What Alcoholic did!
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Orem UT
Posts: 312
What Alcoholic did!
I was in a rut yesterday, I couldn't make it to a meeting so I called my sister and best friend, I explained to her how hurt I felt because my RXAH left the state to work somewhere else, she started to remind me of the horrible things he did to me, it did help to get out of my "Oh I miss him...he was such a great guy when not drinking illusion".
Few of the things she reminded me of are:
1. He got mad at me for cooking rice and put the bowl of cooked rice on my head.....I was so humiliated!!
2. He got angry at me one time and threw me out of the house, I did not have my shoes on and/or key to come back in...I was so emberrased the neighbors would see me.
3. One Thanksgiving I went to see a friend and took my children with me, on my way back home (just 2 hours later), he was so mad because I left that he threw all my dinner to the dog and we had no thanksgiving that day or any food, so I cried and cried, I called my sister who invited me and my children to her home.
4. The poor dog got sick after all the food (thanksgiving) it barked all night, first thing that morning (Friday after Txgiving), my then sober for 9 months AH shot the dog, I cried for months over that (he blamed me for it). Needless to say he got drunk later that day.
5. Xmas 2009, he was drunk, I was crying (normal holiday I should add), my friend and her husband came to visit to cheer me up. my AH, kick them out of the house telling them that they were not welcome and to get F**k out of his house.
I can go over and over with the horrible things he did (drunk or sober), no wonder my children left home as soon as they were able to.
Remembering the bad really help me get out of my rut...I count my blessings and realized that my H.P is doing for me what I cannot do for myself..
Few of the things she reminded me of are:
1. He got mad at me for cooking rice and put the bowl of cooked rice on my head.....I was so humiliated!!
2. He got angry at me one time and threw me out of the house, I did not have my shoes on and/or key to come back in...I was so emberrased the neighbors would see me.
3. One Thanksgiving I went to see a friend and took my children with me, on my way back home (just 2 hours later), he was so mad because I left that he threw all my dinner to the dog and we had no thanksgiving that day or any food, so I cried and cried, I called my sister who invited me and my children to her home.
4. The poor dog got sick after all the food (thanksgiving) it barked all night, first thing that morning (Friday after Txgiving), my then sober for 9 months AH shot the dog, I cried for months over that (he blamed me for it). Needless to say he got drunk later that day.
5. Xmas 2009, he was drunk, I was crying (normal holiday I should add), my friend and her husband came to visit to cheer me up. my AH, kick them out of the house telling them that they were not welcome and to get F**k out of his house.
I can go over and over with the horrible things he did (drunk or sober), no wonder my children left home as soon as they were able to.
Remembering the bad really help me get out of my rut...I count my blessings and realized that my H.P is doing for me what I cannot do for myself..
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 222
Those reminders are so difficult to face. So thankful for you that you have someone in your life that is able to remind you of what was REAL. I was still in the hiding his a$$h@$ishness from everyone. My friends; his friends; both of our families and I don't feel like I could even tell them now for they would wonder wth I was thinking.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 166
ODAT ...what an A$$. Actually what a timely post. i made myself list all the bad in my relationship with XAGF last night to help me move away from my fantasy thinking. I honestly can say all holidays were bad...crying, drunkenness, etc. When I was 6 months pregnant with my twins, she said she was coming back for my birthday, she disappeared and went and got drunk with her sister. She was angry because the few Xmas gifts she bought were not what I'd asked for (close but importantly different...I wanted a kitchen CD player, she got a IPOD player and I don't own one!) so she returned all my gifts. She got pissed when my best friend brought the phone to my twins on their birthday so I could skype with them, and she started yelling and threatening her.
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
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Have you considered therapy? It has been a long time since you were divorced, might need some help in finally moving forward and letting him go, once and for all.
Sorry that you are still in turmoil over him.
Sorry that you are still in turmoil over him.
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Join Date: Nov 2011
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Originally Posted by peanut44 
He shot your dog........ I would've shot him.
Funny how I could probably get past someone punching and kicking me but make one of my puppies cry and it's go time :-)
Sounds like you are fortunate to be away from this person. Sounds like a matter of time before he harms someone.
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LOL... Audrey... I was assuming those would have been cut off and fed to a dog in front of him a few days prior to the gut shot. Wow... I need to tell my therapist I have a really ugly streak when kids or animals are hurt ;-)
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Aurora, CO
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Originally Posted by PohsFriend
Amen.... but not in the head where it would be fast and painless... go for the stomache.
Funny how I could probably get past someone punching and kicking me but make one of my puppies cry and it's go time :-)
Sounds like you are fortunate to be away from this person. Sounds like a matter of time before he harms someone.
Funny how I could probably get past someone punching and kicking me but make one of my puppies cry and it's go time :-)
Sounds like you are fortunate to be away from this person. Sounds like a matter of time before he harms someone.
And I am with everyone - make me cry, I'll get over it. Touch my furbabies and like Achmed the dead terrorist says, "I will keeeeel you!"
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Orem UT
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That was probably 12 years ago, since then he got a blue heeler, he said she (the dog) is everything to him. He loves that dog, now he had to moved could not take her, I am sure he is missing her.
But yes, is amazing how I forget the bad things, my therapist tells me I need to move on and write down the awful things he did and read them every time I "miss him".
Thank you all for the kind words.
But yes, is amazing how I forget the bad things, my therapist tells me I need to move on and write down the awful things he did and read them every time I "miss him".
Thank you all for the kind words.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Aurora, CO
Posts: 85
Originally Posted by Audrey1
Rather than shooting him in the head or the stomach, I'd go for the balls. My apologies to all you guys out there who grimace at the thought, but people like that shouldn't be allowed to procreate.
And agree 150%!!!!
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
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My favorite sobriety blogger posted a quote from an AA speaker recently: "It's not that I am a slow learner. It's that I'm a fast forgetter." That was in the context of forgetting, each time he drinks, how it's going to wind up, and believing each time that THIS time it will be different.
Seems like it applies to a lot of us, too.
Seems like it applies to a lot of us, too.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Aurora, CO
Posts: 85
Originally Posted by PohsFriend
LOL... Audrey... I was assuming those would have been cut off and fed to a dog in front of him a few days prior to the gut shot. Wow... I need to tell my therapist I have a really ugly streak when kids or animals are hurt ;-)
No way could I ever be a social worker or an animal cop - I would wind up behind bars!Seriously though. It takes a special kind of a$$hole to hurt something defenseless. Hope things get better soon!
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
Originally Posted by Audrey1
Rather than shooting him in the head or the stomach, I'd go for the balls. My apologies to all you guys out there who grimace at the thought, but people like that shouldn't be allowed to procreate.
Actually, I thought basically the same thing, decided to keep my big mouth shut...I know, I know...a once in a lifetime occasion!
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