So that's how it feels...
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Star's Hollow
Posts: 615
So that's how it feels...
My AH has been home on vacation all week. I work out of the house, so I've been here too. It's been a long week with him drinking all day, every day as I'm sure you can imagine. I've been doing the best I can to apply what I have learned.
He's outside doing yard work (aka drinking in the yard). I looked outside and saw that the pool is overflowing onto the pool deck. He has always been famous for turning on the water to fill up the pool and then forgetting about it. I've yelled at him more times than I can count and told him to just leave the *%$% pool alone.
When I saw the pool over-flowing, I walked outside and said "Are you filling the pool up that full for some reason?" He ran to shut the water off. He then came in and looked at me - I guess waiting for the yelling. He said "I'm sorry." I said "It's OK. I forget about it sometimes too. I usually have to set the timer to remind me. No big deal."
He went back outside and I smiled. It actually felt good. It felt better than yelling and throwing a fit. It really wasn't a big deal. There was no reason to scream at him yet again about doing yet another stupid thing while he was drunk. He knows. He doesn't need me to point it out.
I think I'm getting this part. I am going to go to the store tonight and buy a big bunch of flowers for my table in celebration of my mini victory.
L
He's outside doing yard work (aka drinking in the yard). I looked outside and saw that the pool is overflowing onto the pool deck. He has always been famous for turning on the water to fill up the pool and then forgetting about it. I've yelled at him more times than I can count and told him to just leave the *%$% pool alone.
When I saw the pool over-flowing, I walked outside and said "Are you filling the pool up that full for some reason?" He ran to shut the water off. He then came in and looked at me - I guess waiting for the yelling. He said "I'm sorry." I said "It's OK. I forget about it sometimes too. I usually have to set the timer to remind me. No big deal."
He went back outside and I smiled. It actually felt good. It felt better than yelling and throwing a fit. It really wasn't a big deal. There was no reason to scream at him yet again about doing yet another stupid thing while he was drunk. He knows. He doesn't need me to point it out.
I think I'm getting this part. I am going to go to the store tonight and buy a big bunch of flowers for my table in celebration of my mini victory.
L
glad you are feeling good and rewarding yourself! good job!
Queen of one liners
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: walking beside you! Not in front of you.
Posts: 658
Re: So that's how it feels...
Count your victories! You deserve a huge hand. It doesn't matter if someone else thinks they are small. I count every victory, every baby step I make. Even through it's progress not perfection, it's still your victory. For many of us when we're around the drinking we are told repeatedly we're the problem, we're wrong, it's our fault. SO now that I am in recovery and can actually see MY progress I count it a victory.
Buy those flowers and enjoy!
Love, Daffodil
Buy those flowers and enjoy!
Love, Daffodil
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