Chloe1981

Have you ever found yourself clinging onto those little moments of normalcy with your addicted spouse? Its hard for me to put into words. But its like one day or a week goes by and its completely normal. Normal every day to day stuff. Nothing crazy. Then a random day comes and they don't come home after work. Or they run to the store and don't come back for hours. And the chaos begins. And the vicious cycle of obsessing, trying to find out where they are, trying to prove that you are right about your suspicions, trying to catch them in their lies..And then you do catch them, but it doesn't even matter. Because it doesn't change anything.
And then the promises of change, sobriety, meetings, counseling. And it lasts for a few days or even a few weeks.
And then it happens again. And again. And again.
IT SUCKS.

dollydo

IMO, there is no normal when one has a relationship with an active user, or for that matter an addict in the 1st stages of recovery. As a codependent person, I liked to play "Let's Pretend"
everything is ok, if even for a day. It gave me hope, where there really was none.

My exabf was a binge drinker and crack user, he could go a month or so without using an substances, then off he would go. Even when he was clean and sober, I would not define him as normal, and I can certainly say...I wasn't...it was all a facade, an imaginary mindset I had created.

Yes, addiction "sucks", I am sooo glad I finally saw the light and moved on with my life, now my todays are as "normal" as they will ever get and they are real....real fun...real peaceful...real happy!

Chloe1981

Yes you are right. It's "pretend"... That's all it is....

LoveMeNow

Chloe, Cynical One has a very informative blog. She has compiled a wealth of information that has really helped me learn how to work on my own recovery. When I found myself thinking or obsessing about my husband, I would go read there to keep or put the focus back on me. It was very effective. Just wanted to share what worked for me!