PippoRossi

I have a new challenge at work where I have to manage people and make tough decisions where people will end up pissed off with wounded egos. I absolutely HATE being in this situation and have avoided it most of my career. I am chairing a committee to organize our Holiday Party for Dec. 2013. We have a company of around 900 employees. Normally, dealing with so many different people and their personalities would literally drive me to drink. Instead, this situation is driving me to THINK! I am uncomfortable and my stomach is in knots, yet I am experiencing it, feeling it and dealing with it instead of trying to numb it! Yay me! I just had to pull the carpet out from under two of my coworkers because they were not on board at all (unless their ideas were 100% accepted). It was a very uncomfortable feeling, having to take the reigns and say, "Sorry, ladies. You really aren't being team players so all those subcommittees you were supposed to chair, I am taking them back and assigning them to other people." Best to nip it in the bud, I suppose. Whew! Why do I feel so exhilarated?!?!?

MIRecovery

We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.

Change is never easy but you are growing

Good job and go get em.

PippoRossi

Thanks, MIR. I just don't recognize all these feelings I'm experiencing. Now I feel like crying! So much for feeling exhilerated!

PippoRossi

Well, one of the people who I pissed off earlier today just came to my desk and wanted to talk privately. Her ego is definitely bruised (oh, well) and she started out by apologizing, blah, blah, blah! (Oh, and she brought me chocolate...WTF???) I'm starting to feel like I'm on an episode of "The Apprentice." Ha!

The thing is, this is all such a good lesson for me. I was telling my husband about these two ladies I'm having trouble with and he said, "Oh, I don't know anything about that!" Meaning, basically, that the issues I am having with them are the EXACT, SAME overbearing characteristics I myself exhibit when trying to get my way. Oh, the horror!

Living, growing, changing (I hope!).

vegibean

Good for you Pippo, having responsibility helps keep me in check. It is one of the things that I am grateful regarding work, school, my bills, my son, etc., they keep me on the right track. Without all of those things I'd be at the bottom again.

Only 11 months to go!!

paul99

Like the old expression - "If you spot it, you got it".

Amazing how when something disturbs us about someone, we find that there is something in them that is in us. I found that out the hard way many times. But glad to hear you working through this sober...what a difference it makes!

tehmazzyland

power! (lolz!)

I don't want to be presumptuous, as I've never worked for an organisation that big or had responsibility for such a large thing... but in a small way I used to run teams of people, and I'd advise to take things carefully, make sure you have a clear process for decision making about assigning roles etc... and keep checking in with your hubby for grounding. It might sound like a cliche but power does actually cause funny behaviours, not necessarily in you but in the people you're organising.

I found it really difficult to find the balance between being firm/assertive and being wracked with self-doubt when it came to making decisions about other people's jobs. As a fragile personality (all together now - aaah!), it wasn't always healthy for me.

But it IS fun! And so very rewarding at the end as well.

All the best. (Apologies if I'm teaching granny to suck eggs (no implications intended about your age or diet))

PippoRossi

Right you are, veg!

PippoRossi

My new favorite saying!!!

PippoRossi

Thank you, tehmazzyland. Great advice!

Jeni26

Oh I can SO relate to you. I started a new job after Christmas, and part of it involves managing people. I try to be supportive but there are many times I have to make unpopular decisions.
I've spent a few weeks now running lots of 'difficult' conversations through in my head before I have to actually say them, and imagine scenarios which have never actually happened as yet.
I'm not comfortable with any form of conflict, and it has caused me lots of anxiety.

What is helping me is trying to keep in the forefront of my mind- what is the 'right' thing, the 'fair' thing to do in a situation. I try and take personalities out of it, as some people are better equipped to argue their point and that doesn't necessarily mean they have the better case. I try very hard to let things go at the end of a day and not bring it home with me, as over-analysis doesn't help.

Oh, and I don't drink. That would make a difficult job downright impossible!x