12 Traditions for Family Relationships
12 Traditions for Family Relationships
"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance –
That principle is contempt prior to investigation." - HERBERT SPENCER pg. 570
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That principle is contempt prior to investigation." - HERBERT SPENCER pg. 570
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THE A.A. TRADITIONS
To those now in its fold, Alcoholics Anonymous has made the difference between misery and sobriety, and often the difference between life and death. A.A. can, of course, mean just as much to uncounted alcoholics not yet reached.
Therefore, no society of men and women ever had a more urgent need for continuous effectiveness and permanent unity. We alcoholics see that we must work together and hang together, else most of us will finally die alone.
The "12 Traditions" of Alcoholics Anonymous are, we A.A.'s believe, the best answers that our experience has yet given to those ever urgent questions, "How can A.A. best function?" and, "How can A.A. best stay whole and so survive?" Big Book pg. 563
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If the traditions can keep together a whole group of dysfunctional people, who would normally not mix from killing one another and self-destructing then…
Why can’t the traditions keep together a couple or family group and show them "How can they best function?". It makes sense that the traditions can answer the question "How can the relationship best stay whole and so survive?"
12 TRADITIONS FOR RELATIONSHIPS
Modified from a talk given on June 7-8 1996 by Mary Pearl Thompson “MERP” of North Little Rock, AR. These traditions are a compilation of ideas and experiences from Merp’s couples group and have been added to slightly, with our own relationship experiences. * Revision 3
1. Our common welfare should come first, a healthy relationship depends upon unity.
2. For our family or relationship purpose, there is but one ultimate authority - a loving God as He may express Himself in our informed family conscience. Each member is God’s trusted servant and no one governs.
3. Two or more persons, when gathered together for mutual benefit, may call themselves a relationship. The only basic requirements for a good marriage or relationship are a mutual desire to be in the relationship, a willingness to make the relationship work and an honest desire to live God’s will.
4. Each partner should be autonomous except in matters effecting the other partner, the family or society as a whole.
5. Each marriage or relationship has but one primary purpose - to serve as an expression of
God’s Love.
6. A partner ought not be overly supportive spiritually, emotionally, or physically to the marriage
or relationship, lest problems of ego or gratification divert us from the primary purpose.
7. Each partner ought to strive to be fully self-supporting physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
8. Our marriage or relationship should remain forever a free, giving relationship – one to the other. In a healthy relationship we do not keep score.
9. A family or a relationship should be pliable in it’s organization but, our group conscience may appoint certain persons to serve various functions and to be directly responsible to those they serve.
10. A relationship should avoid heated controversy.
11. Each partner best conveys his or her beliefs and philosophy by attraction rather than promotion. Anonymity is a valuable asset to the Marriage or relationship.
12. Anonymity expressed through Selflessness is the spiritual foundation of our way of life as marriage partners or friends; ever reminding us to place principles before personalities and the main principle in a loving relationship is unselfishness. Our greatest expression of Love is to be of help to one another and we can’t do that if we are selfish.
* BB quotes from the 1st ed.
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