Leftover

How can it be that thousands of prayers, by many a loved one, are not answered. My AS is going deeper and deeper into his addiction. He has abandoned his pregnant wife and three children. He used again and ended up in jail, probably costing him his job. He sits there as I write. Without his paycheck, she can't support herself and their children. I've dealt with this for years and years. I've worked hard on my own recovery, but at one point I expected he would reach recovery. I guess I don't expect that anymore. I expect this will all end badly. His wife and my grandchildren will be without a home and without the money to support themselves. I am so sad and angry and conflicted right now. Should I pray again..when it never seems to get any better. WWHERE ARE YOU GOD, I'M CALLING YOU.

jerect

I remember those days when I felt like my higher power was not hearing my prayers· IT took me a lot of time and experience to realize that sometimes our prayers are not answered for our highest good and other times they are not answered right away because it's not time yet· I got to the point where I didn't pray for anything specific, I just handed it all over to my HP and had Faith that things would sort themselves out and that's when I began to see changes and shifts to my situation

Eddiebuckle

Left, sorry to hear what is happening in your sons life. The addict/alcoholic will continue to deny the reality of his situation until he is more scared of the life he is living than the prospect of giving up his ability to escape reality. The unfortunate truth is that some never come to that realization.

God does not impose his will on us, but perhaps by allowing your son to face the consequences of his actions he will come to understand the truth and make the decision to change. It's maddening to watch the addiction and its consequences unfold, but this is strictly between him and his higher power. This is Gods job, not yours.

outtolunch

Consider praying to make peace with that which is outside of your control.

zoso77

God has given each of us free will, and with free will comes the burden of choice. By continuing on the path that he is on, your AS has made a choice, and it isn't recovery. And until he chooses recovery, he won't care about his girlfriend, their children, or whether or not they'll get by financially. Such is the nature of his illness. And it sucks.

Remember the Serenity Prayer?

You can't help your son. You can, however, give him over to God. And whatever happens will happen; that's not in your control. The only thing that you can control is you. And when I was in a time of crisis not too long ago, I prayed to God to help me carry the burden of my pain. And He listened. Maybe you can try the same thing.

Best,
ZoSo

Hanna

The most powerful prayers for me have been the ones of gratitude, particularly when I simply give thanks for what I have and for the care that is being taken of me.

I know that recognizing what there is to be grateful for is very difficult to do while facing the depths of despair, but I have only my own experience to go on; it works in ways I could never have fathomed and wouldn't try to explain. I know I am no more special than anyone else here- that is to say that we are, each of us, inordinately special- so if it works for me it must work for all of us.

Praying for specific outcomes never worked for me. Praying for hope, peace and strength to handle whatever may arise each day always does. Prayers of gratitude, simply put, produce more things for which to be grateful.

Leftover

Eddie, you are so right..watching his consequences unfold will be heartbreaking.. I hope he will get more scared of the life he is living. Thank you for allowing me to see this through different eyes. And Zo, in this crisis I forrgot my imaging of giving him to my HP. I have been running scared and neglected some of the most helpful elements of my own recovery. I read on SR to not forget that my recovery is just as important to me as my son's recovery is to him. Thank you to everyone for the advice and support i've received on this forum.

Kindeyes

I have had many a "prayer" crying in the bottom of the shower screaming at God. Perhaps I was thinking that he would hear me better if I turned up the volume. I haven't done that for a long time...but even in those moments of despair, something would calm me down. I choose to believe it was God.

My son said something very powerful to me as I was driving him up to a long term rehab a couple of months ago. He said "I think I understand the concept of Godspeed. I always thought it meant go faster.....I realize now that it means things happen in God's time.....not in ours."

Godspeed.

I am so sorry that you are dealing with your son's addiction and watching how it affects others you love so dearly. Keep working your program of recovery.....it's what you control.

gentle hugs from another mom
ke

VioletSmile

God does not take away our free will. Your son may live his life however he chooses. It pains God just as much as it does you. Remember He loves your son more than you do.

Pray for strength for yourself to get through this.

tomsteve

" thy kingdom come,thy will be done.."
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

NoelleR

Although those prayers may not have been answered the way y'all wanted them to be answered, I'm betting they were answered. In fact, I've never seen a prayer go unanswered.

(o:
NoelleR

Ann

I too was mad at God when my son became addicted to drugs. I felt God was neglecting us and not listening to my prayers. Then, I learned I was praying for the wrong things.

I began to pray for courage and strength, I prayed to find compassion to replace my anger, and forgiveness to replace my resentments. This is when I felt the power of God in my life.

This prayer is one I read early in recovery. It took a while before I finally "got" that sometimes God's gifts come strangely wrapped.

I will keep your son in my prayers with my own.


The Blessing of Unanswered Prayers

I asked for strength that I might achieve;
I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey.
I asked for health that I might do greater things;
I was given infirmity that I might do better things.
I asked for riches that I might be happy;
I was given poverty that I might be wise.
I asked for power that I might have the praise of men;
I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God.
I asked for all things that I might enjoy life;
I was given life that I might enjoy all things.
I got nothing that I had asked for,
but everything that I had hoped for.
Almost despite myself my unspoken prayers were answered;
I am, among all men, most richly blessed.

~Unknown

Lily1918

ok. I am about to get blasphemous here so I hope you will bear with me. I've spent years studying world religions from a secular perspective before settling on my own concept of god. as many of you all know, I choose Jesus and the Trinity as my own personal HP. but in all of these religions I have found the issue of free will. That being said, (heres where the blasphemy comes in) lets take God out of it and look at star wars. that's right I said it. star wars. Vader had a choice to make. so did Luke. nothing anyone did could save Vader no matter how hard they tried. Also in Harry Potter, snape had a choice to make, and even his love for Lily didn't stop him from doing evil things. Nothing could save gollum in Lord of the rings either. Edmund had the choice to eat the treacle tart in the Lion he witch and the wardrobe.
I get angry at god not for not answering my prayers, but for giving us free will to begin with. life would be so much better if mankind had no knowledge of evil, and the only thing we knew was to be good and honest and pure... :,(