pattyG

Well it is 3 days and counting since Ive seen my axgf and 2 days since she emailed me. I am resolved that this will remain no contact for I have too much to lose with the kids. I have started looking for a lawyer for family court and meet with a legal advocate from the DV center Friday. I am just sad. Sad she is crazy, that she would try to get my kids knowing how that would hurt me, sad that she is destroying the good in her life and clinging to the bad. I wonder how I fell this far, let someone so callous into my life....settled for this long. I think of all the horrible things she has done that I put up with, allowed. I should have left years ago. But I didn't. I clung to my magical thinking and now I have to explain to the lawyer and the court why I put up for so long with this abuse. Why someone so accomplished would tolerate addicts and criminals in her home around her kids. I feel sad but tomorrow is a new day.

ReflectingOnMe

I truly feel for you; we have all been there in one way or another. NC IMO really is the best route to go. It hurts something awful but it makes everything so frighteningly clear and after the clarity of what our REAL relationship was; how both of us attributed to the problems in our relationship... is helping me move on. Day by day.

LexieCat

Right, tomorrow IS a new day. I felt the same way when I left the last two men I had a relationship--how could I be so DUMB? But it isn't a matter of intelligence--we see something in the other person, and before we know it we are making all kinds of excuses for them and for the way they act.

For me, ending these relationships felt like coming out of a fog--sort of the way it felt when I quit drinking.

Hang in, you and the kiddos will be OK.

PohsFriend

Want one of us to smack you around for a bit so you can take a break from kicking your own ass? Lol, hang in there girl... We all have those "WTF WAS I THINKING!!!" moments.

I learned an important lesson about mental illness from my mom and got a refresher from my DDs mom.

You can't fix crazy.

Take a breath about the Family Court thing. What's her case? She split up with her GF and now misses GF's kids who so she wants custody when she's not high? I would so pay to see her sell that to judge Judy. Worry about this one at the conclusion of that snowball fight in hell my dear...she has neither parental rights nor common sense. She got you worked up, mission accomplished.

She claims she filed something... You can check online in many counties or call tomorrow to see if she filed anything ....bet you it's quacking.

Stop beating yourself up, it's not about past mistakes, it's about learning and getting better.

Hang in there.

FlowersJasmine

Sometimes we welcome people that are not so deserving in our lives. They come and mess us up, but the worst of it all is when we let them mess our families either knowingly or unknowingly. We do this by making excuses for them and even hoping that one day they are going to change.

What am trying to say is that you are not alone in this one.