trublnshangrila

I haven't posted for a long time, but I read here almost every day as well as the book, "Codependant No More." Although my alcoholic "friend " is out of my life, I am haunted by something. I admit the truth that I did a great deal of internet sleuthing in the fall and unearthed his criminal records dating back years for alcohol and drug-related charges. No surprise there, but what I never found was any inkling of information to corroborate his stories of current hook ups with much younger women...no FB posts, photos, addresses, names, etc. I acknowledge this was not a positive use of my time, but when I think about the extent of his lies and fabrications of other women to hurt & humiliate me, I'm filled with indignation and anger. For months, I struggled with his rejection-of my looks, my age, my sex appeal-for nothing! I cried to my therapist months ago when he threw me out of his life like trash, and she even told me at the time he was lying about these other girls, but I'm haunted by, why? Why go to such measures to bring me to my knees? I treated him with such warmth and kindness.

Rosiepetal

Hi
I'm in the middle of reading a book called The Journey from Abandonment to healing - Susan Anderson.
You may find this useful as it goes into detail the stages of grief & what our bodies are doing at each stage.
It's a process.
Hang in there.
You are not a bad person for loving & caring.
Post more if it helps.
Hugs.:ghug3

LexieCat

It's an ego thing. He wants you to think he's desirable to hot young babes, all of whom are just DYING to have a great guy like him.

Yuck. Pathetic, really. High school kids make up girlfriends to impress their friends.

trublnshangrila

He knew I was older and sensitive about our age difference, which makes it all the more cruel. He's out of my life but I suffered mentally and emotionally because of his immaturity. He really is frozen in his teens which makes it true what folks here say about A's maturity stopping when they start drinking.

ReflectingOnMe

As manipulate..he told you lies to make you envious..to make you sorry..to make you want him and to make you feel that he was special. I cant say I would have had the strength to not investigate either. Now you have.you know the facts (he hasn't changed) and you can continue to move on. We all have little hiccups in our quest for non-codie behavior. Here's to a fresh start tomorrow.