People, places, and things that make me want to drink!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 443
People, places, and things that make me want to drink!
Well,
This truly is a crazy experiment. I'm almost at 3 weeks, (counting, counting, counting the days... like makin' marks on a prison wall!) and while I'm not really completely losing it, when the urge to drink strikes, boy is it a doozey!
I may never have had a full blown "physical dependency," as in, I didn't drink daily, or in the morning or the shower, or the car. I'm a binge drinker with blackouts and hellish hangovers--that were getting increasingly worse. However, since recovering from my last drinking episode and subsequent nightmare of hangover, other than craving sugar, I've had no physical symptoms that I can discern.
Where I'm going with this is: Krykie! The psychological part of this addiction is no freakin' picinic! Have I trained my brain to want alcohol at certain times/events/and occasions?
Here's the thing, I'd say about 80-90% of the day I'm O.K. Not always great, but not freaking out. However, when I run into people--friends and acquaintances that I've drank or partied with, I panic! They instantly remind me of "fun" drinking. I ran into a friend out and about that I haven't seen in a while, with whom I've shared beers, stayed up late and played music with. He and I shot the breeze, and he asked me if I was playing music with anyone. When I said no, he said I should come over and jam with them some time.
"Jamming" with people is 100% associated by me with drinking. My mind went into an IMMEDIATE panic! Panic! I wanted to stop trying to "stop" drinking almost immediately. I don't usually drink in the early afternoon, but after this encounter with my friend, it was all I could do not to run to the liquor store, purchase a beer, and pour it down my throat so I could just end this horribly uncomfortable feeling--the tension created by this ambivalence--knowing I need to stop and being committed to stopping, and the part of me that doesn't really want to stop--is making my brain feel like it's going to cleave in to two at times!
Even going to my Mother in Law's house is a cause for pause. Whenever family is there, a LOT of drinking goes on.
Even certain music does it to me. I'll be listening to the radio, and the DJ will put some super funky dance track on, and WHAM! I get that sick feeling that I will "never" be able to get my buzz on and dance all night again.
I know I'm not drinking "just for today." But you know, that I know, that you know, I'm trying to stay stopped for longer than just today, and my brain knows that too.
Getting hit by that feeling is like nothing I've experienced before. It's all I can do to not run to the nearest bar and or liquor store and just give in. I even start imagining how relieved I would feel.
So far, I've kept riding it out. I feel the panic rise, and I just ride it out until it passes, which so far, it has after a while. If I'm at home when it hits, I come here and post my thoughts, and that seems to distract me long enough for it to pass. Reading other people's stories of relapse also helps me to find the strength to ride it out. But man oh man! What a crazy, uncomfortable psychological experience. It really, sucks. I find it so weird, I mean, it's my brain, why the hell aren't I in charge of these thoughts and feelings. Man.
I'm trying to view this as a scientific experiment, so that I can try to remain objective about it, but boy. Yeah, wow. YIKES. I hope this starts to fade. I really want to play music with people. I don't want to wait 3 months until I can handle it, but is that what I have to do? Crap!
Anyway, that's it.
Cheers.
This truly is a crazy experiment. I'm almost at 3 weeks, (counting, counting, counting the days... like makin' marks on a prison wall!) and while I'm not really completely losing it, when the urge to drink strikes, boy is it a doozey!
I may never have had a full blown "physical dependency," as in, I didn't drink daily, or in the morning or the shower, or the car. I'm a binge drinker with blackouts and hellish hangovers--that were getting increasingly worse. However, since recovering from my last drinking episode and subsequent nightmare of hangover, other than craving sugar, I've had no physical symptoms that I can discern.
Where I'm going with this is: Krykie! The psychological part of this addiction is no freakin' picinic! Have I trained my brain to want alcohol at certain times/events/and occasions?
Here's the thing, I'd say about 80-90% of the day I'm O.K. Not always great, but not freaking out. However, when I run into people--friends and acquaintances that I've drank or partied with, I panic! They instantly remind me of "fun" drinking. I ran into a friend out and about that I haven't seen in a while, with whom I've shared beers, stayed up late and played music with. He and I shot the breeze, and he asked me if I was playing music with anyone. When I said no, he said I should come over and jam with them some time.
"Jamming" with people is 100% associated by me with drinking. My mind went into an IMMEDIATE panic! Panic! I wanted to stop trying to "stop" drinking almost immediately. I don't usually drink in the early afternoon, but after this encounter with my friend, it was all I could do not to run to the liquor store, purchase a beer, and pour it down my throat so I could just end this horribly uncomfortable feeling--the tension created by this ambivalence--knowing I need to stop and being committed to stopping, and the part of me that doesn't really want to stop--is making my brain feel like it's going to cleave in to two at times!
Even going to my Mother in Law's house is a cause for pause. Whenever family is there, a LOT of drinking goes on.
Even certain music does it to me. I'll be listening to the radio, and the DJ will put some super funky dance track on, and WHAM! I get that sick feeling that I will "never" be able to get my buzz on and dance all night again.
I know I'm not drinking "just for today." But you know, that I know, that you know, I'm trying to stay stopped for longer than just today, and my brain knows that too.
Getting hit by that feeling is like nothing I've experienced before. It's all I can do to not run to the nearest bar and or liquor store and just give in. I even start imagining how relieved I would feel.
So far, I've kept riding it out. I feel the panic rise, and I just ride it out until it passes, which so far, it has after a while. If I'm at home when it hits, I come here and post my thoughts, and that seems to distract me long enough for it to pass. Reading other people's stories of relapse also helps me to find the strength to ride it out. But man oh man! What a crazy, uncomfortable psychological experience. It really, sucks. I find it so weird, I mean, it's my brain, why the hell aren't I in charge of these thoughts and feelings. Man.
I'm trying to view this as a scientific experiment, so that I can try to remain objective about it, but boy. Yeah, wow. YIKES. I hope this starts to fade. I really want to play music with people. I don't want to wait 3 months until I can handle it, but is that what I have to do? Crap!
Anyway, that's it.
Cheers.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 56
I had a difficult time with this because I almost always drank alone, at home. Usually watching sports. Even when I was drinking daily, I'd go to happy hours at bars with friends and co-workers and I almost never had a sip of alcohol... largely because I knew I was hitting the store on the way home for a fifth of vodka or 2-4 bottles of wine. A DUI would have serious ramifications on my career so I avoided situations where the possibility of driving drunk would come up. Hence, I drank at home.
When I made the decision to quit, I couldn't exactly avoid being in my home. Dealing with that was one of the toughest parts of quitting (along with the insomina in the early stages). It is still tough at times, but it is something that simply has to be dealt with if I am going to be successful. And I am going to be successful.
When I made the decision to quit, I couldn't exactly avoid being in my home. Dealing with that was one of the toughest parts of quitting (along with the insomina in the early stages). It is still tough at times, but it is something that simply has to be dealt with if I am going to be successful. And I am going to be successful.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 95
GForce, I'm new to this and am not 100% sure yet with the whole quitting for good thing....I'm trying for a month and will see where I go from there.
Past times where I have significant (ish) periods of not drinking, I've totally felt the feelings you describe and I'm right with you, it's a horrible feeling, ugh!
This is a big question for me too, how to get past these feelings when they come?
Past times where I have significant (ish) periods of not drinking, I've totally felt the feelings you describe and I'm right with you, it's a horrible feeling, ugh!
This is a big question for me too, how to get past these feelings when they come?
as a sober contributor
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: California
Posts: 1,312
" Have I trained my brain to want alcohol at certain times/events/and occasions? "
YES, you have definitely done that..... but in time these feeling will begin to fade and eventually subside. You just need to figure out a knew routine.
I had the same problem but I was much like EFC the last 5 years. I gave up the bar scene and the group of alcoholics that I drank with for about 10 years and started drinking at home alone. So much more responsible to buy cases of beer and stock the fridge, instead of driving, right?? I would wait till 4 or 5 in the afternoon and then it would be barley pops till bedtime. It just became routine, until I had a massive Gout attack.
Not everyone can just stop drinking but the pain I was in was so severe that I convinced myself that I didnt have any other choice. About 198 days ago it just clicked and I havent had a beer since. After getting drunk every night for the past 35 years, I was over it....
I bet if you mentioned to your friend that you had decided to stop drinking but would really like to get together to jam w/o alcohol and described it as a new adventure into a more meaningful musical experience, he would be open to giving it a try. Just think how much better you would play if you were not inebriated! Maybe try having him come over to your house and supply a variety of non alcoholic drinks and some food instead?
If he isnt receptive, then you may want to wait a few weeks until you are more secure in your sobriety but I bet, eventually, you'll be able to handle having other people drink around you. Hopefully, it wont take 3 months!
3 weeks is a great achievment and an excellent start on slaying the beast!
Those feelings and thoughts are just your AV talking and in time you will learn to ignore it. Soon after, it will disappear.
Regardless, the most important thing is your sobriety. Congratulations on 3 weeks sober!
YES, you have definitely done that..... but in time these feeling will begin to fade and eventually subside. You just need to figure out a knew routine.
I had the same problem but I was much like EFC the last 5 years. I gave up the bar scene and the group of alcoholics that I drank with for about 10 years and started drinking at home alone. So much more responsible to buy cases of beer and stock the fridge, instead of driving, right?? I would wait till 4 or 5 in the afternoon and then it would be barley pops till bedtime. It just became routine, until I had a massive Gout attack.
Not everyone can just stop drinking but the pain I was in was so severe that I convinced myself that I didnt have any other choice. About 198 days ago it just clicked and I havent had a beer since. After getting drunk every night for the past 35 years, I was over it....
I bet if you mentioned to your friend that you had decided to stop drinking but would really like to get together to jam w/o alcohol and described it as a new adventure into a more meaningful musical experience, he would be open to giving it a try. Just think how much better you would play if you were not inebriated! Maybe try having him come over to your house and supply a variety of non alcoholic drinks and some food instead?
If he isnt receptive, then you may want to wait a few weeks until you are more secure in your sobriety but I bet, eventually, you'll be able to handle having other people drink around you. Hopefully, it wont take 3 months!
3 weeks is a great achievment and an excellent start on slaying the beast!
Those feelings and thoughts are just your AV talking and in time you will learn to ignore it. Soon after, it will disappear.
Regardless, the most important thing is your sobriety. Congratulations on 3 weeks sober!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I hope this starts to fade. I really want to play music with people. I don't want to wait 3 months until I can handle it, but is that what I have to do? Crap!
I know by the end jamming was for me probably more about getting high and drunk than making music. That's not a great place for a muso to end up...it's really soul destroying.
I took time out...as much time as it took for me to be able to go anywhere and do anything and stay true to what I knew was right for me.
For me that was longer than 3 months, but everyone's different.
I even changed the people I played with...bong breaks every 10 minutes and frequent ducking out to the liquor store really annoyed me in the early days when I got back into it... so I found some abstinent Christian guys to jam with.
I was prepared to do whatever it took, I guess?
D
Fellow Traveler and Seeker
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 2,408
We all have associations with drinking. For you, music in different guises and forms does it for you. My associations were the days of the week...lol. Like EFC and Hope4Life, I was a home drinker, so bars and such don't bother me at all. An empty house would be an association I had for sure. Cooking was an association.
In the end, it's about changing thinking patterns and behaviors. For me, that came through working the steps in AA. In doing so, I am free to go where I please, whenever I please without having to worry about the association between whatever it is in front of me and alcohol (and believe me, pretty much anything in front of me was an association to alcohol).
Your sobriety needs to come first. It's up to you to do what you want, but putting yourself in a dangerous situation where drinking has a strong persuasion on you is not prudent in such early recovery. Just my opinion, of course.
Best of luck
In the end, it's about changing thinking patterns and behaviors. For me, that came through working the steps in AA. In doing so, I am free to go where I please, whenever I please without having to worry about the association between whatever it is in front of me and alcohol (and believe me, pretty much anything in front of me was an association to alcohol).
Your sobriety needs to come first. It's up to you to do what you want, but putting yourself in a dangerous situation where drinking has a strong persuasion on you is not prudent in such early recovery. Just my opinion, of course.
Best of luck
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Out west
Posts: 191
When ever I feel like that I question as to whether or not I'm falling prey to illusory thinking. Firstly, am I romanticizing/glorifying the so called 'fun times', and secondly, am I giving to much credit to alcohol for the 'fun times'. For me, alcohol typically brought the 'fun times' to a rather unpleasant end.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
Gforce, three weeks is great and a long time yet it's a very short time....eh?
associations with people, places and things can be very strong, and some might not even make sense entirely. for example, i had a strong association with drinking and my oldest daughter, even though we never drank together.
what helped me big time was to stay with the urges and try to go behind them, see what the feeling was. with my daughter, for example, i realized that the urge to drink had to do with a certain tension between us, and seeing that helped because i could then, in a very real way, let go of that getting-drunk-urge and give attention to that damn tension.
i found that many associations weren't so much about the immediate association as about the feelings behind them. music was a biggy, and that was mostly because of what it evokes, states of mind, emotions and memories...
no, you don't want to wait three months, but this won't all go exactly as you want it to.
i had to wait more than 3 months to do a few things comfortably.
it will come, give it the time it/you need.
associations with people, places and things can be very strong, and some might not even make sense entirely. for example, i had a strong association with drinking and my oldest daughter, even though we never drank together.
what helped me big time was to stay with the urges and try to go behind them, see what the feeling was. with my daughter, for example, i realized that the urge to drink had to do with a certain tension between us, and seeing that helped because i could then, in a very real way, let go of that getting-drunk-urge and give attention to that damn tension.
i found that many associations weren't so much about the immediate association as about the feelings behind them. music was a biggy, and that was mostly because of what it evokes, states of mind, emotions and memories...
no, you don't want to wait three months, but this won't all go exactly as you want it to.
i had to wait more than 3 months to do a few things comfortably.
it will come, give it the time it/you need.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: TX
Posts: 137
For me it's every weekend, socials, and payday. When my brothers come over they are always drinking and it's very difficult.
I would get the craving for anything sugary, too. After a while, it doesn't work anymore and my AV gets smart and realizes I'm just tricking it... and then it gets mad and hits me with mind-crippling cravings. It really sucks.
I really wish I had some advice but I haven't figured out how to deal with it, either... I just white knuckle which works most of the time but not all the time.
I would get the craving for anything sugary, too. After a while, it doesn't work anymore and my AV gets smart and realizes I'm just tricking it... and then it gets mad and hits me with mind-crippling cravings. It really sucks.
I really wish I had some advice but I haven't figured out how to deal with it, either... I just white knuckle which works most of the time but not all the time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 443
Wow,
Thanks guy's, everybody's got a lot of great advice. I can also see now that this is just par for the course when quitting drinking.
Also, everybody's given me a lot of different advice about what I should do about playing music with people. What I'm getting from all that different advice is this: I think I really need to listen to what my brain/body is telling me on this one. If I'm experiencing any anxiety about it before hand, then maybe it would be best to skip it.
That kind of sucks for this reason: I've been a sort of intermediate closet player for years, and in the last year, I've pushed myself to go out and play with people, and I want to get better and I'm raring to learn from people and play with people. I also sing, and I'm dying to get this show on the road! But what the hell, what's a few months, really.
Also, a lot of other people have associations with drinking at home--and actually I do too, my husband and I usually have beer a few times a week, and we often kind of "party" at home together on the weekends. So that's there, but for some reason it isn't as strong of a pull I guess--since I am a raging extrovert life of the party social drinking type, that's mostly where my associations lie.
However, I too have associations with drinking and cooking! I do a lot of cooking, and I am kind of a foodie, so I do a lot of cooking with wine and occasionally spirits. I'm going to avoid that like the plague for a while, but I hope I will be able to return to that at some point too. I'm sure there must be pro chefs out there who are sober and are required by their jobs to use booze in their food. Also, contrary to what I've heard other people say on these forums, if you cook the wine/booze long enough, the alcohol does burn off! It's just for flavor.
Also, a lot of people talk about A.A (the steps) or other methods helping them to not "white knuckle it" through the cravings/urges.
Personally, here's what I think: All these "techniques" are trying to get you to distract your brain from the urges, and we all have ways of handling that, but my opinion, none of them really stop you from that feeling of "white knuckling it" in the beginning. I don't think that any method has magical properties that remove your desire and keep you from suffering at times. Maybe they help you cope to get through it so you don't cave in, but stopping that feeling altogether...uh no.
I try to distract my self by coming here and writing out what I'm feeling to the world of other recover'ers, which to me is little like "sharing" at a meeting. Or, I just come here and read aaaaallllll the stories about people having to start over with their sobriety, and that's usually enough to get me past it.
Conscious breathing, talking back to my thoughts, doing something nice for myself--spoiling myself in some other way, distracting myself, etc, are all strategies I'm using to get through it. I actually use my experience going through labor as well: mine was excruciating, long and un-medicated until the end. The only way I could get through those painful contractions was to tell my self that "this to, will pass--I probably won't die, and in the end I will have a beautiful baby and I won't be in pain. It WILL end." And, it did.
So thanks again SR community. I appreciate everyone's advice, opinion, support, and validation. Coming here really helps me and I'm glad I found this forum!
Thanks guy's, everybody's got a lot of great advice. I can also see now that this is just par for the course when quitting drinking.
Also, everybody's given me a lot of different advice about what I should do about playing music with people. What I'm getting from all that different advice is this: I think I really need to listen to what my brain/body is telling me on this one. If I'm experiencing any anxiety about it before hand, then maybe it would be best to skip it.
That kind of sucks for this reason: I've been a sort of intermediate closet player for years, and in the last year, I've pushed myself to go out and play with people, and I want to get better and I'm raring to learn from people and play with people. I also sing, and I'm dying to get this show on the road! But what the hell, what's a few months, really.
Also, a lot of other people have associations with drinking at home--and actually I do too, my husband and I usually have beer a few times a week, and we often kind of "party" at home together on the weekends. So that's there, but for some reason it isn't as strong of a pull I guess--since I am a raging extrovert life of the party social drinking type, that's mostly where my associations lie.
Originally Posted by paul99 
We all have associations with drinking. For you, music in different guises and forms does it for you......I was a home drinker, so bars and such don't bother me at all. An empty house would be an association I had for sure. Cooking was an association.
Best of luck
Best of luck
Also, a lot of people talk about A.A (the steps) or other methods helping them to not "white knuckle it" through the cravings/urges.
Personally, here's what I think: All these "techniques" are trying to get you to distract your brain from the urges, and we all have ways of handling that, but my opinion, none of them really stop you from that feeling of "white knuckling it" in the beginning. I don't think that any method has magical properties that remove your desire and keep you from suffering at times. Maybe they help you cope to get through it so you don't cave in, but stopping that feeling altogether...uh no.
I try to distract my self by coming here and writing out what I'm feeling to the world of other recover'ers, which to me is little like "sharing" at a meeting. Or, I just come here and read aaaaallllll the stories about people having to start over with their sobriety, and that's usually enough to get me past it.
Conscious breathing, talking back to my thoughts, doing something nice for myself--spoiling myself in some other way, distracting myself, etc, are all strategies I'm using to get through it. I actually use my experience going through labor as well: mine was excruciating, long and un-medicated until the end. The only way I could get through those painful contractions was to tell my self that "this to, will pass--I probably won't die, and in the end I will have a beautiful baby and I won't be in pain. It WILL end." And, it did.
So thanks again SR community. I appreciate everyone's advice, opinion, support, and validation. Coming here really helps me and I'm glad I found this forum!
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
I find it so weird, I mean, it's my brain, why the hell aren't I in charge of these thoughts and feelings. Man.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: SoCal, California
Posts: 990
Hey Gforce - always like your posts.
Very...lively!
I was getting into that in the last couple years too. The thing that's helping me deal with the music is that I take a lot of pride in my creative work. I work in the visual arts too.
The thing I always hated was people commenting on a piece they liked a lot and saying, "Wow! You must have really been loaded when you came up with that." The truth is I wasn't loaded when I did my best work. And I resented the implication that it was the drug that came up with the quality work.
I resent now that alcohol has gotten into my music - to the point where I started to think I could play better when I was loaded. But now that kind of makes me mad. I really don't want to have to resort to anything other than ME to play well. Even to the point that initially I'm now playing a little worse. But I know the old juju will come back. And it will be ALL ME.
Hang in there - you can do it!
Very...lively!
Jamming" with people is 100% associated by me with drinking.
The thing I always hated was people commenting on a piece they liked a lot and saying, "Wow! You must have really been loaded when you came up with that." The truth is I wasn't loaded when I did my best work. And I resented the implication that it was the drug that came up with the quality work.
I resent now that alcohol has gotten into my music - to the point where I started to think I could play better when I was loaded. But now that kind of makes me mad. I really don't want to have to resort to anything other than ME to play well. Even to the point that initially I'm now playing a little worse. But I know the old juju will come back. And it will be ALL ME.
Hang in there - you can do it!
Fellow Traveler and Seeker
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 2,408
Originally Posted by Gforce23
I'm sure there must be pro chefs out there who are sober and are required by their jobs to use booze in their food.
I use alcohol often at work (not at home), and to me now, it's just another ingredient.
But as to your thoughts, like soberlicious said, they are just there,and it's how we react to them. Thoughts aren't "good" or "bad", just like a chair isn't "good" or "bad" - it's the value or designation or weight we put on it that makes it what it is to us. Let thoughts pass. It will relieve you of a lot of stress.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Also, everybody's given me a lot of different advice about what I should do about playing music with people. What I'm getting from all that different advice is this: I think I really need to listen to what my brain/body is telling me on this one. If I'm experiencing any anxiety about it before hand, then maybe it would be best to skip it.
That kind of sucks for this reason: I've been a sort of intermediate closet player for years, and in the last year, I've pushed myself to go out and play with people, and I want to get better and I'm raring to learn from people and play with people. I also sing, and I'm dying to get this show on the road! But what the hell, what's a few months, really.
That kind of sucks for this reason: I've been a sort of intermediate closet player for years, and in the last year, I've pushed myself to go out and play with people, and I want to get better and I'm raring to learn from people and play with people. I also sing, and I'm dying to get this show on the road! But what the hell, what's a few months, really.
I decided on musician
When I jam or play now it's for the love of music.
I'm not interested in drinking or smoking anything.
I just really love music and the feeling you get when it all comes together...or you're improvising and you've all got the coolest collective ESP thing going.
There's no chemical high can touch that experience IMO
If, like me, it takes you a few months to decide which has the greater pull - musician or 'party hard dude' rock star - then so be it, I think gforce
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Calgary, Canada
Posts: 69
I find that while I don't want to provoke myself needlessly, I don't want go an extra mile to avoid any situation that might trigger cravings. I feel that if I want to stay sober, I really have to learn to live with it all: staying at home alone, cooking with wine, going to birthday parties and other celebrations, going to the hockey games, rodeos, concerts, spending vacations, going camping, cleaning my room, shopping, surviving fights with my husband and work stress, etc. etc. etc SOBER. You can only avoid all these "triggers" for so long, at some point you have to learn to live and enjoy things without being intoxicated (not enjoying stress and fights but gotta live with these too=P).
If you love music, I am sure you can enjoy it for what it is. Like Dee said, "There's no chemical high can touch that experience".
If you love music, I am sure you can enjoy it for what it is. Like Dee said, "There's no chemical high can touch that experience".
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 443
Originally Posted by soberlicious
You don't need to be in charge of the thoughts. Thoughts are constantly coming and going, such is the nature of the mind...all different thoughts 24/7, many we aren't even conscious of. Instead of focusing on controlling the thoughts, being in charge of them, you just need to be in charge of your reaction to them. That is what you have been doing. Good job. Practice makes perfect.
Yeah, that should probably be my mantra for a LOT of thoughts, and not just the drinking thoughts: The HOLY CRAP THE WINGS ARE GOING TO FALL OFF THIS PLANE!!! thoughts, the SOMETHING TERRIBLE IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO MY SON, thoughts, the Nobody at this Party, Event, Class, or Mom's group (especially the Mom's group!) is going to like me or their going to think I'm really weird or to intense thoughts, the HOLY CRAP IF I GET UP HERE AND PLAY MUSIC IN FRONT OF PEOPLE I WILL MAKE MISTAKES AND THEY WILL LAUGH AT ME thoughts....
Yeah. Man, I got a lot of seriously f*&ked UP thoughts that are wreaking havoc in my life! Sometimes I feel really sad that I'm 42 years old and I've really held myself back from doing things that I want to do because of these damn THOUGHTS. So much time wasted. So much time wasted being wasted!
Stupid thoughts.
I am going to keep practicing Soberlicious. I'm going to think of it like mastering mental Kung Fu.
Thanks everyone!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 443
Originally Posted by terrazinaa
I find that while I don't want to provoke myself needlessly, I don't want go an extra mile to avoid any situation that might trigger cravings. I feel that if I want to stay sober, I really have to learn to live with it all: staying at home alone, cooking with wine, going to birthday parties and other celebrations, going to the hockey games, rodeos, concerts, spending vacations, going camping, cleaning my room, shopping, surviving fights with my husband and work stress, etc. etc. etc SOBER. You can only avoid all these "triggers" for so long, at some point you have to learn to live and enjoy things without being intoxicated (not enjoying stress and fights but gotta live with these too=P).
If you love music, I am sure you can enjoy it for what it is. Like Dee said, "There's no chemical high can touch that experience".
If you love music, I am sure you can enjoy it for what it is. Like Dee said, "There's no chemical high can touch that experience".
And before I get jumped on for referring to drinking as fun--parts of it WERE fun! LOT'S of fun. Yes, absolutely there were and are lots of sh***y consequences, but my brain has a really hard time conjuring up those memories in a way that would cancel out the "fun" drinking thoughts, especially when confronted with a situation that is one of my favorite drinking arenas. So, I think I better not for a little while longer.
I think will certainly get to a point when I can do all this stuff sober without being in danger of caving in. I quit cold turkey when I found out I was pregnant, and I went out dancing all the time. Sometimes, I did wish I could drink beer when I was out, and no, it wasn't quite the same, but I remember coming home and feeling like "hey, I can go out and dance and have a good time, and not drink!" So I know it IS possible.
Cheers.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
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Originally Posted by Gforce23
I've really held myself back from doing things that I want to do because of these damn THOUGHTS.
Originally Posted by Gforce23
I think will certainly get to a point when I can do all this stuff sober without being in danger of caving in.
I know quite a few musicians. The ones who drink too much sound like sh*t by the end of the night. There is nothing cool about slurring, forgetting lyrics, and looking like a foo.
oh and ps Dee...are you kidding me?! You are SO a rock star!!
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 443
Originally Posted by soberlicious
As paul99 said...it's not the thoughts that are causing you to suffer, it's the power you are giving them. It's the significance you are assigning them that cause your suffering.
Shoot, maybe if I'd done that, I'd be dealing with this better already. Oh well, no use crying over spilled milk.
It may be true that I give that thought power, but the emotional reaction I have to some of those thoughts is immediate, and visceral. Have you ever heard the phrase "Neuron's that fire together wire together?" It's about brain plasticity and how it actually shapes our responses to things over time. So, disassociating the feeling from the thought is not something I believe we are able to do instantaneously-- like you said Soberlicious, it takes practice to re-wire those neuron's. Being conscious of the thought>reaction process in the first place is at least a start.
I will keep practicing! I'm going to look at it like a gym work out for the brain. Though I must say, I find getting physically stronger a whole lot more enjoyable!
Thanks guys n' gals.
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