Kath76

I've been on and off the alcohol for the last few months, I find that after a few days off I don't think there is a problem and then I drink for probably 5 nights straight then I wake up at 2 am and can't sleep and turn to SR again. What's wrong with me, I have the best kids, family, new dog. I just keep holding myself back thinking that next drink is what makes me happy but here I am again feeling anxious, guilty and disappointed. My cycle is morning - I'm never going to drink again, midday - maybe one drink later I've earnt it, evening - whole bottle of wine then pass out in bed and wake a 2 am because I can't sleep and feel guilty. Next day starts all over again. It's unbelievable how I kid myself each day.

Here goes again day 1 - Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences I can relate to so many of you.

I have so much to prove to myself.

stepping

Kath, I can relate to this post completely. My last binge entailed exactly what you posted for me too. You can jump off the merry go round! I did and now am thanking God for 48 sober days and sleep filled nights. Best of luck to you! You CAN quit!

LexieCat

How about instead of just making promises to yourself you do something concrete to reinforce your desire to quit?

When I quit drinking, I promised myself an AA meeting a day for 90 days. Every day, for those three months, I had someplace I had to be during the time I was normally drinking, and getting an infusion of reasons to continue. In between meetings, I read recovery literature. I made it the number one priority in my life, and let some other things slide for a bit. Because if I didn't achieve sobriety, none of those other things were going to matter.

Ask your family to help out a little extra at home while you focus on this. It's going to be a great gift for all of you.

Delilah1

Hi Kath,

Try making plans to do something during those witching hours. Game night with the kids, gym, go for a walk, support group, read... Anything that will keep you sway from that first drink. After a while not drinking will be your new habit, but those first few days, even weeks can be tough.


I know I spent a lot of time reading and posting on here at first too. You can do this. Do it for you and for your kids. Let us know how you are doing later.

neferkamichael

Kate, Here goes again day 1 - Thank you everyone for sharing your experiences I can relate to so many of you? You are FANTASTIC. Kate, please never give up.

soberclover

I needed to remember that it isn't the drink that makes me happy; I make myself happy. The reality is that alcohol makes me miserable. Don't think too far ahead; just hour by hour. For that hour; don't drink. I needed/need to figure out why it is that I feel like I "need" or "deserve" a drink. What I found I need is to actually relax. I'm a stressball. I used to think a glass of wine would relax me...wrong! It just gives me delayed and additional stress! You can do this! Hope to hear how you are doing!