Don't know where/down to start?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Beijing, China
Posts: 23
Don't know where/down to start?
Hi guys, I'd appreciate any advice you have,
I've always enjoyed a drink far more than the average person, whilke I dont drink every day and I'm not physically addicted, I know I have no way of controlling myself with alcohol and I've decided I need to stop altogether.
First off, any tips? I have quit before for like a week, at most 2, but what makes people able to go the distance?
Also, where I'm from binge drinking is just a social norm (i moved abroad and am now surrounded by people that don't feel that way, which made me wake up), how can I enjoy myself without it? I have my own hobbies, and when i go out with friends they'll just have a few, but for me there's no such thing as a few...Is it even possible to have fun without drinking?
Also, I'm sure if you've ever suffered from a drinking problem you'll know the shame factor, talking s***, falling over, doing all sorts of embarassing things, I look back and I cringe, despise the things I've done. While I can't go back and change it, does the constant sense of shame ever go away?
Any comments appreciated!
I've always enjoyed a drink far more than the average person, whilke I dont drink every day and I'm not physically addicted, I know I have no way of controlling myself with alcohol and I've decided I need to stop altogether.
First off, any tips? I have quit before for like a week, at most 2, but what makes people able to go the distance?
Also, where I'm from binge drinking is just a social norm (i moved abroad and am now surrounded by people that don't feel that way, which made me wake up), how can I enjoy myself without it? I have my own hobbies, and when i go out with friends they'll just have a few, but for me there's no such thing as a few...Is it even possible to have fun without drinking?
Also, I'm sure if you've ever suffered from a drinking problem you'll know the shame factor, talking s***, falling over, doing all sorts of embarassing things, I look back and I cringe, despise the things I've done. While I can't go back and change it, does the constant sense of shame ever go away?
Any comments appreciated!
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,064
Hello Hari,
1. I have fun without drinking, but in different ways and different places (for example, bars are no fun when are sober).
2. From what I have been told, if that sense of shame goes away, you're likely to get into trouble with drinking again.
Welcome to SR! Check in often!
1. I have fun without drinking, but in different ways and different places (for example, bars are no fun when are sober).
2. From what I have been told, if that sense of shame goes away, you're likely to get into trouble with drinking again.
Welcome to SR! Check in often!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
Hi Haribo,
I don't have an 'off' switch either when it comes to drinking. It was fun when I was younger because it seemed normal, but I'm in my mid-thirties now and being inappropriately drunk at all functions where alcohol is present has had terrible repercussions for me socially and professionally. I still cringe at some of the things I did and there are many people/places that won't welcome me back. I've lost a lot of sleep over my shame but I now realize I must move on. I have accepted my past and I'm ready for new memories that I will cherish instead of abhor. So to answer your question, the shame and guilt does subside with time. I think most alcoholics have to come to terms with their past before they can be happy and optimistic for the future.
I don't have an 'off' switch either when it comes to drinking. It was fun when I was younger because it seemed normal, but I'm in my mid-thirties now and being inappropriately drunk at all functions where alcohol is present has had terrible repercussions for me socially and professionally. I still cringe at some of the things I did and there are many people/places that won't welcome me back. I've lost a lot of sleep over my shame but I now realize I must move on. I have accepted my past and I'm ready for new memories that I will cherish instead of abhor. So to answer your question, the shame and guilt does subside with time. I think most alcoholics have to come to terms with their past before they can be happy and optimistic for the future.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,064
Originally Posted by haribo158 
what makes people able to go the distance?
AA has kept me sober 88 says so far.
to SR!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,226
Welcome. For me, alcohol stopped working. By that, it meant that the ostensibly *fun* things about alcohol ceased to be fun anymore. It also meant that I found myself here. There is a reason that we reach out and admit that it our use is bigger than we are, and it is hurting us. You are reaching out here, so that says something.
I just recently hit 30 days, although I have had many day 1s. I attribute my sobriety now to reaching out to a few trusted friends, starting AA, and holding myself accountable.
It might be hard to believe, but I am having a hell of a lot more fun now. Really. Stay with us, and keep us posted.
I just recently hit 30 days, although I have had many day 1s. I attribute my sobriety now to reaching out to a few trusted friends, starting AA, and holding myself accountable.
It might be hard to believe, but I am having a hell of a lot more fun now. Really. Stay with us, and keep us posted.
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