BF is a week clean, and its like he has a bad case of PMS
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 183
BF is a week clean, and its like he has a bad case of PMS
He has made it a whole week without using, but he had a close call the other night and almost made a run, but he stopped himself.
He has been doing a lot of exercise, lifting weights, running on the treadmill, and says it helps him.
He is moody and grumpy part of the time like he has PMS. Or I can at least think of it like that and it helps me not loose my cool. Now i know how he must feel sometimes with me. And like me, he knows when he is grumpy and easily agitated and seems to bother him.
He had another appointment with his doctor yesterday, and goes again tomorrow. progress I hope will come eventually. the doctor gave him a prescription for some anti anxiety meds but he hasnt filled it. the doctor told him to try to wait for a couple of weeks and maybe he would regulate some on his own. but he also said he would rather have him get it filled and take them (as prescribed) than go back to the cocaine.
He has cried a few times in this past week. Hard to see him suffering, he is angry at himself for what he allowed to happen mostly. And sometimes he si afraid he cant do it.
Ive been ok mostly. Working, trying to keep things normal in my life. My heart goes out to him, and I struggle with not knowing exactly what action to take next because dont know what kind of a mood he will be in. Like he can change in mid activity. I dont think Im THAT bad when I have PMS.
He has been doing a lot of exercise, lifting weights, running on the treadmill, and says it helps him.
He is moody and grumpy part of the time like he has PMS. Or I can at least think of it like that and it helps me not loose my cool. Now i know how he must feel sometimes with me. And like me, he knows when he is grumpy and easily agitated and seems to bother him.
He had another appointment with his doctor yesterday, and goes again tomorrow. progress I hope will come eventually. the doctor gave him a prescription for some anti anxiety meds but he hasnt filled it. the doctor told him to try to wait for a couple of weeks and maybe he would regulate some on his own. but he also said he would rather have him get it filled and take them (as prescribed) than go back to the cocaine.
He has cried a few times in this past week. Hard to see him suffering, he is angry at himself for what he allowed to happen mostly. And sometimes he si afraid he cant do it.
Ive been ok mostly. Working, trying to keep things normal in my life. My heart goes out to him, and I struggle with not knowing exactly what action to take next because dont know what kind of a mood he will be in. Like he can change in mid activity. I dont think Im THAT bad when I have PMS.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,618
Originally Posted by dasiydoc 
He has made it a whole week without using, but he had a close call the other night and almost made a run, but he stopped himself.
He has been doing a lot of exercise, lifting weights, running on the treadmill, and says it helps him.
He is moody and grumpy part of the time like he has PMS. Or I can at least think of it like that and it helps me not loose my cool. Now i know how he must feel sometimes with me. And like me, he knows when he is grumpy and easily agitated and seems to bother him.
He had another appointment with his doctor yesterday, and goes again tomorrow. progress I hope will come eventually. the doctor gave him a prescription for some anti anxiety meds but he hasnt filled it. the doctor told him to try to wait for a couple of weeks and maybe he would regulate some on his own. but he also said he would rather have him get it filled and take them (as prescribed) than go back to the cocaine.
He has cried a few times in this past week. Hard to see him suffering, he is angry at himself for what he allowed to happen mostly. And sometimes he si afraid he cant do it.
Ive been ok mostly. Working, trying to keep things normal in my life. My heart goes out to him, and I struggle with not knowing exactly what action to take next because dont know what kind of a mood he will be in. Like he can change in mid activity. I dont think Im THAT bad when I have PMS.
He has been doing a lot of exercise, lifting weights, running on the treadmill, and says it helps him.
He is moody and grumpy part of the time like he has PMS. Or I can at least think of it like that and it helps me not loose my cool. Now i know how he must feel sometimes with me. And like me, he knows when he is grumpy and easily agitated and seems to bother him.
He had another appointment with his doctor yesterday, and goes again tomorrow. progress I hope will come eventually. the doctor gave him a prescription for some anti anxiety meds but he hasnt filled it. the doctor told him to try to wait for a couple of weeks and maybe he would regulate some on his own. but he also said he would rather have him get it filled and take them (as prescribed) than go back to the cocaine.
He has cried a few times in this past week. Hard to see him suffering, he is angry at himself for what he allowed to happen mostly. And sometimes he si afraid he cant do it.
Ive been ok mostly. Working, trying to keep things normal in my life. My heart goes out to him, and I struggle with not knowing exactly what action to take next because dont know what kind of a mood he will be in. Like he can change in mid activity. I dont think Im THAT bad when I have PMS.
but ugh!!!! I was so glad when he got a bed and he could go be moody somewhere else haha! :ghug3
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
You can give up your front row center seat anytime you want to do so.
Addiction excuses nothing.
The is a world of trained support out there. All he has to do is want it bad enough.
No one has ever been loved sober. If that's all it took, there would be no such thing as addiction.
Addiction excuses nothing.
The is a world of trained support out there. All he has to do is want it bad enough.
No one has ever been loved sober. If that's all it took, there would be no such thing as addiction.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,618
Originally Posted by outtolunch
You can give up your front row center seat anytime you want to do so.
Addiction excuses nothing.
The is a world of trained support out there. All he has to do is want it bad enough.
No one has ever been loved sober. If that's all it took, there would be no such thing as addiction.
Addiction excuses nothing.
The is a world of trained support out there. All he has to do is want it bad enough.
No one has ever been loved sober. If that's all it took, there would be no such thing as addiction.
Restoring myself to sanity
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,018
As hard as it may be you have to take the focus off of his recovery and the obsession of whether he's going to stay clean and put it on yourself... Your recovery is just as important as his and you seem to be very invested in his recovery and not yours... I don't say this in a mean or harsh way it's just that you remind me of myself 5 years ago.. I was so lost in my husbands addiction, his recovery, his lack of recovery, thoughts of whether he was using or not etc.. That I lost a part of myself because I was so focused on him..
Detox is not easy.. Haven't had the experience with cocaine detox but I did watch my EXAH try to detox from pills unsuccessfully.. And I say unsuccessfully because he really wasn't doing it for him but for other people... Detoxing is actually the easy part.. It's staying clean, working a strong recovery program and changing ones life that's the most difficult... That's why you see people relapse time and time again even after multiple stays in rehab..
Focus on you daisy... Read here on these forums, get yourself to some meetings and get you a positive support system that is separate from your BFs recovery
Detox is not easy.. Haven't had the experience with cocaine detox but I did watch my EXAH try to detox from pills unsuccessfully.. And I say unsuccessfully because he really wasn't doing it for him but for other people... Detoxing is actually the easy part.. It's staying clean, working a strong recovery program and changing ones life that's the most difficult... That's why you see people relapse time and time again even after multiple stays in rehab..
Focus on you daisy... Read here on these forums, get yourself to some meetings and get you a positive support system that is separate from your BFs recovery
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Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,691
having lived through a boyfriend giving up cocaine (only to go back out again after 6 years of sobriety) all I can say is that the only thing that saved me was working my own recovery program.
Honestly, my concern isn't for him right now, how he is doing, his moods but how YOU are doing. Where are YOU getting support? How are you handling the worry, the anxiety, fears? How are you going to retain your serenity whether he goes back out or not? How are you keeping the focus on YOU and not how he is doing?
I agree....you can't "love or understand" someone clean. It has to be their own deal - separate and apart from any thing that we want from them. Ironically, the best way to "save him" is to save yourself. If you really want to stand by him through this I really hope that you will consider anon meetings, getting a sponsor, and working the steps.
I'm looking forward to the day that you report on you, your feelings, your recovery instead of his.
Honestly, my concern isn't for him right now, how he is doing, his moods but how YOU are doing. Where are YOU getting support? How are you handling the worry, the anxiety, fears? How are you going to retain your serenity whether he goes back out or not? How are you keeping the focus on YOU and not how he is doing?
I agree....you can't "love or understand" someone clean. It has to be their own deal - separate and apart from any thing that we want from them. Ironically, the best way to "save him" is to save yourself. If you really want to stand by him through this I really hope that you will consider anon meetings, getting a sponsor, and working the steps.
I'm looking forward to the day that you report on you, your feelings, your recovery instead of his.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 183
Originally Posted by Lily1918
I've never been around someone kicking cocaine, but when the boo detoxed from heroin before rehab it was hell on earth. the children stayed at gmas. I will never go through that again. I told the kids he had scarlet fever, I know its wrong to lie but she is 6 years old... anyhow, I can relate. Like pms on steroids. it took 4 days for the physical to go away and for him to become human again. reminded me of twilight when the vampires burn for 3 days. Then the pms came. he had no way to control his mood but I refused to walk on shells. I would be like "you mad bro?? here..." and shove his Ipod and bible in his hands and send him to sit on the back porch with a pack of smokes. "and change your tampon while you're at it! " I would say. he would come back in crying after a few hours all crying and the cycle would repeat. sorry for rambling with my story telling but ugh!!!! I was so glad when he got a bed and he could go be moody somewhere else haha! :ghug3
but ugh!!!! I was so glad when he got a bed and he could go be moody somewhere else haha! :ghug3That is so funny; sending him to the porch. I feel for ya.
Cocaine, at least the kind you snort doesnt have physical withdrawals much, its all mental and emotional because the drug messes with the dopamine in the brain. That is why he feels anxious and depressed. He knew it was going to happen and we talked about it before.he was worried he would say mean things to me or hurt my feelings even though he didnt want to. I can relate because I have done that when Im in a bad mood with PMS, or after a bad day at work or whatever. It hasnt been that bad so far. We have not had a fight or anything. We dont live together, and we both work so its not like we are in each others face 24/7. But I have been staying with him some, but he likes to stay at my place now because he says it has less reminders of him using, and stuff. But he has exercise weights and stuff at his house that I dont have, but I have a treadmill and elliptical so he uses that. exercise seems to help him a lot.
Im trying to stay focused on me, but Im not going to ignore him. I want to offer support, and I think he would do it for me. Im ok with my seat right now. My mom always said ' it is a womans prerogative to change her mind ' so I have always lived by that and I dont feel like Im stuck or obligated. Im wit him because I want to be right now.
I do think he will probably relapse. He is in a program of counseling with a psychiatrist. He has a professional to help him now, and he wanted that. It took him a while to admit it, but he asked for help. I figure he will relapse because this is hard, and a lot of people do. but as long as he picks himself back up and goes back to work at it then I have faith he will stop. And he knows he has to work on issues, and that is why he picked a doctor to help him, its gonna take time, dont think there is a quick fix.
i sort of worry if he has a relapse he may binge though. that scares me because it wont be controlled and it is so dangerous. if it happens then I may have to distance myself for a while because I wont watch it if it goes on for days or something. maybe it wont come to that. and I can hear most of you saying 'yes it will' . But I need the reality check.
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