Hello
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: tillsonburg, ontario
Posts: 3
Hello
I just found this site while surfing to find something!! i cant get out to meetings very often as i live in a small town and have a job that has me out working in the public so i am not comfortable seeking recovery and support so close to home.
I seem to deteriorate every time my daughter has another of her "crisis" and it is getting harder and harder to maintain my own happiness and balance...as a recovering alcoholic i know that she has to want to get help....as a mother i feel the need to help my child no matter her age...by deteriorate i mean i just dont sleep well...dont eat right...am stressed and anxious and worry....i have a supportive husband who is not my daughters father and who knows nothing about alcoholism or mental health issues....i just need to hear from others....my daughter is 24 ....alcoholic, drug user, bulimic,,,and adhd...i am heartbroken at how she lives...i just dont understand her choices,,,,and i am always waiting for "the call".....to let me know she has been killed or killed herself....and i am angry that this is how my daughter is! i worked hard to get and stay sober and make a good life..she was raised in sobriety...and has soo much support of family and loved ones....co workers gush about what their 24 yr old daughters are doing and i just get busy so i dont have to participate in the conversations...i would love to havethe big university or wedding bills that they complain about.....i sound like its all about me i know..but it was easier when it was me needing to recover....i wanted it so bad...and i want it so bad for her...but most days she wont even admit theres a problem...
I seem to deteriorate every time my daughter has another of her "crisis" and it is getting harder and harder to maintain my own happiness and balance...as a recovering alcoholic i know that she has to want to get help....as a mother i feel the need to help my child no matter her age...by deteriorate i mean i just dont sleep well...dont eat right...am stressed and anxious and worry....i have a supportive husband who is not my daughters father and who knows nothing about alcoholism or mental health issues....i just need to hear from others....my daughter is 24 ....alcoholic, drug user, bulimic,,,and adhd...i am heartbroken at how she lives...i just dont understand her choices,,,,and i am always waiting for "the call".....to let me know she has been killed or killed herself....and i am angry that this is how my daughter is! i worked hard to get and stay sober and make a good life..she was raised in sobriety...and has soo much support of family and loved ones....co workers gush about what their 24 yr old daughters are doing and i just get busy so i dont have to participate in the conversations...i would love to havethe big university or wedding bills that they complain about.....i sound like its all about me i know..but it was easier when it was me needing to recover....i wanted it so bad...and i want it so bad for her...but most days she wont even admit theres a problem...
everything is already ok
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,789
Hi Daisy and welcome to SR 
My daughter is sick too and I only know thats she ok'ish as the knock on the door or telephone call has not come. I spent many days and night wondering what to do, pushed her further away with my good intentions and now what I can do is have faith and trust that she will be ok and keep in touch with her by email and text messages, which are never returned.
Denial is an amazing barrier and breaking through can be impossible. I too feel angry and guilty so I talk with friends abut whats going on and always have hope.
My daughter is sick too and I only know thats she ok'ish as the knock on the door or telephone call has not come. I spent many days and night wondering what to do, pushed her further away with my good intentions and now what I can do is have faith and trust that she will be ok and keep in touch with her by email and text messages, which are never returned.Denial is an amazing barrier and breaking through can be impossible. I too feel angry and guilty so I talk with friends abut whats going on and always have hope.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,064
Welcome to SR, Daisy!
There's all kinds of different threads here, including whole sections for friends and family support.
I am new to recovery, so I can understand your daughter's situation. It's a life of fear that we are afraid of losing. Others here have recovered from your daughter's problems--but she has to want to be helped. At this point, all you can do is take care of yourself.
There's all kinds of different threads here, including whole sections for friends and family support.
I am new to recovery, so I can understand your daughter's situation. It's a life of fear that we are afraid of losing. Others here have recovered from your daughter's problems--but she has to want to be helped. At this point, all you can do is take care of yourself.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Hi, and welcome!
I suggest you check out our Friends and Family forums. Al-Anon is the best way I know to get help for coping with the stress around a loved one's addictions.
As you know, you can't "fix" your daughter, and you won't be able to provide any help to anyone unless you take care of yourself first. I know it's hard--I've had to deal with alcoholism in two husbands, but it is a little bit different when it's a child, isn't it? We are so used to protecting them and feel responsible for doing that.
Hugs, glad you're here.
I suggest you check out our Friends and Family forums. Al-Anon is the best way I know to get help for coping with the stress around a loved one's addictions.
As you know, you can't "fix" your daughter, and you won't be able to provide any help to anyone unless you take care of yourself first. I know it's hard--I've had to deal with alcoholism in two husbands, but it is a little bit different when it's a child, isn't it? We are so used to protecting them and feel responsible for doing that.
Hugs, glad you're here.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,537
Welcome, Daisy. I'm so sorry for what you're going through with your daughter. There are many members who are having the same type of problem - I hope you'll find some comfort in being here where everyone understands.
We all care about you, Daisy. Please keep posting and reading here. I think it will help with your anxiety and stress.
We all care about you, Daisy. Please keep posting and reading here. I think it will help with your anxiety and stress.
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