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Waking up sick sucks.

Old 01-22-2013, 09:07 AM
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Waking up sick sucks.

I have to say, ever since I found out I'm having this baby I wake up feeling sick as hell and it's just like a hangover. Ironic since I'm sober. I never knew how much just being pregnant changes your body. It's really crazy. I'm thankful that I will get the chance to be a good mom free of drugs and alcohol. I guess I'm just venting and saying aloud that I hope it gets better. All these women on the mommy forums say how much they *love* being pregnant and that's why I'm here and not over there because, give me a break, I need to talk to people who can get real! Lol. I don't have a "glow" unless you count the sweat from marathon barfing. Gross, I know. That's the truth. Then there's the issue of already not getting any sleep because I have to wake up every two hours to use the bathroom or be sick. Nightmare. How do so many women have so many kids? Lmao.

I'm still a bit nervous and it seems like we will be ok but there's so much to think about with having a child. I need sober parenting advice! How does everyone do it? I'll have to balance school, work, motherhood, sobriety and keeping a house decent. It's a bit daunting. Also, I'm wondering if I should tell my new OBGYN / doctor that I'm in recovery because there will probably be issues with delivery and pain meds and all that... Although I don't know if that's a bad idea, I don't want social services checking in on me or something outrageous like that. I guess I have a while to figure it out. I'm due in August.

Sorry to be complaining I'm just sooooo sick I can't get out if bed yet and I'm bored. Any parents or anyone who has input I appreciate it. Have a good day everyone.
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Old 01-22-2013, 09:37 AM
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Hi there congrats on your bundle of joy to be, I had two kids and both my pregnancies were at nightmare, I had morning sickness bad and I felt so fat and ugly and to be honest I hated being pregnant but now I look at my beautiful kids and it was all worth it, oh and after baby is born there is no such thing as sleep cause in the beginning most babies need to drink every 3 to 4 hours and thats all through the night...but you will be so happy when baby is born and you look at your georgious babies face it is all worth it, good luck and congrats
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Old 01-22-2013, 09:49 AM
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Thank you gtq, I'm sure you're right : I'll realize it was worth it once I meet the baby.

Just glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks being preggo is no fun at all.

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Old 01-22-2013, 09:53 AM
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Hi girl! I have a 16 yr old and a 4 year old...I was not sober during either of those. I have to say ENJOY THIS EXPERIENCE!!!! You will not get it back girl! Im so glad to hear that you are sober now....keep it up. Unfortunately I was not, am my kids endured a lot because of my using. This is something I can't take back for them and it hurts. When I got pregnant with my now 4 year old, I was miserable, bored, and depressed because I put on so much weight.....looking back, it was not worth it and I regret taking that for granted. Goodluck and keep smiling girl!
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Old 01-22-2013, 09:56 AM
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Hi BabyJane,

I am a full time working mom to three amazing kids 9,8 and 5. I love each of them more than anything, however, I was not a big fan of pregnancy. I did not enjoy the nausea, or watching my body change in sometimes bizarre ways.

However, there were many things I loved too: hearing the heartbeat for the first time and realizing that there really was a little person growing inside of me, seeing the baby on ultrasound, feeling my baby move for the first time.... Also, it will all be worth it when you hold your little one for the first time, there is no better feeling.

Now when they turn two.... I will save that drama for another time
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Old 01-22-2013, 10:12 AM
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You are doing something only women can do. The memories from this will be sweet. As the pregnancy progresses you will get to "know" your little person.
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Old 01-22-2013, 10:25 AM
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Congrats on your pregnancy. I hated being pregnant too and did not bloom at all.I had terrible sickness and when that ended got gestational diabetes ended up on insulin and was worried something would be wrong with the baby. It's worth it though.

Look after yourself, put yourself first,rest and try not to make too many demands on yourself-don't expect too much of yourself.

I wouldn't tell your obgyn about your recovery. If you are sober now and have been all pregnancy there's no risk to your baby.If you tell them it's on your file and they may well involve social services. I wouldn't take a chance.You could just say you don't want pain meds. I had a section so can't really advise.good luck
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Old 01-22-2013, 10:41 AM
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BabyJane, love Yoda, big Star Wars fan, we went to the convention last year in Orlando, LOVED IT!!!!

Yeah, I don't remember any "glow" either, hopefully soon, this too shall pass. :P

Feel better!! :ghug3
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Old 01-22-2013, 12:54 PM
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Hey there--

congrats on being pregnant! Yeah, it's not always a picnic. For me, I was petrified until the second term, and ambivalent. Pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting are often not at all like hallmark cards--in fact quite opposite, usually. Any feeling your having--fear, ambivalence, whatever, it's normal. Everyone's experience is unique to them. Personally, when I first heard my baby's heartbeat--I cried an endless tears of FEAR, not joy. However, the joy did come later, and I LOVE my kid.

Originally Posted by ReadyAtLast View Post
I wouldn't take a chance.You could just say you don't want pain meds. I had a section so can't really advise.good luck
To address the problem of meds: if you want really want reality, here it is: (if don't I suggest not reading further!!!)

Labor was one of the most painful experiences I have ever been through. Now, to be sure--everyone's experience is different. My mother and nearly everyone else, told me how easy their labor was, and not to worry (no one wants to scare soon to be mothers). I wish in hindsight, that someone had prepared me for the possibility that it might not go as peachy as they all said. (My boy was posterier, and I didn't really dilate for two days. I turned down meds--not because I was in recovery, but for philosophical reasons.)

So in terms of meds, if this situation occurs (and I truly hope it doesn't) I would talk to the in advance (!) or midwife, and tell them your concerns. No ones coming to take away the baby! In any case you could talk about an Epidural in the case that you might need it. It's an anesthetic that makes the lower half of your body completely numb.

I would say the doctor or midwife absolutely should be informed of any concern you have, and they can come with a birth plan in the event you should need some type of intervention be it pain or otherwise.

I REAAAAAALLLLYYYY don't think your going to be judged or "registered" somewhere as "recovering addict"--after, your "recovering!" not active. The police state has not yet become that overt.

More "REALITY:"

Also---I had a difficult labor, I did not bond with my kid right away because I had a c-cection and I was really out of it. The proverbial "shaft of light" did not come down on my baby boy until days later.

That all being said, motherhood has been the hardest thing I've ever done, but also the most rewarding, and it has changed my life. I LOVE my child, and in even in my darkest hours as a parent I feel truly blessed to have my son and to be able to experience being a mother. The love is like nothing else I have ever felt.

Whatever you experience over the next 9 months, and even in the first few months of child's life---or at any point in your parenting journey--it's valid. Don't compare it to other mothers experiences of "pure joy" or whatever! I'm telling you, it's the beginning of "Mother Guilt."

Hang in there--things usually lighten up in the second trimester.

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Old 01-22-2013, 04:04 PM
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Oh yeah,

And please, for the love of whomever, don't stress about "doing it all." For the first while of your baby's life, you'll be lucky to sleep and change clothes and maybe take a shower. If you get some dishes or a load of laundry done, well more power to ya! As it goes a long, to do the other things you mentioned, you're going to need help and support from others. Partner (?) relatives, babysitting, daycare, and last but not least, friends.

The important thing is not to put to much pressure on yourself to "do it all," unless you want to end up in funny farm.

Cheers!
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Old 01-22-2013, 10:58 PM
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Thank you ladies for coming out in full force with all the great advice and words of wisdom. I knew I could count on you! I agree that the experience will be tough at certain points (like NOW) and probably when I look back after this baby comes it will be bittersweet because ill have my little one to love and what an experience! I already know that part will be amazing and beautiful. I don't expect it to happen right away and I am going to adjust my expectations for being super mom AND super sober chick AND super wife / gf, student, etc... You are correct that its probably going to make me crazy if I try to do it all.

Thanks again all of you. Any input is helpful and makes me feel so much less alone. Big hugs from my soon to be big belly and I.
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Old 01-22-2013, 11:02 PM
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Oh, and I appreciate the advice about talking to my doc too. Good ideas there and hopefully if I'm comfortable with him by that time I can be open and honest without being afraid it will be microchipped into my arm or something. Haha.

The world is crazy. I only get afraid because when my dad had cancer one of his doctors wrote in his chart that he admitted to being addicted to his prescription and it made his insurance situation impossible from that point on... Sad.... He was only addicted because they prescribed him Oxy for months on end and he got physically used to having it in his body like anyone would. Thank God not all docs are like that though.

Goodnight all!
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Old 01-23-2013, 08:20 AM
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I just had a thought---you could talk to a separate nurse/doctor/midwife about this before to long and get their advice/ reassurance off the record, and then talk to your Doc when you're comfortable.

P.S, I have a friend that was addicted to Morphine, and he has a terrible leg condition that he's in chronic pain for, and they give him....morphine. So, go figure.

In any case, pain meds are not your only option. An epidural is a med free way to cease the pain if need be.

Good luck!
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Old 01-23-2013, 09:55 AM
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I'm a stay at home mom to 2 little ones, and I have an adult child.

I had stitches in hooha after the birth of all my kids and I never needed anything more then super strength motrin after birth. My first was au natural no drugs whatsoever. The other 2 were epidurals. Epi's are the best thing EVER!!!!

I quit cold turkey with my pregnancies (the 1st I hadn't started drinking yet).

Congrats on the wee one!!!
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Old 01-23-2013, 10:09 AM
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I had a boss who was pregnant and she couldn't make it in her car to work in the mornings without having to pull over at a Burger King on the way to barf, hoping to God that the bathroom wasn't occupied. She got self conscious about doing it every day, so she'd buy some french fries so they'd know she was a paying customer.

She arrived late sometimes. One day when she hadn't showed up yet, someone asked where she was and someone else said, "probably blowing chunks somewhere."

I don't envy you. Squeezing something the size of a bowling ball out of a golf ball sized hole is gonna be the icing on the cake.

When I see pictures of mothers holding their freshly born babies, they may be smiling, but their bodies, hair, and complexion look like they've been through hell.
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Old 01-25-2013, 11:55 AM
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Haha Renaldo your post cracked me up thanks for the laugh. Yea it won't be easy or glamorous but I will be doing it whether I feel good or not! And yes I'm planning on an EI - I'm a small girl I don't even want to think about it. Haha
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Old 01-25-2013, 12:11 PM
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What an awesome gift you have growing
inside you. A beautiful, awesome, wonderful,
blessing that you will bring into the world and in
recovery.

For me, after I got sober 22 yrs ago, I became
reponsible in my recovery and made sure all those
people involved in my life knew of my recovery and
especially my doctors that my sobriety means
alot to me and is extremely important to me.

Doctors see soooo many patiants and with each
there is a file with personal information to help
them remember who they are treating and for what.

I remind my doctors which is very rare I need to
see them, but do remind them that if anything has
to be prescribed that it is not narcotic or habit forming
and wont interfere with my sobriety. Those doctors
are there to help me and being completely honest
with them can better my chances for staying sober
each time I see them and yrs to come.
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