Today i was about to sabotage myself by______, but then instead, i _______
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Today i was about to sabotage myself by______, but then instead, i _______
Today I was about to self sabotage myself by: not asking for help at work, which would leave me even further behind than I am, and take a toll on my health... when instead I picked up the phone and asked for help. And their help caught me up!
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(I have a lot of these so I am going to keep posting them to help me make this difficult behavior change. Hopefully I am not alone and others will write some!)
Today I almost self sabotaged by avoiding a call to the oil company to deal with billing and appointment issues. (I missed the last heater cleaning Id scheduled because i forgot to take off work, and couldnt afford the last big bill.)
Instead, I just made myself call... and they have an appt available to come clean heater on my next day off!
and I set up an oil delivery Monday...and instead of them auto deducting it, they will give me the bill and I will call them with a plan to pay some of it over several pay periods.
Turned out well! Why do I avoid these things so much? It usually only worsens the outcome by avoiding...
Today I almost self sabotaged by avoiding a call to the oil company to deal with billing and appointment issues. (I missed the last heater cleaning Id scheduled because i forgot to take off work, and couldnt afford the last big bill.)
Instead, I just made myself call... and they have an appt available to come clean heater on my next day off!
and I set up an oil delivery Monday...and instead of them auto deducting it, they will give me the bill and I will call them with a plan to pay some of it over several pay periods. Turned out well! Why do I avoid these things so much? It usually only worsens the outcome by avoiding...
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Join Date: Aug 2012
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Today I almost sabotaged myself by thinking that things will work if I just get on the phone with no focussed objectives, strategy and tactics - its a pure avoidance response that historically keeps me on the ground, or hovering hazardously close to the ground.
My avoidance behaviours are so ingrained and at times invisible it will take ages to focus my work but I am making a little progress every day, which is 100% per day more than before I began working on living sober.
I always try to remember to be grateful that I have food, heat sources and a roof over my head right now. That's enough.
My avoidance behaviours are so ingrained and at times invisible it will take ages to focus my work but I am making a little progress every day, which is 100% per day more than before I began working on living sober.
I always try to remember to be grateful that I have food, heat sources and a roof over my head right now. That's enough.
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Great work Applecrumble! You encourage me, and help me feel less alone!
I have done serious self sabotage with my health for several years. Usually because I was putting my mothers terminal health issues above my less serious ones. But I have to start caring for me. So instead of avoiding, I just NOW called and set up a follow up ultrasound that I am two years behind on getting. They were able to get me in next Saturday when I am off. And I was also able to schedule a mammogram right afterwards at the same location, and all early in the morning. It was so easy! (But now I have to go this time. I have cancelled before for reasons I thought were good. I can't do that anymore. )
I have done serious self sabotage with my health for several years. Usually because I was putting my mothers terminal health issues above my less serious ones. But I have to start caring for me. So instead of avoiding, I just NOW called and set up a follow up ultrasound that I am two years behind on getting. They were able to get me in next Saturday when I am off. And I was also able to schedule a mammogram right afterwards at the same location, and all early in the morning. It was so easy! (But now I have to go this time. I have cancelled before for reasons I thought were good. I can't do that anymore. )
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Today I almost sabotaged myself by giving in my feelings of guilt about not telling a close coworker about my DWI. I may end up telling her at some point, but for today, I'm not ready. It's my business and nobody else's, and I don't know why I feel like I am doing something wrong by not telling her. I'm not trying to delude myself that it didn't happen, I've told other friends, I just don't know if I want anyone at work knowing, because I don't trust that she'll keep it to herself, and the gossip mill around here is out of control.
Instead, I am being respectful of my own feelings - if I'm not ready to talk, I'm not ready to talk, and pushing myself is going to benefit no one.
Great idea eternalq!
Instead, I am being respectful of my own feelings - if I'm not ready to talk, I'm not ready to talk, and pushing myself is going to benefit no one.
Great idea eternalq!
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Congratulations, Alison. Your choices are your choices so I'm glad you respect them.
It's striking thinking back the number of times I transferred power over my 'stuff' over to others even though I wasn't ready or knew it might not be quite right.
EQ, bless you on getting those scans organised! 'Bout time you prioritised your needs
It's striking thinking back the number of times I transferred power over my 'stuff' over to others even though I wasn't ready or knew it might not be quite right.
EQ, bless you on getting those scans organised! 'Bout time you prioritised your needs
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Join Date: Aug 2012
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Today, I was about to sabotage myself by saying I can't concentrate, I never have been able to concentrate, I never will be able to concentrate - I give up!
Instead I agreed with myself that concentration is a problem when I'm creating my own stuff, but that I recognise it for a what it is - a fear response - and I am slowly but surely rewiring my brain to improve. I am making progress, it's just slow. And that's OK.
Instead I agreed with myself that concentration is a problem when I'm creating my own stuff, but that I recognise it for a what it is - a fear response - and I am slowly but surely rewiring my brain to improve. I am making progress, it's just slow. And that's OK.
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I was thinking to myself, oh, you have to go pick up your allergy medicine, and some tp and other stuff. And you should get gas! You should go now before dark!
The sabotage voice suddenly said: oh that can wait till later, why dont you go later tonight? And you can get gas in the morning. Actually this can ALL probably wait until tomorrow!
But then suddenly I thought, now wait a minute! If I go tonight the pharmacy line will be super long. And its going to snow so the store will get crowded. And I remembered one time in a snowstorm that was severe a few years ago (to the point I couldnt walk in the snow or drive) I ran out of tp and had to borrow some from a neighbor. But I didnt run out of vodka! Somehow I planned ahead for that! I also suddenly could see ahead till the morning when I'd be scraping and shoveling before work, the neighborhood icy, and Id be trying to get to work on time. There'd be no way I'd go get gas before work. Wiho was I kidding?
So me and the pup went and got all the necessities and the gas. Doggie even got a new bone to keep him occupied through the storm. : )
Go away self sabotage voice! Go hang around wherever my Addictive voice went cause you're not welcome here either!!
The sabotage voice suddenly said: oh that can wait till later, why dont you go later tonight? And you can get gas in the morning. Actually this can ALL probably wait until tomorrow!
But then suddenly I thought, now wait a minute! If I go tonight the pharmacy line will be super long. And its going to snow so the store will get crowded. And I remembered one time in a snowstorm that was severe a few years ago (to the point I couldnt walk in the snow or drive) I ran out of tp and had to borrow some from a neighbor. But I didnt run out of vodka! Somehow I planned ahead for that! I also suddenly could see ahead till the morning when I'd be scraping and shoveling before work, the neighborhood icy, and Id be trying to get to work on time. There'd be no way I'd go get gas before work. Wiho was I kidding?
So me and the pup went and got all the necessities and the gas. Doggie even got a new bone to keep him occupied through the storm. : )
Go away self sabotage voice! Go hang around wherever my Addictive voice went cause you're not welcome here either!!
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Last night I almost sabotaged myself by not preparing for today, but then I at least laid out my medicine next to my bed so I could remember to take it. Hope to add on more night before preparations as many more will help me. I have trouble getting out of bed and am slow and forgetful in the morning. Not a morning person.
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Tonight before I left work, I remembered how (I keep forgetting) I promised a friend of a friend I would email him some referrals. This was weeks ago.
I heard my self sabotage voice say: "oh you can do that from home or tomorrow."
But then something strange happened... I played out the scenario. And I knew I would not do it tomorrow. I knew I'd been telling myself this line for weeks and it was a lie. It is just like the lie my AV used to tell me.
So I took 15 minutes and did it before I left. Because when I played forward the scenario of doing it before I left work, that movie showed me feeling greatly relieved. And it is true... I am!
I heard my self sabotage voice say: "oh you can do that from home or tomorrow."
But then something strange happened... I played out the scenario. And I knew I would not do it tomorrow. I knew I'd been telling myself this line for weeks and it was a lie. It is just like the lie my AV used to tell me.
So I took 15 minutes and did it before I left. Because when I played forward the scenario of doing it before I left work, that movie showed me feeling greatly relieved. And it is true... I am!
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Today I was going to sabotage myself but instead....
Today I was about to complain about one person to another, and I thought, EQ what are you doing? Why re~live this? And make someone else live it too? Stay in the present. Let it go!
Today I was about to complain about one person to another, and I thought, EQ what are you doing? Why re~live this? And make someone else live it too? Stay in the present. Let it go!
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Today I was going to sabotage myself by hiding in the house all day.
But then I pushed myself to get out and interact with people in stores and at a cafe.
It made me feel a little more human. And certainly far better then hiding in the house numb would have done.
But then I pushed myself to get out and interact with people in stores and at a cafe.
It made me feel a little more human. And certainly far better then hiding in the house numb would have done.
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Today i was about to sabotage myself by______, but then instead, i _______
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1) ...not being totally honest to my vocational therapist about missing an important meeting with someone crucial to my career and not turning in my business plan.
2) ...but instead I confessed my screw-up rather than trying to make myself seem more "together" than I am - and she cleared time to discuss self sabotage and self image in the next appointment. It feels good to face problems head on with honesty.
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1) ...not being totally honest to my vocational therapist about missing an important meeting with someone crucial to my career and not turning in my business plan.
2) ...but instead I confessed my screw-up rather than trying to make myself seem more "together" than I am - and she cleared time to discuss self sabotage and self image in the next appointment. It feels good to face problems head on with honesty.
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: SE and then South some more
Posts: 2,648
All it takes is the stupid voice in the head. I have finally been able to just push it away, I know that generally, after 60 seconds, a couple of minutes, refocusing my mind, I forget about it.
Don't listen to your head!! At least not the bad stuff.
Don't listen to your head!! At least not the bad stuff.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Lincoln, Nebraska
Posts: 24
Today I was about to sabotage myself because I heard things I didn't want to hear, didn't do the things I planned to do. I ignored the phone calls I was suppose to answer.
But I am gonna call back potential roommates right after this post, because my current roommate is not yet ready to face her alcoholism.
I may be low on dopamine, but I am high on hope
But I am gonna call back potential roommates right after this post, because my current roommate is not yet ready to face her alcoholism.
I may be low on dopamine, but I am high on hope
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
Today I almost sabotaged myself by considering drinking to quell uncomfortable, negative feelings I was having. I was feeling empty, jealous and bored and momentarily thought that a few drinks would put and end to those feelings. But then instead I played the tape to the end, reminding myself of how I would feel tomorrow if I did that. Those negative emotions would be magnified by 100. So I shook myself, took my daughters shopping and then just took some time to myself to read on SR and recommit myself.
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