rxcyntax

So after this week, and starting for the first time to see stuff like twitching/shaky hands and sweating, I know I need to detox and cut down. Drinking has been getting worse over the past year... and progressively worse for the past few years, mainly due to depression and PTSD/RTS. I've been drinking from waking up until going to bed this past week and feel like crap physically. Yesterday it was a bottle of wine and half a bottle of vodka. Pretty much have only been eating one meal a day and the rest has been booze. I woke up a few hours ago, ate a couple of blood oranges, a piece of chocolate, and chugged a few glasses of water. Right now just had some soup and a glass of water with stevia. Kind of want to get through the next few days without drinking at least, get back to working, hiking, doing things/projects, and maybe drink socially at the end of the week. It's been harder to cut down as I work from home, live alone, don't have insurance or the funds to go to a detox center, etc. Also am single so no help there. And no car - bussing it to AA meetings or something is not appealing, neither is AA, as I'm looking to cut down not quit entirely and have seen a cultish mentality there. I mean it's self control with support and assistance, my main problem is depression. But I gotta admit the drinking has gotten bad and physical symptoms are unacceptable. I'm nauseated right now, next few days are not gonna be fun.

shoreladylu

Welcome to SR! Glad to see you've decided to change things since you seem pretty unhappy in your current life. I'm still rather new myself. I find reading posts here and in the alcoholism forum to be very motivational and eye opening. I highly suggest you only think about getting through today without drinking. Live one day at a time, over and over. Try not to think about "socially drinking" in a few days. I hope this doesn't offend or upset, but you aren't ready to socially drink a few days after stopping heavy drinking.
Good luck! Youre making a huge move! I look forward to reading about your journey!

whiskeyman

AA will help after you have found you cant cut down.
we have all tried to cut down.

Coldfusion

Have you seen a doctor about depression and detoxing? You could also ask for something to help with anxiety while you withdraw.

Figuring out the right meds for depression can take years, so start now. Some antidepressants take a month or longer to start working--or maybe it doesn't work after a few months, and you try something else.

Quitting isn't an instant process either. It actually takes forever.

ScottFromWI

Glad you've made the decision, there is a lot of help and support available here. You may want to check with your local salvation army, some have free detox or know of other low cost/free ones in the area. Withdrawal can be severe - please let someone local know you are doing so if you aren't going to the doctor so they can at least check on you and get you to the emergency room if necessary. Or at least have access to call 911 if you need it.

Like others have mentioned sometimes when you reach the point you are at, moderation is not an option once you've sobered up. Perhaps it is for you but be very careful as subsequent relapses and withdrawals can be even more severe.

Stay online and keep reading, there are a lot of folks here that can give you good support and advice ( although not medical advice )