CarrieTX

I've caught myself thinking about my alcoholic exbf through out the day - even thinking, "maybe we will get through this." Then, I would remind myself how high the chances are that he would relapse and would picture what that life would look like for me. Codependency and fantasy thinking suck me back to who I used to be. I don't want to go back to being that person.

ReflectingOnMe

Not wanting to go back to our old habits is progress. So glad you found SR. Some days it is the only thing that keeps me on my rediscovery of my self.

mely86

Hello,

i find myself in similar situations. In my case he left me but always tried to come back to me, for 2 years!!!sometimes i was strong and said no...sometimes i took him back and then all the problems started again... those situations were distroying ourselves. i don't understand why he wanted me so much but at the same time hated me so much as well. everything about me was NOT OK, (except my body and face).
I took him back cos I said to myself that he will have to change someday...but NO..he never did while I was there...he would imply that it was my fault cos he was not in love with me and said that if he would find love then he would quit. Those words haunt me cos now he is with another girl...I always wonder if this time things will be different. Maybe he has found a good reason now. Why that reason could not be me? Why am I here to ask this to myself? Days with him were awful.

ReflectingOnMe

mely86... on here somewhere is "the other woman" syndrome. Look it up - things won't be any different for any other woman in his life..some will last longer than others...but it will be a revolving door. my xabf used to say he swapped out his women every 4 yrs. I always thought it was a joke - BUT NOPE. He dumped me for some woman he met on FB...I asked him why (in the heat of the break up) he would throw away our 4 years together and he said "for 4 years with her, i will be a wrecking ball in her life too..and then she will be gone and I will move on". Kid you not. I was so very devastated...now at my almost 2 month mark I see it for what it was..serious dysfunction...from our first date to the last moment.

ZiggyB

ROM - yeah my ex had similar patterns. He was not able to make most of his relationships last, he got married and that only lasted for a year. The Gf he had before me got sick of his abuse, his ex-wife left him after trying unsuccessfully to get him some help. I don't know what I was even doing with him having known all that information, I must be sicker than I thought! lol...