bigaquagirl

Hello ... I'm not sure what to post right now since the binge was yesterday and today just the usual hangover, guilt, hate me kinda feeling... I so needed to reach out to someone last night but there was noone. Now I feel trapped, alone and disappointed ...
I need some help, maybe posting for help when my mind is on the downward spiral to the abyss...
Why I drink? The reason for yesterday was ... i couldn't sort out my thoughts. One of my xs found out "i was too happy" so he went all vengeance on me with help of my wonderful coworkers. Apparently he waited for me to come crawling back for last nine months. I moved on because i thought he didn't love me. His actions last week .... I'm so confused ... he hates me or he loves me? On top of that my other x shows up - said he missed me, so i take him back but he is all games again. Why can't people just be honest ... I'm confused, lost and scared. They just trying to hurt me. I know this is probably nothing to drink over but if anyone here knows how to reason yourself out of this type of situation, any advice is greatly appreciated.

Anna

Dee74

Hi and welcome Anna

If my experience is any guide stopping drinking needs to come before the reasoning bit - you'll be much better equipped to deal with situations and problems later with a little sobriety under your belt.

In the mean time, support is way better than boozing - lean on the support you'll find here

welcome to SR

D

Hevyn

Welcome bigaquagirl. I'm sorry for your hurt and confusion, but I'm glad you've joined us.

This is a wonderful place for support and understanding. It's important that you have a clear head to deal with your problems. Drinking to feel better or numb the pain never works. Being hungover and filled with remorse makes things twice as awful. I hope you'll get back on track so you can make some decisions about your relationship. For now, focus on getting yourself feeling healthy and whole. We are here for you and want to help. You can do this.

Tamerua

Hi Anna, welcome! I agree with Dee. Work on you and your drinking and the answers to relationships will come.

You can do this!

vegibean

Hey Anna, I am sorry you're going through this sadness and hurt. Just a thought, but maybe take a step back from the relationships and focus more on you and what's going on inside of you. We can never find happiness in another, we need to have that separate and on our own.

I don't know exactly what happened with you, but if people are purposely out to hurt you, maybe change who you're around. I know you said co-workers, but maybe not confide in them any more. I had to learn that sharing with certain people was important, and MOST people shouldn't have access to what is in my head and my heart.

Welcome to SR.

Anna

Hi Anna,

Welcome, and absolutely focus on yourself and what you want and need in your life. The rest will fall into place and focusing on an ex right now is just adding confusion to the situation.

Bubovski

Being sober doesn't turn us into saints but it does make us a Hell of a lot easier to be with.:ghug3

EnderWiggin

men...can't live with them, can't legally bash them in the head with a mallet.

in all seriousness, i hope you take care of yourself first and foremost. in my humble opinion, one isn't able to make sound decisions without being sober.

i know you can do this. please read the forums and feel free to reach out. this is an incredible community, and an opportunity to take advantage of.

best of luck to you!

least

to the family! I agree that stopping drinking is the first priority. After you're sober you can work on the rest of your life and situations. Alcohol just makes it hard to do anything positive for ourselves so getting sober is number one. i wish you success. :ghug3

mytime66

Hello and welcome. For me I had to get sober to see why I had to get sober for good. Mostly negatives come from me when I'm combined with alcohol. Glad I made my mind up.

bigaquagirl

Thank you all for your welcomes and kind words. Hopefully I can do this.