otterbeaver

Been drinking for 30+ years and am sober for less than a week. I have to do this or life as I have it now will be over and it is a life I truly want to keep. The hardest part is that I have a horse that I board and have been drinking with a few of the gals there for a while and it's really hard to explain that I am not drinking. They don't want to hear it - and I have to keep my horse there.

ScottFromWI

What's more important to you- what they want to hear or your sobriety? There are many people who can help here as we'll as lots of info on support programs. But first you have to decide for yourself to quit. Keep reading and let us know how we can help

Kath76

great that you have made it almost a week, maybe you should try to make suRe you have something to go to after you see your horse like arrange a dinner, coffee or movie with someone else so your committed to leave by a certain time. I know for me I have to change who I see and where I go. Good luck

LindaLou

Hey otterbeaver! Welcome!

I have read this on other posts and it may help you. If I was in a situation like this, I would probably tell them that I have a medical condition (which addiction is) that doesn't allow me to drink. Who can argue that?

Anyway, I'm glad you're here! You will find a lot of helpful advise.

Recovering2

Congrats on your decision to get sober! It's really not anyone's business whether you choose to drink or not, but I understand the discomfort initially. My partner tells people he's "allergic", that usually shuts them right up! I agree that it's probably a good idea to set a time limit when you go take care of your horse, have something to do afterwards so you can look forward to something. If these women can't eventually be happy for your health...then they are not worth worrying over.
Do you have other support? Are you attending AA or counseling? That would help you in feeling comfortable.

paul99

Welcome and congrats on a week sobriety!

Your sobriety needs to be above all - above hurt feelings, misunderstanding, peer pressure, status, etc. It has be above everything.

You can mention that you just don't drink any more - it disagrees with you, health reasons, whatever, but be true to yourself and not worry what they will say. However they react, it's their reaction, and it's not for you to take on.

Hope it all works out

nogard

Hello, welcome to SR and congrats

Dee74

Hi otterbeaver - welcome

some great advice here....personally I think this
trumps what some women where you board your horse might think or say.

I had to make a lot of changes in my life, but my friends - my real friends - supported me

xuse

Welcome

Hevyn

Welcome otterbeaver!

I agree with the others - surely no one would try to get you to drink if it's hurting your health. Be proud of your sober time and your decision to change your life. I drank for 30 yrs. too, and my days were numbered. SR helped me through some very dark times and gave me the courage I needed to stay quit. I hope you'll feel the same. We're glad to have you join the family.

least

to the site! Glad you joined us! :ghug3

bigsombrero

If it's that much of a problem, get rid of the horse. Seriously. I would suggest that you put yourself first. It really sucks not taking a drink with your old comrades, but you have to admit that the show is over. You will die if you continue this. We always look for excuses. I once reasoned that I HAD to drink because I met a lot of clients and got a lot of business done over happy hour. I told myself that drinking was a part of my livelihood.

There are always reasons to drink. Your horse doesn't have to be one of them. As for me, I quit that job. I'd recommend not making excuses. Your family would be much happier if you lost that horse than if they lose you.

Zebra1275

You can't quit drinking because of your horse?

Seriously, if you are committed to be sober, you will find a way.

Welcome to SR!

vegibean

I think keeping the horse is a good idea, but I agree with finding ways to get out of hanging with the gals. Tell them you're having health issues, alcohol it TRULY poison, so now you won't be poisoning yourself any more.

You're on a health kick, you want to see how this works for you, this is for you. Good luck otter and welcome to SR.

Veritas1

When all else fails. Use humor.

Smile and say something like..."I'm on a health kick!"

"New Year, New Resolutions...Getting ready to look great this summer in the old swim trunks..."

"Trying to drop a few pounds, get fit, so I am not so heavy on the horse!"

"Thought I would give my horse a break and drop a few pounds. Drinking puts weight on!"

(This one...I am sure they will agree with!)

Something funny, that supports a good health decision.

Challenge them to join you.

Take before and after photos...

You never know where you can lead them!

All of you can be healthy and sober together.

You just never know...

:ghug3

Welcome

Be encouraged

The best way to predict your future is to create it

otterbeaver

Oh my gosh - thank you so much everyone for your replies and your advice and encouragement and support. It really means a lot. I have been in touch with my close friends and family and they are all here to support me as well so I am feeling very good about all that and about my commitment to stay sober. I think I will go with "the health" reason around my horse buddies - I think they will understand after awhile. I mean, who can argue that one does not want to put on those extra pounds for the health of myself and my horse! LOL! But true. I am relying heavily on one day at a time and finding other things I like to do to fill that "empty" time when alcohol was the filler. I know it is not always going to be easy and I know I cannoto do this alone so I am very happy to have found this forum and you are all tremendous for responding. Thank you.

Bigndfan175

trust me they wont care whether you drink or not; we suppose people take notice but thats not been my experience.

hang on to sobriety bc its your raft in the wild ocean that is life