Drinking my Merlot
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 18
Drinking my Merlot
So I am sitting here drinking my 6th glass of Merlot, wondering why I feel so compelled to do so. I am not sure I am in the right place, or asking for the right help but does drinking 5 + Glasses of wine per night qualify for a need for help?
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Seekinga, as a 'wine for reward' type drinker, I found the only way to moderate was to stop altogether. I know this isn't the answer you want (or me either) but non-alcoholics can have one glass as a 'reward' and stop there. We can't. And that is the difference.
Once you stop, and get through the difficult part, you'll feel great - hence my forum name.
Once you stop, and get through the difficult part, you'll feel great - hence my forum name.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 18
You are right, I know the answer. But how do I stop... Every time 6pm rolls around I want to have a wine. I feel helpless, I have tried for so long to stop, and have managed 6 months stints but right now it is proving too hard. Any advice is welcome.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: London
Posts: 1,010
Originally Posted by seekinga 
So I am sitting here drinking my 6th glass of Merlot, wondering why I feel so compelled to do so. I am not sure I am in the right place, or asking for the right help but does drinking 5 + Glasses of wine per night qualify for a need for help?
If you are here posting, a part of you wants something that most of us have had/are having/have had for years and years
S x
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Do you know of anyone, like a relative
or friend who is in a recovery program?
Sometimes we have to think about that
for awhile before we realize, hey I had no
idea that person was in recovery and they
were right near me the whole time.
Reaching out to that person would be
helpful and that person would be more
than grateful that you asked for help.
or friend who is in a recovery program?
Sometimes we have to think about that
for awhile before we realize, hey I had no
idea that person was in recovery and they
were right near me the whole time.
Reaching out to that person would be
helpful and that person would be more
than grateful that you asked for help.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 18
Everything you are all saying is true. I know I want to stop. I guess I just have to have the courage to do so like you all have done. I feel like crying when I read everyones posts, and sad that my life has come to this point.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: London
Posts: 1,010
Originally Posted by seekinga
So yes I guess I am in the right place. But how do I stop? I keep looking up how to return to social drinking but it is looking like that is an impossibility.
I know that I can't have a glass of wine now....one will be ok, I could then convince myself I can have a few and the next thing I know I'll be back to 1-2 bottles 5-6 nights a week.
I can't tell you how amazing it feels once the alcohol is out your system. I felt tired, wiped out for the first 10 days. I got aches, pains, infections etc but I am up at 06:30, sleep amazingly well now and feel so calm. I have no anxiety, regrets or that knot feeling in my stomach.
Please read around these forums and stick around.
S x
lillyknitting
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Loughton, Essex, England
Posts: 638
Originally Posted by seekinga
So yes I guess I am in the right place. But how do I stop? I keep looking up how to return to social drinking but it is looking like that is an impossibility.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
The whole idea of never drinking again... there are some of us who have a moment in their lives where they can, or have to, say... I will never drink again. And mean it. And feel free and uplifted... there is a set of tools that they use to help them do that... It is called AVRT or Rational Recovery.
There are others who can't imagine not ever drinking again. I was in that group. There are tools available to help you make the journey... to never wanting to drink again... AA is very helpful, especially when you find you can't not drink.
There are others who can't imagine not ever drinking again. I was in that group. There are tools available to help you make the journey... to never wanting to drink again... AA is very helpful, especially when you find you can't not drink.
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
I asked my counselor "how do I stop?", and he said.. "you pour out all of the alcohol from your house. You don't buy alcohol, you don't accept free alcohol. Done... now do you want to know how to STAY stopped?". Simple, not easy. I would start with your doctor, withdrawals can be dangerous. After that, well, hit up a meeting, see a counselor, read a recovery book, change your 6pm routine (I began going to the gym during my witching hours at first), pour it all out, don't go to bars, learn new hobbies, journal, read, meditate, follow your doctor's/counselor's/sponsor's suggestions.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Chicago Burbs- Illinois
Posts: 202
You can quit seeking- I did the same thing for quite awhile, every day after work there was no stopping me from buying a few bottles of red wine. Stopping myself from drinking every night was akin to me stopping a fully loaded freight train by standing in front of it- just simply no way.
One morning I woke up terrified and realized I have to stop somehow, AA was the only thing I could do and so I went to my first meeting. I was sick with fear but found some great people who (surprise) all knew exactly what I was feeling. I am not sure why but something about going to even just the first meeting broke the habit for me, it became much easier to not drink.
I then got cocky and decided after 1 or 2 more meetings that I was cured and it led to a pretty close call but that's a different story.
The point is that there is a way to stop- there are plenty of people who were just like us its not the most rare condition on earth and there are ways to address it.
One morning I woke up terrified and realized I have to stop somehow, AA was the only thing I could do and so I went to my first meeting. I was sick with fear but found some great people who (surprise) all knew exactly what I was feeling. I am not sure why but something about going to even just the first meeting broke the habit for me, it became much easier to not drink.
I then got cocky and decided after 1 or 2 more meetings that I was cured and it led to a pretty close call but that's a different story.
The point is that there is a way to stop- there are plenty of people who were just like us its not the most rare condition on earth and there are ways to address it.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: TX
Posts: 137
That's about a full bottle, right? That's what I've been drinking every night for the last 9 years. It's been getting worse the last 4 years or so with employment struggles and a few other things. A full bottle a night is way too much; in my mind it's become a real problem so I've gotten serious about quitting. I hope this helps you.
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