life BA... before alanon
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: northern minnesota
Posts: 269
life BA... before alanon
i was just momentarily having a weakness and thinking (just for a moment) that i kind of missed the A in my life. (pulling out my not so rose colored glasses and cleaning them as i speak) and it got me thinking....
ever known something was painful or bad for you.. but in a moment of weakness it didnt seem that bad any more?
for example.. once.. my mom opened the bedroom door and ran it over my hands when i was a kid.. broke eight of my knuckles when i jerked them up. was extremely painful. and yet right now... it didnt seem that bad. lol
so... along with the pains of natural child birth.... what else in life have you found to be painful.. but preferable to living a "BA" (before alanon) life?
ever known something was painful or bad for you.. but in a moment of weakness it didnt seem that bad any more?
for example.. once.. my mom opened the bedroom door and ran it over my hands when i was a kid.. broke eight of my knuckles when i jerked them up. was extremely painful. and yet right now... it didnt seem that bad. lol
so... along with the pains of natural child birth.... what else in life have you found to be painful.. but preferable to living a "BA" (before alanon) life?
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
I have an eidetic (photographic) memory. Therefore, I can't wish for something that is gone that I knew was bad for me. There are pictures burned in my memory of what life was like "BR" (Before Recovery).
I don't ever want to go back there.
I was not a happy person then. I was not doing anything positive or good for myself. Hell, I was not doing anything for myself at all. I was too busy running around trying to fix everyone else's lives.
I don't forget the painful moments at all. I remember them so as not to go back to those places in my life again.
Peace,
Gabe
I don't ever want to go back there.
I was not a happy person then. I was not doing anything positive or good for myself. Hell, I was not doing anything for myself at all. I was too busy running around trying to fix everyone else's lives.
I don't forget the painful moments at all. I remember them so as not to go back to those places in my life again.
Peace,
Gabe
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: close to the FLAMES!!
Posts: 129
Re: life BA... before alanon
Well- besides toxic relationships- smoking comes to mind. I quit when I got pregnant the last time, always told myself that if I ever got pregnant again I would definitely quit, so I did cold turkey the morning after I took my preg. test. Then- one day when my son was 3 months old, I somehow convinced myself that I could do it- that my life would be better if I took that one smoke. 2 years later, I am back smoking, regretting that choice!! (yeah, I can always quit again, LOL!).
Like I said though- the toxic relationship that I "missed" when my rose-colored glasses were on really was nothing too good for me. When I think of the lying and cheating, the crap, it really doesn't seem too appealing though. But trust me- I have had to make a conscious effort to remember not the once in a while good times, but what it was like in the bad times too.
Like I said though- the toxic relationship that I "missed" when my rose-colored glasses were on really was nothing too good for me. When I think of the lying and cheating, the crap, it really doesn't seem too appealing though. But trust me- I have had to make a conscious effort to remember not the once in a while good times, but what it was like in the bad times too.
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