Resevations about attending hometown A.A meeting
Resevations about attending hometown A.A meeting
Hello there--
Tonight is the only night of the week that there is an A.A meeting in the very small town that I live in. The town I live in is close (10 minutes) to a much larger population however where there are several meetings a day and usually at night through out the week. However, I only have access to a vehicle at night--which means I can go to meetings there but it would be nice not having to do that often--(I hate driving at night.)
Here is my question: I am worried about going to a meeting in my town, because:
A., it doesn't feel to "Anonymous" and
B., what if I don't follow through and I step off the wagon again. I don't go out often, so I'm not sure it would be really obvious, but still. I don't need people knowing my business for any reason. Especially not something that feels private to me as much as this does--at this point anyway.
Then, I have to deal with people in A.A in town knowing I'm drop out or any one else that might know me well enough.
I know it seems silly. I don't "intend" to not follow through, but I never have intended to not follow through before, either.
Anyway, thoughts?
Tonight is the only night of the week that there is an A.A meeting in the very small town that I live in. The town I live in is close (10 minutes) to a much larger population however where there are several meetings a day and usually at night through out the week. However, I only have access to a vehicle at night--which means I can go to meetings there but it would be nice not having to do that often--(I hate driving at night.)
Here is my question: I am worried about going to a meeting in my town, because:
A., it doesn't feel to "Anonymous" and
B., what if I don't follow through and I step off the wagon again. I don't go out often, so I'm not sure it would be really obvious, but still. I don't need people knowing my business for any reason. Especially not something that feels private to me as much as this does--at this point anyway.
Then, I have to deal with people in A.A in town knowing I'm drop out or any one else that might know me well enough.
I know it seems silly. I don't "intend" to not follow through, but I never have intended to not follow through before, either.
Anyway, thoughts?
The other folks there are there for the same reason so I wouldn't worry about that part. And I would say don't allow yourself a way out... If you are going it is because you know it is serious.
A) Anonymity--Park several blocks away and wear lots of clothing. Act as if you are going into the meeting by mistake.
B) Don't worry about relapses. Sometimes a person shows up drunk at a meeting. I have been in line in the grocery store buying mass quantities of wine, and an AA fellow in line behind me just said, "Hello."
B) Don't worry about relapses. Sometimes a person shows up drunk at a meeting. I have been in line in the grocery store buying mass quantities of wine, and an AA fellow in line behind me just said, "Hello."
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Did you mind if the neighbors saw you stumbling home from the bar??
I'm sure they would rather see you walking home from an AA meeting....
You're right, showing up at a local AA meeting does have a certain responsibility to it.... are you serious about it ?? .....
I wish you luck.
Bob R
I'm sure they would rather see you walking home from an AA meeting....
You're right, showing up at a local AA meeting does have a certain responsibility to it.... are you serious about it ?? .....
I wish you luck.
Bob R
Recovered
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,129
I couldn't save my face and my a** at the same time. Drink and drug were killing me.
Glad I went, though. I ended up seeing many people I knew. Some kept coming, some not. We are all in the same boat, that pretty much evens the playing field. And when some came back in, we welcomed them with open arms.
Glad I went, though. I ended up seeing many people I knew. Some kept coming, some not. We are all in the same boat, that pretty much evens the playing field. And when some came back in, we welcomed them with open arms.
Did you mind if the neighbors saw you stumbling home from the bar??
I'm sure they would rather see you walking home from an AA meeting....
You're right, showing up at a local AA meeting does have a certain responsibility to it.... are you serious about it ?? .....
I wish you luck.
Bob R
I'm sure they would rather see you walking home from an AA meeting....
You're right, showing up at a local AA meeting does have a certain responsibility to it.... are you serious about it ?? .....
I wish you luck.
Bob R
I've already been to one meeting in town. So, am I serious? Well, I went to a meeting already, and that's more than I've done in years. I'm always afraid of how strong the voice in my head that tells me it's "no big deal" is. Once the hangover fades, that voice that doesn't want me to change is powerful and insidious. And, you know--the next time my husband comes home with a 6 pack, I probably won't get drunk. So, this pattern is a doozy because while I am clearly an alcohol abuser who has suffered serious consequences from drinking, I don't drink every day, I can moderate "at times," and it fools me into thinking it's all o.k.
I get the picture though, I'll just go. Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: fort wayne, IN.
Posts: 1,085
I understand how you feel. I remember standing in line at the grocery store and a man pointed me out and said "I've seen you at Washington House" I felt embarassed. It is supposed to be anonymus but some people talk to others.
I've heard of a couple of anonymity breaks, but I've never heard of anyone experiencing negative consequences as a result of being seen at a meeting (or outside a meeting, for that matter).
As you noted, people will see you drinking or drunk even if you don't go to AA. You think THAT doesn't cause gossip? I went to AA because I was ready to quit drinking. If I slipped, I slipped, and I had already promised myself that if AA alone did not do the trick I was treating myself to a stay at a rehab.
I suggest that you go in as if your life depended on it. It very well may.
As you noted, people will see you drinking or drunk even if you don't go to AA. You think THAT doesn't cause gossip? I went to AA because I was ready to quit drinking. If I slipped, I slipped, and I had already promised myself that if AA alone did not do the trick I was treating myself to a stay at a rehab.
I suggest that you go in as if your life depended on it. It very well may.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Franklin Co., MO
Posts: 15
I'm in the same boat. Small community, etc. Embarrassed, partially about dragging my husbands name through the mud. Only one meeting per month (thank goodness for SR!) but thinking of driving for other options. Thankful my eval for outpatient is 40 min. away. I'll do what I have to do but I'll do it NIMBY if I have the option.
the anonymity of AA starts off as something that the newcomer is very worried about....I was very worried about someone finding out that I was one of THEM
after AA saved my life, I became more concerned with the anonymity protecting the program that gave me my life back. that is, if I am having a bad day (which still happens occasionally when sober), and am acting like a jerk, I don't want someone to be able to point at me & say that's how people in AA behave.
all that being said....I hope it works for you as well as it did for me, good luck!!
after AA saved my life, I became more concerned with the anonymity protecting the program that gave me my life back. that is, if I am having a bad day (which still happens occasionally when sober), and am acting like a jerk, I don't want someone to be able to point at me & say that's how people in AA behave.
all that being said....I hope it works for you as well as it did for me, good luck!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 96
I was terrified going into my first meeting. But as was mention "the voice inside me" made me do it. I was amazed at how many people said hello "Tim" before the meeting even started. Talk about a warm welcome feeling. Wow that sure was cool. It turns out people I though were in control of everything were in the same spot as me at one point. Don't talk yourself out of going were all in it together. Good luck.
P.S everyone, I've already been to one meeting in town 10 minutes away before I got the flu, and I will be going to a "Womens Group" on Thursday. I was just thinking I should go tonight here in town before I start changing my mind on all of it!
Sounds like a very good idea. I know *I* tend to overthink things, and before I know it, I can talk myself out of my first good instinct.
If I meeting doesn't feel anonymous, then don't go. Anonymity is the foundation on which AA is built... it is in the name... Alcoolics Anonymous...
Once you are more comfortable in AA... going to the meetings in the next town over, you may feel more comfortable in your hometown.
I do not go to meetings in my very small hometown... It would never, could never, feel anonymous to me, for lots of reasons... So even though I am very comfortable in AA... I'll keep going to the several that are near me, about 15-20 mins away....
Once you are more comfortable in AA... going to the meetings in the next town over, you may feel more comfortable in your hometown.
I do not go to meetings in my very small hometown... It would never, could never, feel anonymous to me, for lots of reasons... So even though I am very comfortable in AA... I'll keep going to the several that are near me, about 15-20 mins away....
Hi G-Force,
I have only attended a few AA meetings, and I have also attended a few meetings offered through my insurance. They have some close to my work, but I did not want to risk having anyone from work see me.
I think the important thing is that you feel comfortable at the meetings, if that means you need to drive a little bit it may be worth it to alleviate the worry.
Good luck with everything G-Force!
I have only attended a few AA meetings, and I have also attended a few meetings offered through my insurance. They have some close to my work, but I did not want to risk having anyone from work see me.
I think the important thing is that you feel comfortable at the meetings, if that means you need to drive a little bit it may be worth it to alleviate the worry.
Good luck with everything G-Force!
You wake up in bed with a prostitute. You sit up and see your next door nieghbor on the other side of the prostitute. Don't think either of you will be doing a lot of sharing about the experience to friends in town.
I get it already! However, I'm actually new in town and I don't know that many people, so it might be why I'm feeling more self conscious about it.
To update-- I lamed out of the meeting here in town last night. However, I'm still not drinking, and I do not in anyway plan on laming out of the Women's Group A.A meeting in town on Thursday. I'll probably try go to a meeting there on the weekend as well, because I'm usually there with my family doing food shopping and bopping around.
I think I'll get over my worries about the in-town meeting after going to some town meetings and getting over my fear of the meetings in general.
So, that's my report.
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