of each other. I guess realizing that the addiction never goes away hit me hard. Im just sad....I feel like thats all I ever am these days. I dont know how to get myself out of this rut.

Tuffgirl

I am so sorry for your sad news. But I do wish you a peaceful birthday! I won't say "happy", because its hard to be happy under those circumstances. But maybe find some gratitude today in what is good in your life.
Hugs,
~T

firebolt

Hang in there, and I'm sorry it's a bummer of a birthday - those just blow. I hope you can find some serenity today. I carry a card in my purse that I picked up from my very first Alanon meeting a few months ago - and it helps me often. I hope it helps you out today, and you end up having a GOOD birthday!

JUST FOR TODAY (condensed a bit)

Just for today

...I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all of my problems at once.

...I will be happy. Quoting Abraham Lincoln "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."

...I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my "luck" as it comes, and fit myself into it.

...I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study and learn something useful.

...I will exercise my soul in 3 ways. 1 - I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out. 2 - I will do at least 2 things I don't want to do, just for exercise. 3 - I will not show anyone my feelings are hurt.

...I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, be courteous and not criticize. I will only regulate myself.

...I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from 2 pests: hurry and indecision.

...I will have a quiet half hour, all by myself and RELAX. During this time, I will try to get a better perspective on my life.

...I will be unafraid. Especially, I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.

:ghug3

ReflectingOnMe

Bamboo, so sorry that a loss such as this has lead to thoughts of your xabf. I react the same way when I hear of someone losing the battle with their addiction. Hoping you can find some peace and enjoyment on your birthday.

Audrey1

This too shall pass. If you think about all the hardest times in your life, they all involved multiple things piling up at once. But you always survive. We women are built strong to take these things apart and deal with them one by one until we get through them. I guarantee you'll wake in the morning feeling a lot better.

Hugs to you.

bamboo10

Thanks everyone. Im just in such a rut right now and cant find my way out. I was surrounded by love and people that care about me yesterday yet i felt completely alone. any ideas on a way out of this feeling?

marie1960

Sometimes we just have to feel and experience all the feelings we presently feeling.

I was in a terrible funk last week, but it passed.

I did take the opportunity to indulge in a few of my favorite comfort foods..... don't know if it helped, but sure was a yummy distraction for a sub zero winter day........... besides it was soup, soup is supposed to be good for you right?
A twiced baked potato soup made with a heavy cream, and bacon and cheese, a warm piece of homeade bread......... soothed my troubled mind........

THis too shall pass friend, hang in there..........