Sally

Today I felt so strange......Everyone at work was going on a trip to the Casino...buss trip.....I opted out....didn't think it a good idea....to hard to arrange with the kids and all.
All my other co-workers or the single girls were conspiring on their night out...they asked me to go along...and ofcourse I declined...
I felt so left out....resentfull...confused....and even angry.....for so long I've had to turn down social events fun stuff for myself....due to my A's drinking problem....and it just feels like such a hugh sacrifice.....I know that me going out would not be a good thing....especially when Im trying to support my A. and we must be open and honest...and I know he'd flip if I said I was going out to a bar with the girls.....so again....I ccame straight home to tend to my empty.....or husband less.....messy....house....seems like theirs all work and no play....and don't worry I realized that , that was a cue for me to TAKE CARE OF ME.....DO SOMETHING TO REFUEL MYSELF....SOMETHING FUN....SOMETHING THAT IS HEALTHY...SO I AM GOING TO ....JUST NOT SURE WHAT IT'S GOING TO BE YET...
FEEL I NEED A BREAK FROM THE KID'S....AND AT THE SAME TIME STRUGGLE WITH THE GUILT OF TAKING A FEW HR'S TO MYSELF....AFTER ALL THEY HAVE A BUSY WEEK ASWELL.
also I'm feeling a bit scared....nervous about my A
He's been working out and made a comment about his big pipes.....(arms)He's pretty much under house arrest at his parents house and sounded pretty restless....I know he's not going anywhere....I just worry....
you know how it is.....just tones of paranoid......tired old thoughts running through my mind.....time to call H.A.L.T and go into self care......ahh!!!!!!1

thanks for listening.....
regards
crazy sally :sweat

Gabe

Hugs Sally.
You are not the only one with the isolation problem. Many of us have to turn down invitations for fun things because we have to be home, since we are the only responsible parent in the house. It's hard to watch other people go out and do fun stuff when you feel like you live responsibility 24/7.
Try giving yourself some small moments of fun. Take the hour after the kids go to bed for some down time for you. A bubble bath, listening to some music, reading a good book...anything that is all about you. Then incorporate other fun times into your day. A special lunch, a walk after work, calling a friend for a few minutes.
These things will do a world of good for your spirit.
From small things, big things one day come.
Peace,
Gabe

Sally

thankk you gabe....will do...Iam sure I'll feel silly for posting after I have a good rest....I know what's important to me...and thats why I choose to come home.....I did choose to come home....and I am the responsible one....and for that I give thanks.....for my strength....It is not easy doing it all alone....but I am doing it and for that I can take pride....
I have such a huge deep admiration for all responsible parents....it's the hardest job I've ever had...or imagined...and I wonder what God seen in me to trust it unto me......but he did....so I must be o.k......

I need to get some sleep....

guess Iam not crazy......(i think)

Gabe

Good for you Sally. Taking pride in yourself is a very good thing.
Being a parent is a hard job, thank God it has it's rewards too.
Don't ever feel silly for posting anything that you need to talk about.
That's what we're here for.
You're not crazy. Just feeling overwhelmed and overdrawn at the emotional bank. Make a deposit tomorrow.
Hugs,
Gabe

hopeful0621

Sally:

Please don't feel silly and keep posting your thoughts whatever they are. I experienced something very similar at work today, and received a tremendous feeling of relief that I am not the only one going through it. I'm taking some time to do my nails and take care of me right now while my little ones are in bed, while normally I would stew over all the lousy things he's done to me lately.

Hope you get some rest.

sdp

Sally-
Been there, done that..
However, I don't know your situation, but couldn't you have asked someone to watch the kids while you went? You deserve a night out if you want it...

I saw another post where you have other kids over?? Couldn't those parents help you out??

Does supporting him mean denying yourself? Carpe Diem!!!!

Sally

Dear friends

supporting him means denying myself.....no and yes....I could have found away to go out with the girls....they were going to a Bar..a well known singles Bar.....drinking....ext. At this time of my vulnerability I know for me it probably wouldn't be a good Idea...Iam affraid I'll get myself in trouble....I have been having a hard time with am I single or am I married.....up until now. We have decided to reconcle and work towards that....
So either Iam single or I'm married.....and going out drinking with the single girls wouldn't be a healthy move for me right now....
although you are right I can still go out....with the girls another time....something fun that doesn't involve drinking....Dinner, Movie....ext....Iam just trying to do keep myself doing healthy things in my life. Because I do feel messed up and that fog is still lurking around my mind. I need time to keep my mind clear...and Healthy is my salvation.

McKrazy

Avoiding temptation. A key thought, you are wise. I know Beavis "wants to quit", but,alas, ends up at poker parties, boxing matches, bachelor events...... duh, hard to be the non-drinker there. It's always easier to say no BEFORE getting into a sticky situation, by not going there. Good job!

sdp

TRhat was right.. Going out for dinner or a movie does sound better.
I'm kind of a homebody, myself, and the thought of sitting in a bar holds little appeal for me-- I mean, I don't want to drink as I'll have to drive myself home!!!

Good luck!