Words to live by...
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Aurora, CO
Posts: 85
Words to live by...
My aunt posted this on her facebook a while back and it is very poignant and relevant to me. I don't know where it came from or who wrote it, but I have re-read it a lot...
It's a tough reality to accept, but you cannot save a person from themselves, and you cannot save a person from their path. You can love someone with your whole heart, all the way, but you cannot protect them from pain. It might be the kind of blinding pain life can bring with no warning and no fairness and no logic. Just an event that changes everything forever. And all you can do is show up, and hold their hand, or carry them if they need that. Or cry with them, or feed them. Basically, all you can do is love them. Or it might be the kind of pain they're bringing on themselves. Either way, you are powerless, except inasmuch as you can express your love, your concerns, and your willingness to help. You can lend an ear, a shoulder, or anything else you've got. But at the end of the day, we are all going to have some heartbreak to face in this life. And some people much more than others; it's not a level playing field.
If a person you love is bent on self-destruction, my heart goes out to you, because you are going to suffer. Sometimes it's like watching someone step out in front of a speeding train. You want to throw your body over them, or yell, "Stop!!", but really, you never know how someone else's journey is supposed to unfold. It's impossible to say what another person needs to learn certain lessons, what they need for their own growth. If you have to love someone from afar in order to love yourself well, then by all means, build yourself a little fence. Or a big one. But there's no doubt, deeply loving anyone takes courage. Opening your heart and making yourself vulnerable and saying, "yes, see this here, and this, and this...I am all too human and I lay myself bare before you and ask you to love me and accept me, anyway", and realizing that you may very well be hurt. Because even if you have the most extraordinary love story anyone has ever heard of, we humans are mortal. Loss is part of the equation.
Love, anyway. Love with your heart wide open and your mouth full of YES, your arms outstretched. Because there is nothing greater you can do with your time here than to spread as much love as possible with every day you are gifted. Don't try to save anyone. That can't be done. You will never "make" another person happy, but you can certainly love them and love yourself and love this life with all its pain and gorgeousness, all its surprises and disappointments, all its confusion and mystery and unbelievable light.
It's a tough reality to accept, but you cannot save a person from themselves, and you cannot save a person from their path. You can love someone with your whole heart, all the way, but you cannot protect them from pain. It might be the kind of blinding pain life can bring with no warning and no fairness and no logic. Just an event that changes everything forever. And all you can do is show up, and hold their hand, or carry them if they need that. Or cry with them, or feed them. Basically, all you can do is love them. Or it might be the kind of pain they're bringing on themselves. Either way, you are powerless, except inasmuch as you can express your love, your concerns, and your willingness to help. You can lend an ear, a shoulder, or anything else you've got. But at the end of the day, we are all going to have some heartbreak to face in this life. And some people much more than others; it's not a level playing field.
If a person you love is bent on self-destruction, my heart goes out to you, because you are going to suffer. Sometimes it's like watching someone step out in front of a speeding train. You want to throw your body over them, or yell, "Stop!!", but really, you never know how someone else's journey is supposed to unfold. It's impossible to say what another person needs to learn certain lessons, what they need for their own growth. If you have to love someone from afar in order to love yourself well, then by all means, build yourself a little fence. Or a big one. But there's no doubt, deeply loving anyone takes courage. Opening your heart and making yourself vulnerable and saying, "yes, see this here, and this, and this...I am all too human and I lay myself bare before you and ask you to love me and accept me, anyway", and realizing that you may very well be hurt. Because even if you have the most extraordinary love story anyone has ever heard of, we humans are mortal. Loss is part of the equation.
Love, anyway. Love with your heart wide open and your mouth full of YES, your arms outstretched. Because there is nothing greater you can do with your time here than to spread as much love as possible with every day you are gifted. Don't try to save anyone. That can't be done. You will never "make" another person happy, but you can certainly love them and love yourself and love this life with all its pain and gorgeousness, all its surprises and disappointments, all its confusion and mystery and unbelievable light.
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,437
Loving someone bent on destruction with you arms wide open is a pretty tough thing to do. Forgiving them can make it easier but I was still cautious and not expecting much from my parents. They never did fill any emotional needs for me, even after I had forgiven them and had a nominally polite relationship with them. Be careful of your heart. Protect yourself.
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