james2013

Hi this is my first post on here I have finally decided to look for help with my alcohol problem and decided to start on the internet for help before going to see a doctor.

I am 23 years old and have had a problem with alcohol since the age of 19. I used to drink a beer or two after work everyday and it quickly became 4 per day. nothing crazy just socialising with friends and family every night and drinking 4 beers, I didnt realise I had an addiction until a few years passed and I was forced into situations where I couldnt drink (on antibiotics, having to drive at night)

It then moved onto drinking more and more and becoming less social, I would quite happily sit on my own and drink 4-8 beers in the week and 8-12 beers on the weekends, not only beer but anything I could get my hands on (vodka, wine etc.)

last year at the age of 22 I decided enough was enough and I was going to quit drinking and found a great hobby in going to the gym for bodybuilding and fitness. I started off really well and managed to completely stop drinking during the week but still drinking on friday or saturdays which I was happy with but as the weeks went on the cravings got worse and worse and I kept giving in and drinking for 4/5 of the 7 days in a week.

Although I made big improvements my binge drinking has actually got worse, the only person who knows the extent of my addiction is my girlfriend who I live with and every week for the past year I have been telling her I am definately going to stop and I last a few days then keep going back to the drink.

So let me try and explain what I am feeling and the pattern that keeps occuring.

- On the sunday I say 'right i've had enough, from tomorrow I'm quitting'
- on the monday I get slight cravings but have enough willpower to hold out and focus on the gym and positive things in my life
- on the tuesday I am super focused/determined to keep it up and happy I'm not drinking
- by the wednesday the cravings start creeping in bad... sometimes I give in/sometimes I don't
- by the thursday I get depressed and the cravings are unbearable
- by the friday I'm on an all out binge for the whole weekend aswell
- by sunday night (where I am now) it repeats to wanting to stop again.

So can anyone help me deal with these cravings I am getting? basically when I don't drink for a few days this is what happens:

- I get depressed
- nothing I do compares to when I'm drinking
- I doubt why I go to the gym and is it all really worth it
- I think 'f*** it you only live once might aswell enjoy life'
- a bad day at work can trigger cravings
- an argument with someone can trigger cravings

sorry for rambling on but had to get this off my chest!

thanks

Nonsensical

Welcome. Keep reading in this forum. I am only 6 days sober, but I am finding loads of useful advice on how to cope without alcohol.

I was depressed as could be 5 days ago. Think positively, you're in a good place.

Anna

Welcome and good for you for deciding to stop drinking.

One thing to remember is that stopping drinking is the beginning. It's at that point that the real hard work begins. I needed to deal with emotions I'd been running from, from the fact that I wasn't honest about myself, and realizing that I didn't really like myself very much. I had to change everything from the inside out.

I'm glad you're talking to your dr.

james2013

thanks

do you have any good ways to prevent cravings? or on how to deal with them?

vegibean

I think most of the time, we already know the answers. What is it that you think keeps you going back? Not enough consequences? Repeating the same thing throughout the week? How about changing things around and doing something different? Certainly going to the gym is excellent, but maybe doing something different will help.

Have you considered going to an AA meeting?

Getting past the week without drinking can keep you going and then motivated for the next week.

What about saving the money you have and putting it in a jar and see how much you have at the end of the month and maybe go buy a cool new toy? Something for your house.

Welcome to SR, I hope you'll stick around and keep posting, there are tons of great people here, tons of support.

LindaLou

Hi james & welcome. I'm 22 days sober now. Most days I have cravings and the only thing I can do about them is to ignore them. I also still get depressed. I do find that as time goes by, the cravings and mood swings lessen. I just keep telling myself...I will not drink today. Reading the postings here also helps. Sometimes, just knowing that I'm not alone is a big comfort.

freshstart57

Welcome, james2013, glad you found us here.

Cravings? There are several excellent techniques for dealing with cravings. One is mindfulness, sometimes called Urge Surfing. SoberRecovery has a great article on urge surfing too.

Another technique that is similar is called AVRT or addictive voice recognition technique. It uses the idea once you have decided to quit drinking, the urge to drink again comes from your desire for a buzz, not from you. By separating what you want from your habit or dependency, it becomes easier to understand that the urge you experience is only a thought and the thought has no power of its own. You have control of your actions, not your addiction.

If that idea appeals to you, it's easy to find lots of info about AVRT. It is also a popular topic on the Secular Connections forum.

britabroad

Hi James, I'm new to this too so don't have a lot of advice to offer you, but just wanted you to know I identify with a lot of your post and know how you feel as regards cravings etc.

You are most certainly not alone!

bostonluv

Wow. Your post was remarkable. Thank you for sharing it with me today because you more than "qualified" yourself as an alcoholic. You will fit right in here and at AA meetings if they interest you. Please do check them out. They will feel alien to you and your brain will say, Oh no! Not this! I'll quit on my own.

But you cannot quit alone. It's frustratingly true. No one has been able to do it. You must do it with others. This website is a great start on this long journey. Don't be discouraged. You have begun the battle against this deadly disease. Thank you for sharing. It has blessed me to hear that it's still bad "out there" and that my abstinence from booze is the right decision. I love being a Quitter!!

DaveyT

Ok i'm going to break these down and answer from my own experience and what I have read from others.

"I get depressed"

During the acute stage of withdrawal depression is very common. Your brains chemistry has been messed up and when the alcohol goes missing it tries to balance things out again. Depression and anxiety are the big two effects but lots of others come into it. Acute withdrawal usually lasts between 7-12 days and then you get the post acute effects.

The other possibility is that you are depressed and self medicating with alcohol. The only way to find out is to give it up for a prolonged period and see if the depression lifts. If it doesn't then see your doctor.

nothing I do compares to when I'm drinking

Sad fact of anyone with an addiction is that nothing really compares to it. The longest I've been sober so far is 2 months but after those 2 months I had managed to fill my life with lots of other things. I would still rather have reached for a drink and eventually I did, but of course now I regret it because as nice as alcohol is the guilt and shame that go along with drinking are not worth it.

I doubt why I go to the gym and is it all really worth it

Yes, yes it is. Exercise is one of the best things you can do for a number of reasons. Firstly it releases endorphins which make you feel good and help you stay sober. Second it helps repair some of the damage you have done. Third it fills part of your day so you can't drink at least while you're doing it and finally it improves your self esteem to look good by building your body. Better self esteem, easier to deal with stress, less chance you will drink.

I think 'f*** it you only live once might aswell enjoy life'

Yeah I think lots of us have tried that one but lets face it, is it worth the guilt? Here is the thing, there is story after story on this forum of the damage alcohol eventually does not only to your health but everything else in your life. It will take everything from you, health, job, relationships, there are even people who end up on the street. Doesn't sound that enjoyable for the one life we get.

a bad day at work can trigger cravings

Somone above linked a helpful guide to dealing with cravings, try out the techniques. But understand they are techniques, not cures. There will come a point when only your will can stop you drinking. So many times I have sat just trying to resist, or paced across a bedroom for hours until they go away. I like to repeat the negative effects it has on my health, think about the shame it causes when I drink, how it will kill me if I continue and all of that. Stress is a big trigger for pretty much everyone.

an argument with someone can trigger cravings

This is stress again really. If you know the effects it will have then you can prepare for them.

Good luck and well done on staying sober so far.

Hevyn

Welcome to the family, James. I think you'll be glad you joined us. It's comforting to have others who understand what you're going through. For me, I had no one in my life who got it - they were all social drinkers who could take it or leave it. I tried to be like my friends, but once I took those first sips, there was no telling where it would take me.

I had a similar pattern as yours when I was younger. Unlike you (and many others here) I didn't have the sense to seek help or even acknowledge I had a problem back then. I'd been drinking for 30 yrs. when I realized I was totally dependent on it. I drank all day, and no amount was ever enough. I felt my life coming to an end - I could no longer kid myself that willpower would ever help me to have 'one or two'. Stopping all together was the only answer.

I have rebuilt my life, but I grieve for the lost years. You won't have to, James. You're realizing at a young age what needs to happen. Congratulations for getting off the merry-go-round and reaching out for a better life.
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peanut44

One of the things that works for me is getting thru as much time as i can. The more days i have, the stronger i feel. Plus my head clears up and i make better decisions with each day.

Keep busy. Go to a meeting if you can. Just don't entertain those thoughts for too long. I get really trapped in that circular thinking.

Keep posting and reading other people's posts. You will really find that you are not alone!! That's a good feeling:=)

DaveyT

I really agree with this. The longer you are sober the stronger you feel because your brain starts working like it should instead of working half speed on the alcohol. Cravings do get easier that's for sure with the occasional day where you get a bad one.

I also find having previously had some months under my belt makes me feel like I can do at least that long again and hopefully this time stay off for good. Having gone through withdrawal before there is some comfort in knowing what to expect.

least

to SR! We're here to help you with support and encouragement. You're smart to quit so young. By quitting young you won't have a ton of regrets when you're my age.

Dee74

some great advice here James

I think many of us are familiar with that cycle - posting here regaularly really helped me break it.

It's harder to say 'well maybe I don't have a problem' when you're here posting and reading...and the support really helps with the cravings too.

Check out the Class of February thread too - lots of others just starting out there too

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-2013-a-3.html

welcome to SR

D

Spinach

You can do it ! Maybe looking at your life as a series of weeks isn't helping.
Firstly you've got to plan have non alcoholic drinks lots of them , I got stuck on apple and elderflower juice and tea.
And the first 72 hours were the most difficult not to drink then I had a few weeks of bouncing emotions , as long as I reminded myself what they were it wasn't that bad , but then I'd been drinking for 30 years. Don't let that happen to you . You found here so you know you want to.
For positives you might have to look firstly at the cash saving and then if you sleep better that and soon enough you will be seeing your relationship with your partner improve as you can give more time and then you'll see how much better life is without drinking and like those 3D pictures people would stare at until they popped out at you life will become so so much better.
Oh and if you drink then stop and start again try and get to one more day than the last then let your pride take over.
Stay in touch here it's very helpful.
Good luck.
John.