DaveyT

Ok I gave up about 4 days ago, then I lapsed so this is day 1 again really. The withdrawal had started, which starts wth mild mania then ends up in anxiety. This time though as I stopped and started again so quickly it's gone straight to the anxiety. I am dealing with that atm, as horrible as it is I know it will pass by about day 10 as it did last time. Doing some breathing exercises and listening to calming music. Hearts still pounding a bit but it comes and goes. Terrible night sweats last night

I'm so tempted right now, the shop is just up the road, a 3 minute walk. I'm counting down the time until it closes, then I'm safe for another night, finding it very hard to take my mind off that certain special isle, filled with green and brown glass, reds and whites and all other things that glitter and shine to the eyes of an alcoholic. Little jewels that other people don't see any real value in.

I've spent a while today reading stories on here, some inspirational stories of long term success but I find reading the horror stories seems to keep me reaching for my coat and wallet to satisfy this urge.

Hope everyone else is doing ok.

Windancer

Hello DaveyT,
I remember this all too well. I know it is so very scary and all I wanted to do was escape the anguish, and drink. Is your doctor on board? I didnt think I needed medical help but landed in the hospital with bad withdrawals three times.

Exercise, magnesiem, vit b, and fish oil really helped me a lot. A ran a nutritional program past my doc and the difference was like night and day. Not an instant fix to everything...just assisted my body to adjust a lot. Melatonin helped me a lot for sleep.

Remember that it does pass!!! Giving in will just give you instant gratification and prolong all this agony. It will be worth it when you start to feel better and your body will thank you!

Do you have a plan/program for your sobriety? I found I could not stay stopped at all and had no hope for it until those crucial things were in place. I still am in very early recovery but I am more determined, hopeful and saying no at times when I otherwise wouldnt.

Good luck! Dont pick up

9yearsgone

DaveyT,

Hang tight and dont give in. Just think of waking up tomorrow morning, lying in bed, and realizing you did make it.

How would that make you feel? Proud? Guilt free? Powerful? In control?

I argue with my self on and off. Should I get a six pack? I am doing really good, I deserve a drink!

Nothing beats waking up and realizing how f'in strong I am for not giving in. I feel like a winner every morning I wake up and have not drank the day before.

Revel in this feeling next time DaveyT!

MrsKing

The more you refuse to give in to those cravings, the less power and strength they have. Cravings are not commands and you don't have to act upon them. You don't have to argue with them, either. Look at them, see them as an object, a thought, a voice, whatever you want - and really look at them until they fade. Try not to let them rouse any emotional anger, hurt, upset, whatever in you. Stay calm and let it go... the way you choose to react to cravings, wants and desires really makes a difference, I think. I quit cigarettes a few months after I quit alcohol and used all that I'd learnt from it... the major thing was that I could either choose to work myself up and get myself upset and annoyed that I couldn't have what I wanted, or I could choose to believe I didn't want it, and keep repeating that I didn't until I truly didn't.

DaveyT

Thanks guys, you have no idea hw much you just helped me.

My longest ever time was two months so I know how good it can feel to stay sober, need to hang onto that thought.

My doctor isn't in on ths but no worries, I know exactly how the withdrawal has affected me before, never been close to needing medical intervention. Although I have nearly picked up the phone for an ambulance several times due to the anxiety, it makes you think all kinds of crazy things. You think you're dying, going nuts etc etc. But it all passes once the withdrawal is done. First 4 days are usually te worst for me, followe by an unpleasant peak somewhere near day 10.

I have a nice healthy diet already so no lifestyle changes needed. Taking a one a day multivitamin just to cover my bases. Also taking B vitamin complex because I know how alcohol depletes these. Plenty of grapes to replenish my magnesium. And I take a quality fish oil anyway.

Hope that will all help me along.

DaveyT

Guilt free! That's what I feel when I'm sober. The time when I'm walking to the shop after giving in I feel guilty, on the way home I feel guilty, when I open the bottle and pour out a glass I feel guilty and when I wake up in the morning I hate myself for giving in to what is essentially a self inflicted problem that I and only I am responsible for.

Yes that's what will get me through today, staying sober, thank you for reminding me.

And sorry to take up so much of everyones time.

mecanix

Hello DaveyT ,
just remember it's poison with good marketing .. For me there was nothing fun or attractive about it when i quit .
Stay strong ,

Bestwishes, M

FeelingGreat

DaveyT, the cravings are killers. I had a range of strategies for coping with them and I did cope until after a while they went away. The fantastic feeling of waking up knowing I'd lasted another day was the best ever.
If you can hang on for a few weeks you'll find they start to give up. As a quick relief I found taking 5 deep breaths, concentrating on them, helped every time.

Zebra1275

It would be worthwhile to see a Dr. to help with your detox. I've done that and a found that a minimal does of Valium makes a huge difference in the anxiety and restlessness. My other method of coping with the detox was to have a couple of beers and that's a terrible way to do it. Obviously that just makes a tough situation worse. Get some medical assistance.

Stewart888

Davey, easy for us all to say hang in there buddy, you can do it....but buddy it is true. We all have been where you are tonight. We all have had the cravings. They have a pull. We know. So all we can say is hang in there and you can do it.

Living here in Thailand and retired, I have a lot of time on my hands. The stores do not close, there are little ma and Pa store all over the place with cheap shots of Thai Whisky...but I did it so far, cravings were tough...take a shower, have some water....once the store is closes you can relax..the best part is coming up...when you wake up tomarrow....or sooner, when you have to take a pee at 4am...you can walk to the john without feeling sick and repeating to your self. CRAP WHY DID I DRINK......the cravings get less and less...and much more manageable....hold on buddy!!

Bruno1979

DaveyT,

I have had a bad week this week,

Everywhere I turn there is a problem, once I've fixed one then another one will develop. Ill be glad to get this week out of the way.

The one thing that has kept me sane if the fact that I haven't had to worry about my drinking problem. If I was drunk or hungover then this week would have been nigh on impossible.

I was tempted to drink at times don't get me wrong, but deep down its not the right thing to do. Its a total nightmare I know it is but keep strong.

Hang in there buddy.

Bruno.

soberclover

I wanted to drink yesterday but quickly came to the conclusion that I was overtired and the best thing for me was to just go to bed. I think each time I don't give in to the craving I get stronger in my recovery. You CAN do this!!!!!

And you aren't taking up "too much time"....reading this thread has been a great reminder to me of why giving in and taking the drink isn't a good idea!

escapist

I ate and slept my way through the first couple of weeks. Read things here. Saw myself in almost every single post. I would see threads titled 30 days, 90 days, one year and thought I will never make it. I could'nt imagine being one of the success stories. I was more in 15 minutes league. Yesterday was 100 days for me.

Coldfusion

But we ARE worried. We are concerned about your health and the success of your recovery.

There are many different levels of intervention--a trip to the ER should be a last resort. My little excursion to the ER cost $4,000, almost three months ago, and we keep getting new bills. And you know what? The only "intervention" I needed was fluids and some anxiety medication.

The best thing to do is see your doctor--and be honest--before you need the ER. A doctor can prescribe things to help you with anxiety.

Delilah1

Hi DaveyT,

Glad you came here and posted. The first few days are the toughest, and I spent a ton of time on SR. You had two months sober, think of the things you did to help you get to that point. Hang in there, and make plans to keep you busy this weekend.

DaveyT

I appreiciate your concern however I have been through withdrawal before and it has never approached the DT's. I won't be in danger, just the anxiety makes it fel that way.

As for the medical bills, well I'm in the UK so my medical costs are completely covered, it wouldn't cost me a penny to go and see a doctor and I think it's nine pounds for a prescription for any medication. However doctors here do not like giving out anti-anxiety meds like they do in the USA and Canada. Those meds are highly addictive if you're taking about stuff like valium so they're treated with caution here. Anyway getting rid of the anxiety seems silly, I have gotten through it before and I was able to last 2 months sober because the fear of drinking and going through the anxiety again kept me sober. I need to go through this anxiety to use it as fuel to stay sober.

The only other anxiety drugs would be antidepressants but they take months to kick in and the anxiety will only be temporary during withdrawal so that's pretty pointless. The longer I stay sober the less it becomes and after 2 months I had barely any of it. I imagine if I had lasted 3 months it would have been gone completely.

Getting the usual side effects, feel hot, anxious, heart is pounding a bit, slight headache. I've seen it all before and I know I'm not in danger. I have a blood pressure monitor (not for me) but I can use it and check nothing is out of the ordinary. I would call an ambulance if I thought something bad was happening, like if I start shaking or anything like that.

It's 8pm here, just need too hold out for 2 more hours and the shop up the road shuts. No 24 hour shops around me so i'll be safe once they close up. When the shop shuts I just feel a big relief, a big weigt just sort of shifts off me. Hoping I can get some sleep.

Bit of a long reply sorry, the anxiety is causing the thoughts to race a little bit.

Bruno1979

Where are you based DaveyT?

DaveyT

West of England, I don't want to be more specific than that if it's ok. Of course I could give my county and not narrow it down much but I like to remain as anonymous as possible when discussing these things.

And it's after 10pm now, shop is shut, I made it through day 1 Cravings are even dying off a little but I know they'll be back. Point is I made it today when I was feeling so very weak.

This forum is great for support.

DaveyT

I don't know the rules about updating posts, I was just going to leave this as it was day 1 but some people seem concerned about my safety because of the withdrawal so I thought I would update to put some minds at ease.

It's 1pm, haven't had a drink and I'm feeling stronger today than yesterday. Anxiety is bubbling along with me but it's not awful right now. Last night was bad, night sweats all the way through, soaked the bed head to foot so had to wake up and sleep on the floor. Hate the night sweats during withdrawal.

Other than that I'm fine, no shakes or anything approaching DT's.

Received

Updates are wonderful! I always look for them so I can see how someone is faring.

I'm glad you're doing better today.

I guess right now it's most important to deal with the detoxing.