Dealing with some depression since I quit drinking
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Wichita
Posts: 20
Dealing with some depression since I quit drinking
Hi all, I have 32 days sober now for which I am very thankful. I haven't really had the urge to drink and while I am proud of myself for making this change the truth is life hasn't changed that much. I mean, it has in the fact that I feel better and I haven't been hungover lol but inside I still feel kinda empty. I've read that this may be paws and I'm not crying into my pillow at night I just feel depressed, unmotivated, and overall just blah. I can't bring myself to do anything except go to work (which I really need to be finding a different job as I work pt for minimum wage and my child support isn't getting paid) and sit mostly by myself. I know this is not healthy behavior and I want it to change but damn if I can find the proper motivation in myself to do so :/ I'm just wondering if anyone else went through this after quitting and what helped them. I do attend meetings but it's kinda hard to get back and forth as I do not have a car and the guy I can ride to them with only goes a few days here and there because of other obligations he has. I dunno, I just feel like I have no direction whatsoever right now and I wanna get out of this funk...
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 557
I can definitely relate! When I stopped drinking, I still had all the emotional issues I had before I quit. I just couldn't cover them up any more with alcohol. I had to learn to be happy with myself and content with who I was or I couldn't stay sober. Since you mentioned meetings, I'll just say that I personally did this by working the steps. Meetings are great places to put the program into action and learn about the program, but they're not the program. But as will I'm sure be mentioned, there are lots of paths to sobriety. Committing to one, despite the fact that you don't feel motivated, might help. I also talked with my doctor. He couldn't treat me medically for depression while I was drinking, but it became an option when I was sober. I also got a physical after a couple of months to make sure everything checked out ok. Physical issues can influence mood.
One of the most important things I learned in early sobriety was that my feelings weren't facts. I needed to make healthy choices regardless of how I felt. Honestly, I still struggle with that today! But I've gotten better at it. I allow myself to feel how I feel, but try not to wallow. But I try to do what's right and healthy one step at a time, even if I don't feel like it.
In some ways, quitting is the easy part. Learning to live sober and "staying quit" is the hard part!
One of the most important things I learned in early sobriety was that my feelings weren't facts. I needed to make healthy choices regardless of how I felt. Honestly, I still struggle with that today! But I've gotten better at it. I allow myself to feel how I feel, but try not to wallow. But I try to do what's right and healthy one step at a time, even if I don't feel like it.
In some ways, quitting is the easy part. Learning to live sober and "staying quit" is the hard part!
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: ma
Posts: 242
I've had a lot of those feelings also. I'm right at the samebdate as you now. A lot of people on here including myself try to exercise daily and take vitamins and work on eating better. That seems to help a lot. Sleeping is tough for me still. Not always able to get to bed early enough. Good Luck.and keep up the great work! Congratulations on 32 days!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Wichita
Posts: 20
Thanks guys 
This helps me a lot. I pretty much know I need to get into action and be more proactive I'm just having a hard time doing it. Knowing that other people have been through it too helps me to sorta realize that I can get up and make things happen. I guess sometimes we as alcoholics need to hear (or read in this case lol) it from others like us. God bless y'all for the advice and congratulations on the progress you've made!!!
This helps me a lot. I pretty much know I need to get into action and be more proactive I'm just having a hard time doing it. Knowing that other people have been through it too helps me to sorta realize that I can get up and make things happen. I guess sometimes we as alcoholics need to hear (or read in this case lol) it from others like us. God bless y'all for the advice and congratulations on the progress you've made!!! Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne, Victoria Australia
Posts: 1,202
Ah, yes....the existential angst, I call it, New2! It's quite a drag, indeed.
All I can note is that, for moi, I just try to remind myself that This Is Your Life. As in, we have our day to day reality to deal with, whether drunk OR sober.
The lack of motivation you describe is one I relate to, a lot. It can be part of dysthymia - a sort of low-grade, chronic depressive state. I've felt it for long periods of my life, including when I hardly drank at all!
The 'link' between alcohol use and depression is somewhat of a hall of mirrors, infinitely receding. So all I manage to do is to practise (when I remember to do so) a bit of mindful acceptance - of my mood / procrastination / inertia / whatever it is that feels sludgy. Mindfulness somehow just says 'Let It Be' (remember the old Beatles song?)...and when one does, without fighting it, voila, it eventually changes. Even a tiny bit, so we can then just get up, stand up and do something, however small (you know, like clean the griller / sweep the paths / take the dog for a short walk / etc.). In Zen, they call it: 'chop wood, carry water'. It often works for me. The melancholia / inertia doesn't magically vanish - it just Is for a while, then it isn't....then It Is. And on we go. Still alive, eh?
All I can note is that, for moi, I just try to remind myself that This Is Your Life. As in, we have our day to day reality to deal with, whether drunk OR sober.
The lack of motivation you describe is one I relate to, a lot. It can be part of dysthymia - a sort of low-grade, chronic depressive state. I've felt it for long periods of my life, including when I hardly drank at all!
The 'link' between alcohol use and depression is somewhat of a hall of mirrors, infinitely receding. So all I manage to do is to practise (when I remember to do so) a bit of mindful acceptance - of my mood / procrastination / inertia / whatever it is that feels sludgy. Mindfulness somehow just says 'Let It Be' (remember the old Beatles song?)...and when one does, without fighting it, voila, it eventually changes. Even a tiny bit, so we can then just get up, stand up and do something, however small (you know, like clean the griller / sweep the paths / take the dog for a short walk / etc.). In Zen, they call it: 'chop wood, carry water'. It often works for me. The melancholia / inertia doesn't magically vanish - it just Is for a while, then it isn't....then It Is. And on we go. Still alive, eh?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne, Victoria Australia
Posts: 1,202
My pleasure New2. What also helps me is to simply log on (or not, just read) here on SR and other forums. This gives me (who spends most of my days alone, just with my dog) that wonderful sense that, 'Hey!!!! At this very moment or hour or day, there other people feeling this stuff. They're not even just around the corner - though they might be, who'd know? They're on the other side of the world in my case.' That, just in itself, blows my mind into a reminder: this (whatever it is) is just being human.
Go well! With whatever arises.
Go well! With whatever arises.
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,733
New to This,
I get terrible clinical depression when I am sober. Mine will hit me out of the blue and I do take medication for it.
I'll let you know what helps me and you can just see of any of these might be helpful to you as well because medication isn't magic.
I get up in the morning (body aches because of depression) and feel sooooo tired. I drink my coffee and take my weary body outside into some sunshine or fresh air to greet God. Or you can just look at nature and try to find some things to be grateful for. I don't let my mind start running the show - telling me how awful it's going to be and how tired I am, or all that I have to do (making me feel grumpy and overwhelmed) etc. I ask God to be in control and to help me throughout my day. Give me energy. Take away my desire to drink or use chemicals. I then usually journal or Bible reading and devotion. Page 86-87 in the BB is another great way to start the beginning of your day.
Easy Does It is my motto. I take care of myself now which I never did when I was active in my addiction. Take my time. Get up earlier so you can lounge a bit and not have to rush so much. I also practice willingness and acceptance. I have to accept that my energy is lower. That I am apathetic. That my body hurts and make accomindations for myself as I would do for a friend. Now I love myself and can actually be on my side when it comes to recovery. I also have to gently force myself to do what I need to do that day: go to appointments, eat regularly (very important), get to a meeting and talk to at least one person before I go.
The isolating that you are doing is a red flag for a relapse or spree. Don't place yourself in that position. If the depression is getting unbearable absolutely talk to your doctor. But in the meanwhile gratitude, acceptance and forcing yourself to be around others will greatly help you through this difficult time.
Have patience with yourself but also don't give yourself enough rope to hang yourself with!
I get terrible clinical depression when I am sober. Mine will hit me out of the blue and I do take medication for it.
I'll let you know what helps me and you can just see of any of these might be helpful to you as well because medication isn't magic.
I get up in the morning (body aches because of depression) and feel sooooo tired. I drink my coffee and take my weary body outside into some sunshine or fresh air to greet God. Or you can just look at nature and try to find some things to be grateful for. I don't let my mind start running the show - telling me how awful it's going to be and how tired I am, or all that I have to do (making me feel grumpy and overwhelmed) etc. I ask God to be in control and to help me throughout my day. Give me energy. Take away my desire to drink or use chemicals. I then usually journal or Bible reading and devotion. Page 86-87 in the BB is another great way to start the beginning of your day.
Easy Does It is my motto. I take care of myself now which I never did when I was active in my addiction. Take my time. Get up earlier so you can lounge a bit and not have to rush so much. I also practice willingness and acceptance. I have to accept that my energy is lower. That I am apathetic. That my body hurts and make accomindations for myself as I would do for a friend. Now I love myself and can actually be on my side when it comes to recovery. I also have to gently force myself to do what I need to do that day: go to appointments, eat regularly (very important), get to a meeting and talk to at least one person before I go.
The isolating that you are doing is a red flag for a relapse or spree. Don't place yourself in that position. If the depression is getting unbearable absolutely talk to your doctor. But in the meanwhile gratitude, acceptance and forcing yourself to be around others will greatly help you through this difficult time.
Have patience with yourself but also don't give yourself enough rope to hang yourself with!
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