87 days - feel like a new me
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 150
87 days - feel like a new me
Hi all,
I'm 87 days sober with 87 meetings under my belt and a sponsor and everything! I can't believe I actually am close to the end of my 90/90 commitment. Some people talk about complacency but I don't think I'm complacent - I am truly amazed at how different my thinking process has become. The obsession that haunted me day in and day out for over 10 years isn't there anymore - and in this short amount of time. Is that normal??!! Of course, it scares me a bit, thinking I may be on the honeymoon period, but I can't think that way. I have a solid program I'm working and I feel good, so why overanalyze it to death, right?
The only crappy thing I have going on is that my 2+ year relationship is failing miserably. I think he must have a control/anger issue and my drinking allowed him to be mean and to blame me for everything wrong. Now, with the lies and the booze non-existent, he has to find something to bitch about. It sucks but I don't want to make any major moves now, but man, does he bring me down. It's sad, because he only wanted me to be sober and now I"m sober and he's angry and mean as ever. But, I have this thing called "confidence" now - which I am not accustomed to - and it's helping me out.
I don't know - I'm rambling. I'm just reflecting today. Thank you to you all for all your amazing posts. You keep me going!
Peace - from the -20 degree windchill in Chicago!
I'm 87 days sober with 87 meetings under my belt and a sponsor and everything! I can't believe I actually am close to the end of my 90/90 commitment. Some people talk about complacency but I don't think I'm complacent - I am truly amazed at how different my thinking process has become. The obsession that haunted me day in and day out for over 10 years isn't there anymore - and in this short amount of time. Is that normal??!! Of course, it scares me a bit, thinking I may be on the honeymoon period, but I can't think that way. I have a solid program I'm working and I feel good, so why overanalyze it to death, right?
The only crappy thing I have going on is that my 2+ year relationship is failing miserably. I think he must have a control/anger issue and my drinking allowed him to be mean and to blame me for everything wrong. Now, with the lies and the booze non-existent, he has to find something to bitch about. It sucks but I don't want to make any major moves now, but man, does he bring me down. It's sad, because he only wanted me to be sober and now I"m sober and he's angry and mean as ever. But, I have this thing called "confidence" now - which I am not accustomed to - and it's helping me out.
I don't know - I'm rambling. I'm just reflecting today. Thank you to you all for all your amazing posts. You keep me going!
Peace - from the -20 degree windchill in Chicago!
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Wow! You sound like you are doing great. I am 3.5 yrs sober and go to 5 meetings a week and I know that going to meetings and working the steps is why I am still sober.
Now, do not ever forgot where you came from and how easy it would be to go back. One drink is all it takes.
In my first marriage when I sobered up I realize how screwed up my wife was and it ended in divorce. I do not blame my wife for my drinking but I do blame my marriage on the fact that in order to tolerate it I had to be drunk all the time did not stay sober but that is a whole other story.
Yes, confidence is a wonderful thing. I was so caught up in shame and guilt that I could not look anyone in the eye because I was always guilty of something even if I did not get caught at it. Now I like what I see in the mirror and can hold my head high.
Now, do not ever forgot where you came from and how easy it would be to go back. One drink is all it takes.
In my first marriage when I sobered up I realize how screwed up my wife was and it ended in divorce. I do not blame my wife for my drinking but I do blame my marriage on the fact that in order to tolerate it I had to be drunk all the time did not stay sober but that is a whole other story.
Yes, confidence is a wonderful thing. I was so caught up in shame and guilt that I could not look anyone in the eye because I was always guilty of something even if I did not get caught at it. Now I like what I see in the mirror and can hold my head high.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Montreal, Canada
Posts: 7
Wow, congradulations on being sober for so long, im sorry to hear about your boyfriend. On the bright side, you're an inspiration to all of us. Good luck and hold your head up, im sure you can make it.
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